Thursday, 28 April 2016

Astrology Puns,One Liners,Pictures,Sayings & Stories

So many things to enjoy and astrology is one of them!
astrology jokes one liners
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astrology puns

An illiterate Trinidadian father and his educated son with a PhD in Astrology went on a camping trip in Caroni . They set up their tent and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the Father wakes his son and asks: "Look up to de sky & tell me what yuh see?"
Son: "I see millions of stars".

Father: "What does that tell yuh, Son?"
Son: "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and planets in our Solar System".
Father remains silent for a moment then says: "NO JACKASS, somebody teef de tent!"
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"Astrology is nonsense"

- Taurus
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Also Read
Zodiac Jokes & Zodiac Signs Humor
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Funny Eye Jokes,Eye Doctor Jokes + One Liners,Quotes

Funny Eye Jokes

There is a man with a wooden eye in the club but no one wants to dance with him cause of his eye. He saw a women come in and her lips went up and down instead of across her mouth.

He though I've got a chance with this one and went up to her asking if she would like to dance.
She replied "would I!"

He said "don't call me wood eye cunt face!"
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eye jokes one liners

What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

Jokes On Architect With Funny Quotes,Pictures,One Liners

How about a 'home for 25 feeble minded boys" designed and built in the shape of a phallus and two testicles by Clough Williams-Ellis in about 1910.
Now that's what I call a joke!

For those who want to see it, try Princess Christian's Farm Colony, Hildenborough, Kent, England in Google Earth etc.

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Funny Advantages Of Being A Woman Jokes

Funny Advantages Of Being A Woman Jokes

Why it's better to be a Woman!

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers...

Monday, 25 April 2016

Best Jokes On Gender Equality + Funny Images

gender equality jokes
_________________________________________________
*On flight*
Girl-We want Gender equality in every aspect. Naari Shakti

*Suddenly plane Hijacked*
Girl-Ladies ko toh jaane do bhaiya please

Funny Jokes On Population,Over Population With Quotes,Pictures,One Liners

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!...

Hilarious Jokes On Delhi's Odd Even Formula With Images

delhi odd even jokes

Odd-even formula in Delhi is so effective that it even reduced pollution in Bangalore by 200%
_______________________________________________________

Delhi govt has decided to allow only Odd, Even number cars on alternate days to cut pollution.
Soon we are going to see written behind the cars- Jaat de Thaat, Kya Even kya Odd...

Saturday, 23 April 2016

Funny Zodiac Sign Jokes,Zodiac Puns,Hilarious Quotes,Descriptions,Stories,Facts

12 Zodiac Signs Humor

jokes about zodiac signs


Aries: Goofy, physical humor comes most naturally. These are some of the top mimics in the Zodiac! But they are also known to be quite witty out of the blue.

Taurus: Observational humor. They are usually unintentionally hilarious, and can take a step back and laugh at themselves too!

Gemini: Quick on the uptake, they remember jokes really well and can laugh at just about anything, This sign is most prone to making fun of someone, but not in a mean way, it’s usually because they’re interested.

Cancer: This sign has an endearing self-deprecating way of being funny. As simple as a silly facial expression or pretending to be serious when they’re not.
Leo: This sign tends to take everything in around them and deliver it verbally with a bit of exaggeration that not only is hilarious, but leaves you wanting to hear more. They know when they have you hooked, too.

Virgo: The pissed, but not pissed, complaining, but not complaining, snarky wit about people and their lives is usually very humorous and entertaining.

Libra: A little strife and sarcasm send Libra going a long way! Once they lose the cool exterior and start, there’s no stopping their story telling humor.

Scorpio: Sarcasm all the way. Comments here, comments there; it’s borderline rude, borderline passive aggressive, but funny nonetheless!

Sagittarius: Everything in life can be turned into some hilarious experience. A combination of observational humor, sarcasm, and exaggeration is where it’s at for this sign.

Capricorn: The no smile facade lives here. This sign can keep a straight face until they start laughing at themselves with a sharp uptake on what’s happening.

Aquarius: Just naturally funny. They don’t really try to be a joke teller or anything. Often times they’re bewildered that they’re being funny and start laughing right along with the others.

Pisces: This sign ranges from cute storytelling to down right obnoxious. They milk it too, taking all the time they need to have your attention and make you laugh...

Friday, 22 April 2016

Funny Kissing Jokes,Quotes,One Liners,Pictures And Much More

Puns About Kissing

Kiss on the stomach = I'm ready

Kiss on the Forehead = I hope we're together

forever

Kiss on the Ear = You are my everything

Kiss on the Cheek = We're friends

Kiss on the Hand = I adore you

Kiss on the Neck = We belong together

Kiss on the Shoulder = I want You

Kiss on the Lips = I love You



WHAT SOME GESTURE MEANS...



Holding Hands = We definitely love each other

Slap on the Butt = That's mine

Holding on tight = I don't want to let go

Looking into each other's Eyes= I just plain love you

Playing with Hair = Tell me you love me

Arms around the Waist = I love you too much to let go

Laughing while Kissing = I am completely comfortable with you

.
ADVICE - Dont ask for a kiss, take one and If you were thinking about someone while reading this,

you're definitely in Love..

Funny Jokes On SIM Card + Comedy Quotes With Images

sim card jokes

Sim cards and marriages...

1.AIRCEL- Love Marriage,

2.RELIENCE- Arranged Marriage,

3.AIRTEL- Love failure
& Marriage with another person.

4.IDEA- No Marriage,

5.DOCOMO- marriage with cute person,

6.VODAFONE - love &arranged,

7.Uninor - 2 time marriage,

8.VIDEOCON- Marriage with
super Person,

9.BSNL- Marriage in police station.

Thursday, 21 April 2016

Funny Selfie Jokes,Selfie Stick Jokes With Pictures,Quotes,One Liners

selfie jokes
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Selfie Stick Definition - Picture taking device used when the internet has made you so socially awkward you can't ask a stranger to take a pic for you

Funny Stomach Jokes,Stomach Ache Jokes With Images

Stomach Jokes & Puns

A mother noticed her daughter's stomach bulging and immediately asked her, "cindy!
How did you get pregnant?! Didn't I tell you to say "DON'T" if a man touches your breast,

and say "STOP" if he touches your private?"

The daughter replied, "Yes mum, I did that,but he was touching both at the same time and
I had to say, "DON'T STOP!"

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Funny Advice Jokes,Quotes,Sayings & All Hilarious Content Regarding It For You

advice jokes

Advice to all the girls

Do not play with Street dogs, u may get rabies And..

Do not play with
Smart boys, you may get babies

Smartness Jokes,Over Smartness Jokes,Funny One Liners,Quotes,Pictures

Intelligence Humor

Son:Dad there is a small get together tomorrow at school ...pls come.....

Dad: What do u mean by small?? Son: only u ,me and principal....

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

Funny Jokes On Cow With Comedy Pictures+One Liners

Funny Jokes On Cow With Riddles,Pictures,One Liners,Quotes

A cow was walking Newton stopped it, It stopped. He found his 1st law
"An object continues to ... move unless it's stopped"

He gave a force by kicking d cow, it gave a sound 'MA' He formulated d 2nd law
"F = MA".

After sometimes d cow gave a kick to newton Then he formulated d 3rd law
"Every action has an equal &opposite reaction"

Funniest AIDS Jokes,One Liners,Pictures,Quotes,Full Form That Will Make You Laugh

Aids Puns

Ek pakistani USA se apni AMMI ko phone karta hai.
KHAN:AMMI Jaan muje AIDS ho gaya hai.

AMMI:Tu wapas mat aana
BETA. KHAN:kyo AMMI

AMMI: agar tu aaya to teri biwi ko AIDS hoga,
Teri biwi se teri bhai ko, teri bhai se nokrani ko,

nokrani se tere abba ko, tere abba se teri mausi ko,
Teri mausi se tere mousa ko,

Tere mousa se Muje, mujse hamare driver ko,
driver se teri behen ko,aur agar teri behen ko ho
gaya to saare gaon ko hojayega!

Tuje ALLAH ke vasta saare GAON ko bachale !

Funny Recycle Bin Jokes With Quotes,Hilarious Pictures And All Humorous Stuff

Only Rajanikant can delete the Recycle Bin...

Monday, 18 April 2016

Comedy Marketing Jokes,Quotes,One Liners,Sayings,Pictures And Much More To Read & Laugh

Marketing Concepts Examples for MBA Students

A Professor Explained Marketing to MBA Students

1. You see gorgeous girl in party, you go to her & say I am rich marry me - That’s – Direct Marketing...

Funny Cockroach Jokes,Sayings,One Liners,Quotes & Hilarious Images

Hilarious Cockroach Jokes

A cockroach's last words to a married man who is about to kill him:-
"Go ahead & kill me, u coward! U r jealous of me coz ur wife is afraid of me & not afraid of u."

Sunday, 17 April 2016

Funny ICU Jokes,Quotes,One Liners,Pictures + All Funny Stuff For You

Here Are Some Funny ICU Jokes,Quotes,One Liners & Pictures

Wife was in ICU !
Husband was unable to control his tears .
Doctor: we are trying our best , but can't assure for anything. Her body is not reacting . It seems she is in coma.
.
.
Husband: Doctor please save her she is merely 30 years old yet .
.
.
At sudden something happen miraculous ECG started rating,, a hand moves, her lips mumble, & she spoke out
Dear i m 27 not 30

Broken Leg Hilarious Jokes,Quotes,One Liners,Pictures And Lot More To Laugh

Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him. Mick walks in and asks, "How you doin?"

"Okay, but do me a favor mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing."

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed.

Seeing an opportunity, he says, "Your dad's sent me up here to have s** with both of you."

They say, "Get away with ya Mick.... prove it."

Mick shouts downstairs, "Paddy, both of em?"

Paddy shouts back, "Of course both of em Mick..., what's the point of f***in one?"

Saturday, 16 April 2016

Hilarious Bathroom/Toilet Jokes With One Liners,Quotes,Pictures And Much More

Funny Bathroom Jokes

A man's Iphone 6s fell down the toilet... He was devasted and started crying...

Seeing his dismal state the toilet goddess came out with a golden Iphone. .

The guy remembered the woodcutter story and trying to be modest said "I don't want this gold Iphone mine was a simple one"

Hearing this the toilet goddess smiled and said "Abey ye wo hi hai. .. isko dho lena".

Funny Geography Jokes,Question Answers,Quotes,One Liners And All Related Comedy Stuff

Best Collection Of Funny Geography Jokes,Riddles,One Liners,Quotes,Pictures

Geography teacher : agar koi chota planet pruthvi se takraya to kya hoga?

Student : 'tadang' karke awaz ayegi

teacher (gusse me) : kyu

Student : ye duniya ye duniya pittal di :D

Friday, 15 April 2016

Funny Hospital Jokes,Mental Patient Humor,One Liners,Quotes,Pictures And Much More To Laugh

A guy in a mental hospital, placed two stones in his ears ..

The doctor asked him,
"What are you doing?"

he replied,
"I'm listening to ROCK music!"

Thursday, 14 April 2016

Funny Jokes On MTV Roadies,Comedy Auditions,Pictures+Hilarious Stuff

roadies jokes

Rajinikanth got selected in Roadies...

Next day during vote-out,

RAJINIKANTH: I'm sorry Rannvijay,Neha,Karan & Prince, apka Roadies ka safar yahi khatam hota hai..

Comedy Water Puns,One Liners,Quotes,Stories,Sayings,Slogans,Pictures

vodka + water = injures kidney

rum + water = injures liver

whiskey + water = injures heart

gin + water = injures brain .

I think there is something wrong in water !

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Funny Examination Jokes,Answers,Quotes,One Liners And Hilarious Pictures

Funny Exam Fail Joke

Pappu English exam me
Fail ho gaya translation
ki wajah
se....
.
1.Me ek Aam admi hu
...
-I am a mango man
.
2.Mujhe English ati he
-English comes to me
.
3.Me haripur hazara se
hu
-I belong to Green pur
Thousanda
.
4.Sadak par goliyan chal
rahi he
-Tablets are walking on
the
road...:)°.
.
Hahaha ab pta chla sala
papu pas kyu ni
hota...

Hilarious Zombies Jokes,One Liners,Stories,Pictures+More Funny Stuff

Q: How are zombies like computers?
A: They use megaBITES!...

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

Funny ATM Jokes,Pictures,Comedy Situations You Should Not Miss!

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM...??
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away

How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start the car
16. Then Stop the car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release hand brake. .
25. Drive on...!!!

Monday, 11 April 2016

7 Funny Mobile Phone Jokes,One Liners,Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

funny mobile phone jokes

Wife: Can I borrow your mobile phone for a second please.

Husband: No problem at all, let me just text this important message to my boss.


- Delete video
- Delete picture
- Delete inbox
- Delete sent items
- Delete
- Delete
- Delete
- Delete
- Delete
- Delete
- Delete
- Delete
- Delete
FORMAT MEMORY CARD

Husband: Here you go, I have nothing to hide...

Sunday, 10 April 2016

Funny Traffic & Traffic Police Jokes,One Liners,Quotes,Pictures And Lots More

A teacher broke traffic signal
.
.
Police officer arrest her
.
Teacher please let me go "I am a teacher"
.
.
.
.
.
Police officer "oh ho i have waited this moment whole year"
Now write 10000 times that
"I WILL NEVER BREAK TRAFFIC SIGNAL AGAIN"

Now That's we call a true revenge hahaha :P

Saturday, 9 April 2016

Funny Jokes On Life+Hilarious One Liners,Quotes,Stories,Pictures And Lot More Humorous Stuff

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, sir," the clerk replied.
"That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."...

Hilarious Revenge Jokes,Quotes,Sayings,Stories,Pictures,One Liners And Much More

HILARIOUS REVENGE JOKE-

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.

But then the wife suddenly stops and says "I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me." "WHAT!?" says her husband. The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it...

Friday, 8 April 2016

Funny IPL Jokes,Pictures,One Liners,Quotes

Here Is The Collection Of Hilarious IPL Jokes,Funny One Liners,Humorous Pictures,Quotes 

For IPL Lovers:-
Exam ko kabhi yad na karna
Answr sheet me jo likna hai uski friyad na krna

Jo hoga wo hokar rahega
Us fiker me apna IPL barbad mat krna..!

Monday, 4 April 2016

Collection Of Funny Dialogues From Bollywood Movies

A Funny Dialogue From Bollywood Movie "Bol Bacchan"

Hindi : Abhishek jab bade baat kar rahe hain toh beech main tokka nahi karte

Vinglish : "When Elder Get Cosy, Younger Don't Put Nosy"

Sunday, 3 April 2016

Funny Bollywood Jokes,One Liners,And Much More Hilarious Things

Bimari - Bollywood style
1. Jiya Jale jaan jale, Raat bhar dhuan chale : FEVER

2. Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi : HEART ATTACK

3. Juda hoke bhi tu mujhme kanhi baaki hai: CONSTIPATION

4. Bidi jalayile jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag hai: ACIDITY

5. Tujhme rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karoon : CATARACT

6.Tujhe yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna : ALZEIMERS

7. Mann dole mera tann dole : VERTIGO..

8. Chhoop gaye sare nazare O A kya baat ho gayee : POOR EYE VISION

9. Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha hai..... HIGH BP

10. Panchhi banu oodti firoon.............LOOSING WEIGHT

11. Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen per nahin padte mere........CORN ON FEET

12. Haay re haay Neend nahin aaye....... INSOMNIA

13. Jiya bekaraar hai.............PILES...

Saturday, 2 April 2016

Funny Chicken Jokes,One Liners,Quotes,Riddles

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!...

Friday, 1 April 2016

Funny Queen Elizabeth Jokes,Quotes,Pictures,Memes

Funny Queen Elizabeth Jokes

President Obama to the Queen:

"Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?

Mr.Bean Funny Jokes,Pictures,Stories And Much More You Should Not Miss!

Mr. Bean v/s Einstein:

Einstein & Mr.Bean sitting next to each other on a long flight..

Einstein says, Let's play a game..

I will ask you a question,
if you don't know the answer,
you pay me only $5 and if I don't know the answer,
I will pay you $500..