Funny Advice Jokes,Quotes,Sayings & All Hilarious Content Regarding It For You

advice jokes

Advice to all the girls

Do not play with Street dogs, u may get rabies And..

Do not play with
Smart boys, you may get babies


Funny Advice Jokes

Why Engineers Shouldn't Write an Advice Column -

Dear John,

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back home to get my husband's help. 

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with our neighbor's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counseling, and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?


Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. 

If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

Wife: Come help me with the garden.
Husband: What do u think I am? A gardener?

W: Come fix the toilet faucet.
H: What do u think I am? A plumber?
W: Come fix the door handle. 

H: What do u think I am? A carpenter? The husband went out... But when he came

he saw that everything was fixed... The garden,toilet faucet and the door handle. He
asked his wife who had done it? 

The wife said its the neighbour's son, but he gave me
2 options... Either to make him a burger or have sex with him...

Husband: I'm sure, u gave him a burger!
Wife: What do u think I am? McDonalds?

Doctor's Funny Advice

Sex techniques during Pregnancy Man asks his doctor, "Can I have sex with my pregnant wife?"
The doctor replied: "Yes. The first 3 months will be just like normal.

The next three months you should do it d doggy way,
and the last three months you should do it like tiger."

The man replied:
"Tiger? I don't know that method."

The doctor explains :
"Like Tiger Woods; Sleep with other women."

A Humorous Advice Message 

Alphabetic advice for you
¤ A B C
Avoid Boring Company..
¤ D E F
Don't Entertain Fools..
¤ G H I
Go for High Ideas .
¤ J K L M
Just Keep a friend like ME..
¤ N O P
Never Overlook the Poor n
¤ Q R S
Quit Reacting to Silly tales..
¤ T U V
Tune Urself for ur Victory..
¤ W X Y Z
We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

Funny Wedding Advice Jokes


You want her to love you without money...
Can u love her without sex?

He said money is not love.
Please ask him if "sex is love."

If a girl can love u without money,
be ready to love her without sex.

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for @nal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"

She said that she did.

He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no.

The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice @nal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified.

She asked, "You can get pregnant from @nal sex?"

The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
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