Monday, 8 February 2016

60+ Hilarious Non Veg Adult Dirty 18+ Restricted Sexy Jokes In Hindi

Non Veg Jokes In Hindi


Maine ek din group me Non Veg Joke post kiya
.
ek ladki ne comment kiya:"samajh me nahi aaya joke"

ek Ladke ne us ladki ko reply diya


Ladka:"samajh me nahi aaya to"POGO" dekh.

after 3 days, ladki ka fir reply aaya
.
Ladki:"yaar 3 din se POGO dekh rahi hu, par joke abi tak samajh me nahi aaya :D

very funny non veg jokes

Friends This Is Really The Cutest Non Veg Joke I Ever Heard
A Cow Said To Her Milkman Politely
“Bas Karo Naaa, Ghar Par Biwi Nahi Hai Kya?"
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funny non veg shayari

Boy- Humey toh apno ne luta, gairon me kaha dum tha,.
Meri kashti thi dubi waha, jaha pani kam tha...

Girl- Tum to ho hi [email protected],
tumhari [email protected] mein kaha dum tha.
Waha kya apni maa [email protected] gaye the...
jaha pani kam tha...
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Ladkiyo ki ek khaas baat...

Pogo aur non veg joke padti pura hai par like aur comment nahi karti.

funny non veg jokes______________________________________________________________

Abba Ke Daur Se Ek dafa ek Badshah ne khushi mein sab kaidi
riha kar diye.
Un kaidiyon mein badshah ne ek bahut hi buzurg kaidi ko deka.. Badshah: Tum kabse kaid mein ho?
Buzurg: Aap ke abba ke daur se.

Yeh sun ke Badshah ki aankhon mein aansu aa gaye aur kaha
.
.
.
Isko dobara kaid mein daal do, yeh abba ki nishani hai.
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Wife: kisse baat kar rahe ho itni choti aawaz me.?
Husband : Behan se.
Wife : To phir itni dhimi awaaz me kis liye?
Husband : Teri hai, Is liye.
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Naari Samman Sewa Uncle: What do you do son...?
Boy: Naari samman sewa ke liye kaam karta hoon
Uncle: Achcha to social worker ho
Son: No uncle, Facebook par ladkiyon ki photo like karta hoon.
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Lambe Baal Ka Fashion

Mom: "Beta tu baal kyun nahi katwata"?
Son: "Tum samajhti nahi ho, yeh fashion hai maa" 
Mom: "Arre idiot...! Ladke wale teri behan ko dekhne aaye the aur tujhe pasand kar gaye hain.
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santa banta non veg jokes

Santa Banta Swimming Pool Me Naha Rahe the.
Santa Dubne Laga, to us ne Banta Ki Lulli Pakad Li.
Banta: Bh0sdike Tairna Seekh,
Ladki K sath Hota to dub Jata!
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non veg sms messages

Doctor : I am sorry. Operation k waqt Rubber ke Gloves aapke pet me reh gaye.
dobara opration karna hoga.


Santa : abey, pagal he kya?ye le 20 rupaye naya le le.

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Wife ke body me wo konsi cheez hai.. jise wo dabane nahi deti aur..
husband din-raat dabana chahta hai?
Socho..


Uska GALA har joke non veg nahi hota yaar.
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Salim: Anarkali, CAN I HAVE S*X WITH U?

Anarkali: Apne Bahut Badi Cheez Maang Li Jahanpanah !

Salim: Agar "Woh" Cheez Bahut Badi Ho Chuki Ho,
Toh Phir Rehne Hi Do!!!

JOKE AAYA KYA SAMAJH MAIN?
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non veg sms in hindi

Fauji’s wife daily sends her nude photo with both legs wide open …“Janu, I’ll wait like this till you come!”


Fauji: Wo to theek hai, par photo kaun kheench raha hai??
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double meaning jokes

Banta road se gujar raha tha,Achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya, Or phir jor se chillaya….Kamineee…Potty bhi aise karte hain jaise "Samosa" pada ho !
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Ek Din Ek Nokrani Ko Ghar Ki Safaai Karte Waqt Condom Mila, Toh Vo Condom Maalkin Ko Dikhate Hue Boli.

Ye Kya Hai Bibi Ji?

Maalkin: Kyun Tere Gaon Mein Log Sex Nahi Karte Hai Kya?


Bai: Karte To Hai Par Itne Zor Zor Se Bhi Nahi Karte Ki Khaal Hi Utar Jaye.
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hindi non veg jokes

Madam: English mein kamar ko waist kyun kehtey hain..??

Brilliant Santa: Kaam ki chiz toh uskey upar aur neechey hoti hai…Beech mein kamar toh waste hi hoti hai na.
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Nokia Condoms – Connecting People
Mrf Condoms – Extra Rubber Extra Mileage
Moov Condoms – Aah Se Ahaa Tak

Dunlop Condoms – Extra Wide Extra Grip
Mirinda Condoms – Zor Ka Jhatka Dhere Se Laghe
Air India Condom – The Maharaja Condom

Panama Condoms – Nothing Between You And Me
Duracell Condoms – Longer Lasting
Gadgil Condoms – Environment Friendly

Hero Honda Condom – Fill It, Shut It, Forget It
Mrf Zigma Condoms – Space Age Condoms
Lux Condoms – Filmi Sitaron Ki Pasand

Kelvinator Condom – Its The Coolest One
Bajaj Condoms – Buland Bharat Ki Buland Tasveer
Four Square Condom – Live Life King Size

Videocon Condoms – Bring Home The Leader
Philps Condoms – Lets Make Things Better
Onida Condoms – Neighbours Envy, Owners Pride

Pepsi Condoms – Yehi Hai Right Choice Baby ….Aaaha
Thums Up Condoms – Taste The Thunder
Coca-Cola Condoms – Eat Condom, Sleep Condom Wear Only Coca-Cola Condoms

Ariel Condoms – Dhundate Reh Jaaoge
Rotomac Condoms – Sab Kuch Dikhta Hai
Wills Condoms – Made For Each Other

Servo Condoms – Use Servo, Add Life
Ceat Condoms – Born Tough
Amul Condom – A Gift For Someone You Love

Bpl Condoms – Beleive In The Best
Nike Condoms – Just Do It

Siemens Condoms – Communication Unlimited
Visa Condoms – Go Get It

Bagpiper Condoms – Khub Jamegi Masti Jab Mil Baithenge Teen Yaar,Main, Aap Aur Begpiper Condom
Polo Condoms – A Condom With A Hole
Colgate Condoms – Maa-Maa Mere Condom Me Ched Hai
Cadburry Condom – Asli Swad Jindagi Ka

Prestige Cooker Condom – Jo Biwi Se Kare Pyaar Woh Condom Se Kaise Kare Inkaar
Wills Condoms – Official Sponsor For Indian Cricket Team

Mint-O – Condoms – The Whole Condom
Sony Condoms – Its A Condom
Surf Condom – Bhala Uska Condom Mere Condom Se Gila Kaise.
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Santa Ek Khubsurat Ladki Se
Santa: “Chalo Sex Karte Hain”
Ladki: “Sorry I Am A Lesbian”
Santa: “Lesbian?? Ye Kya Hota Hai”
Ladki: “Matlab Main Bas Ladkio K Saath Sex Karti Hoon”
Santa: “De Taali!! I Am Lesbian Too, Main Bhi Sirf Ladkiyo Se Hi Sex Karta Hun “
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hilarious sexy jokes for adults 18+

Girl: Papa, Bhaiya Ne Aapko Gaali Di, BETICH0D.
Father: Aane De Saale Ko Uski Behen Ch0d Dungaa. 
Girl: Chalo Papa Rehne Do, Dono Taraf Se [email protected] To Meri Hi Hogi.
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Ek Lady Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Aur Apni Kamij Aur Fir Bra Utar Ke Uske Saamne Beth Gayi
Doctor Ne Ye Dekha Aur Gusse Se Bola
Dr. “Ye Kya Badtameezi Hai, Main Dentist Hu”
Lady: “Haan Haan Mujhe Pata Hai.. Main Bhi Daant Hi Nikalwane Aayi Hu, Nipple Mein Fasa Hai !
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Sex kya hai;
Sex ek kala hai, Jo kare uska bhala hai
Sex ek bhavna hai, jisko pura kurne ki sabki kaamna hai
Sex do atmaon kaa milan hai, sadiyo se jiska chalan hai
Sex maja hai, Jo na kare uska jeevan ek saza hai
Sex bhakti hai, jisme subki mukti hai Sex ek jaap hai, jisko na jupna mahapaap hai
Sex amrut hai, poora jeevan jisse trupt hai.
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funny dirty vulgar jokes for adults

santa ke upar adalat mein ek case chal raha tha...

Judge : tumne lady police officer ko apna hathiyar kyu pakdaya?

Santa rote huye : Judge sahab meri koyi galti nahi hai, ye mere ko boli kaam karvana hai to pehele mutthi garam karo, so maine kardi.
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non veg jokes in hindi language

Father & Son Went To Medical Store.
Father Buy A Pack Of Condoms.
Son- What’s This
Father- Its Medicine For Killing Rats.
Son- Oh Bhench0d.! Ch*t Me Bhi Chuhe!
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Dudh aur Ladki me kya fark hai!!
Socho

Socho
Dudh garam hota hai to
Mallai uppar aati hai...
or ladki garam ho
to mallai niche aati hai.
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pati patni ko sex karna tha .. Unhone unke 5 saal ke bete ko bola
" beta balcony me khade ho jaa aur coloney me kya chal raha hai wo dek ke batata reh"
Beta shru ho gaya -
"sharma ji subji laa rahe hai,
verma ji scooter start kar rahe hai,
bacche cricket khel rahe hai,
shukla ji unki dukan sambhal rahe hai,
pintu ki maa c+ud rahi hai.."
Baap: " tujhe kaise pata..?"
Beta: " wo bi balcony me khada hai "
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Yeh ladkiya bhi ajib hoti hai
Baat-baat mein toofan utha leti hai, kuch na karo to muh fula leti hai, kuch karo to pet fulaleti hai.
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Ladka-Ladki Car Mein Raat Ko Ghumne Jaa Rahe The Ladki: “Aaj Main Tumhe Wo Jagah Dikhaungi, Jahaan Se Mera Doodh Aata Hai”

Ladka Ye Sunkar Bahut Khush Hua Aur Tharaki Andaaz Mein Bola. Ladka: “Haan-Haan Jaldi Dikhao, Jaanu”

 Ladki Muskurati Hue Boli: “ Wo Dekho Krishna Dairy“
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non veg msg for boyfriend

Lover: Darling Tum Chaddi kyon nahi pahenti?
Lady: Mere husband ko maine VACHAN de rakha hai ki,
usske alawa kisi ke bhi samne Chaddi nahi utaarungi.
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Pappu ki gf doc k paas gayi aur boli: meri c+ut me mobile chala gaya hai aur char din se vibration mode me hai..
Doc: achchha mai ise nikaal deta hu..
Ladki: Nikalwana nahi hai
Only battety charge karwana hai.
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Santa Ki Wife Tours & Travels Magazine Padhte Hue Boli.

Wife: “Is Baar 2nd Honeymoon Ke Liye Greece Try Karen”

Santa: “Kyo? Sarson Ke Tel Mein Kya Kharabi Hai“
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Sexy voice of a female customer care executive:
"Hindi Ke Liye Ek Dabayen;
English ke Liye Do Dabayen."
Santa: Sala Ye To Hindi Walon Ke Saath Na Insaafi Hai!
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A child on juice corner-
Papaji koi aisi Machine nahi hai Jisme Juice dalo to Fal nikle?
Father- Hai,
Teri Mummy.
Usme maine Juice dala to Tu nikal aaya.
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Hathi bola Chiti se: Puri Dharti par mere jitna saktiman aur budhdhiman prani koi nahi.

Chiti (Apni chaddi utari):
Le bh0sdi k to meri [email protected] Maar ke Bata.
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Pati Patni S*x Kar Rahe Thhe, Pati Ko Kaafi Josh Chada Hua Thha,
Patni: Zara Dheere Karo Kyu Rajhdhani Express Chala Rahe Ho?
Itne Mein Unka Beta Bed Se Nichhe Gir Gaya Aur Bola
Jo Marji Chalao Par Passangers Ko To Niche Mat Girao.
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Ek Bande Ki Suhagraat Thi, Vo Bade Aaram Se Sex Kar Raha Thha,
Par Uski Wife Jor Jor Se Cheekh Rahi Thhi,
Banda Hairan Hua Aur Usne Puchha.
Tum Itna Cheekh Kyun Rahi Ho?

Wife:Bahar Tere Dost Khade Hai, C+utiye Teri Izzat Rakh Rahi Hoon.
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Shadi Hui, Khub Mithaai Bati;
Pehla Bachcha Hua, Khub Mithaai Bati;
Dusra Bachcha Hua, Phir Mithai Bati;
5 Saal Baad, Bachchon Ka School Admission Karwane Gaya, Donation 2 Lac+ Fees 1,50,000;
Aadmi Ghar Aakar Khub Roya Toh Biwi Boli: Janu Meri Phati Toh Khub Mithaai Baati, Khud Ki Phati Toh Rona Aa Gaya?
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Hindustan chahe chaand pe pohoch gaya ho, par fir bhi bluetooth ka naam "virus found" aur "no device found" rakhne waale c+utiye har kahi taadad me mil jaenge.
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me after eating food* Waiter : sir or kuch khana pasand karenge???
Me : checks wallet
Wallet : gaali kha le
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Ladka Aur Ladki Jab First Meeting Karte Hai Unki Soch Ek Dusre Ke Liye Kya Hoti Hai.

Girl: “Kitna Sidha-Sadha Aur Bhola Ladka Hai”
Boy: “Kitni Sexy Bandi Hai, Ball To Dekh Sali Ke”

Girl: “Kitna Nice Behaviour Hai”
Boy: “[email protected] To Mast Hai [email protected] Khada Ho Gaya”

Girl: “Dressing Style Bhi Zabardast Hai”
Boy: “Skirt Todi Aur Choti Hoti To L*nd Khade Khade Ander Dal Deta”

Girl: “Agar Razi Ho Gaya To Isi Se Shadi Karungi”
Boy: “Bas Ek Bar Razi Ho Jaye, Ch0d Ch0d Ke Tasalli Bitha Dunga.
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She : how m i looking?
Me : nice.
She : sach sach batao na.
Me : khada hogaya mera.
*blocked*
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Suhag Raat Pe Dulhe Ne Dulhan Ki Ankh Ko Chuma.
Dulhan - Ye Kya?
Dulha - Ankh Zindgi Ki Kitab Hai
Dulhan - Niche Library Me Aag Lagi Hae, Tu Kitaab Me Ghusa Hai .
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Salim Aur Anarkali Ke Pyar Ka Kissa Bada Mashoor Hai,
Ek Bar Dono Apas Mein Bat Kar Rahe Thhe.
Salim: “Jaaneman Tere Kadmo Mein Rakh Dunga Saara Khazana”
Anarkali Ko Sex Ki Iccha Sata Rahi Thhi,
Sunke Boli.
Anarkali: “Maa [email protected] Gaya Tera Khazana, Andar Daal Aur Chal Shuru Kar Dabaana.
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Chota kid apni pant kholkr Gf se-tere pas h kya aisa wala?

Ldki-apni skirt kholi aur muskurte hue kaha Maa ne kaha h aisa wala h to waisa wala boht milega.
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Sharma ji ki party me dinner karte hue Verma ji ke pas
Mrs Sharma akar boli:Bhaisaab,apne to kuch liya hi nahi!" Or 1 chicken ka leg-piece utha ke unki plate mein rakh diya.
Party khatam hone par Sharma ji ne Verma ji se puchha:
"Khana kaisa tha?"
Verma Ji: Dishes to sabhi badiya thi, par end mein bhabhi ji ne jo taang utha ke di, maza aa gaya!
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Sunny Leone Coming In Kbc 5.
Amithab Asks Her,
"Which One Is Ur Favourite Round?"
She Said-
"Fastest Finger First"
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Suhagrat Ko Pati Ne Puchha,
"Tumne Shaadi Se Pehle
Kitni Baar SEX Kiya Hai?.."

Wife Ne 1 Lifafa Diya Jisme
Chawal K Kuch Daaney Aur 200Rs/- The.
Pati- Ye Kya?

Wife - Main Jab Bhi SEX Karti Thi
To 1 Chawal Isme Daal Deti Thi.
Pati-(Daaney Gin K) Bus 7 Baar?
Aur Ye 200 Rs Kyun?

Wife-4 Kilo Chawal Beche The
Ye Uske Paise Hain.
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Ladka ladki ke baap se : Main aapki ladki ka haath mangta hoon.

Ladki ka baap : Kuyn.
Ladka : Kyon ki ab mera hath thak gaya hai.
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Usne utari saree
fir aayi peticoat ki bari

blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
ziyadah excited mat ho yaar

yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar.
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20 Rupaye school me tiffin khane kaam aata hai
College me recharge karwane k kaam aata hai

Aur shaddi k baad 20 rupaye CONDOM khareed ne kaam aate hai.
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santa roz biwi ko sex karne ke waqt bolte the, santa:aur tight kar,aur tight kar,,aache se tight kar.......

Biwi tang aa kar ekdin gusse se boli-:Bhosdi ke baahar jaa ke ganne ke machine main daal de..tight v hoga aur jada juice bhi nijal aye ga.

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Shop pe Ladki ne 36 ki Bra li or trial room me kameez uttar ke dukandar ko andr bulaya.

Dukandar ne Boobs dekh ke chusna shuru kar diye jin pe behoshi ki dawa lagi hui thi, Wo behosh ho gaya.

Ladki ne shop ka tamam Cash liya & jate hue shishe pe likh gai:


Khula Dudh Sehat ke lie Hanikarak Hai !
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Ekbar ek ladki ne ek new bra kharidi thi...to agle din usne college me sabko apni top utha ke dikha rahi thi..sab wah wah keh rahe the woh dekh kar...saam ko ghar aake ladki dekhi ki wo bra ghar pe hi pari thi.
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ek bandar ped par baetha tha..
aur
necha ek couple *ex kar raha tha.,.

bandar ne unko dekha..aur hayran ho ke sochne laga..--
BANDAR:kya mast kela hai,ladki ke itne khane ki bad bhi khatam nehi ho raha...!
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banta ne naya mobile liya to usne dosto ko khub sare sms kiya..
agle din usko santa mila aur gusse se bola ,,

SANTA:oye tune to kal sms pe sms bhej ke meri [email protected] hi faad di.,
BANTA:oh,sory yaar mujhe nahe pata tha ki tu mobile waha pe rakha hay.
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Guy- I Love u.

Gal : Are you mad .....I m Married. I have a Husband.....
......I have a Boy friend in my office and my ex boyfriend is still my neighbour....My boss proposed to me yesterday and i cant say NO to him....
& have one Serious Extra Marital Affair.....

Guy (after a longggggggg pause)-
"Pls Dekhle yaar...agar main bhi kahin adjust ho jau.
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What is the similarity between burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend?

In both cases boy thinks, “Ek minute pehle nikal liya hota to kitna achcha hota” :D :D
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Ladki Ki T-Shirt Par Bane Billi(Cat) Ke Design ko Ek Ladka Badi Der Se Ghoor Raha Tha.
Ladki Ne Poochha : Kabhi Billi Nahi Dekhi Kya?
Ladka : Billi To Dekhi Hai,
Par
Dudh ki Rakhwali Karte Hue Pehli Baar Dekh
Raha hooo
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Ek Ladke ko police ne pakda
Police-License hai?
Ladka-No.
Police-Paise hai?
Ladka-No.

Police ne ladke ke underwear me haath daala aur do baal khich liye..:]xx

Ladka(ansu nikalte hue)-Aisa kyun kiya?

Police-Taake tum yeh na keh sako ki, maine signal toda aur havaldar mera jhaat bhi nahi ukhad saka!=D
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