Friday, 30 June 2017

Hilarious GST Jokes,GST Funny Quotes,Fullforms,Trolls,Pictures 😁

GST ! Yeah ... So hot topic now a days. Whole India is having a talk about it.Some are worried, Some are excited.But my duty is to make you people laugh , So I'm here to share some of the funniest GST jokes,GST funny quotes,funny GST fullforms,shayari & all humorous stuff related to GST.

gst jokes


kisi vyapari ne rahul gandhi se pucha... GST kya hai ?
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woh bola -
Goodnight , SweetDreams , Takecare.
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On a lighter Note,

GST is lot like a wife :

- you've to report everything you do,

- Will keep you busy & Won't let you do any other stuff apart from herself,

- You've to remember dates, failure of which will lead you into problems,

- You had many girlfriends previously like VAT, Service Tax, Excise. Now you've to deal with only 1 - GST
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Lord Krishna's Advice to Arjun in Mahabharat
Quote:
"My dear Partha,
Change is the rule of this world!

What we called as Sales Tax till yesterday became VAT today and will be called as GST from tomorrow
There is no need to cry since you haven't lost anything!
Whatever you got,you got it from your customer!

Whatever you earned you gave it to the govt and whatever left out you gave it to your wife!
You never had anything of your own nor are you going to have anything in future!
Then why be worried or afraid of GST"
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Please do not send any GST related jokes, mobile battery automatically goes down by 28%.
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Only way BJP can pass GST bill in this session is..
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by renaming it RGST(Rajiv Gandhi Service Tax).
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Please do not send any GST related jokes, mobile battery automatically goes down by 28%.
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Latest Good news...

GST will be 0% on Your smile...!

So keep smiling always...!!
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A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for
weeks, but nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA, they decided to forward
it to the President of India as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy,
and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs...20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,
which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan(President House) in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax
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Sunday, 25 June 2017

Funny 911 Jokes,911 Prank Calls With Images,Conversation


funny 911 jokes

Humorous 911 jokes with funny conversations,pranks,pictures,quotes and lot more 


Boy: ( calls 911 ) hello 911 i need your help!
911: alright what is it?
Boy: 2 girls are fighting over me!
911: -.- so whats the problem about that?
Boy: the ugly one is winning.


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A guy calls 911 in panic.

Guy - "My wife is having a baby ! Her contractions are only one minute apart !

911 Operator - Calm Down. Is this her first child ?

Guy - No you idiot , this is her husband

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Funny(Real) 911 Calls
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering...does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?

Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is...
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

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Tuesday, 20 June 2017

12+ Funny Biker Jokes,Motorcycle Humor With One Liners+Quotes & Sayings

Funny Collections Of Bikers Jokes, Pick Up Lines , Images, Puns On Bikes - Bikers Will Surely Love 

biker jokes motorcycle humor

Some of the hilarious
A biker stops at a young girl who's just about to jump off a bridge..
He asks her: do you mind giving me the final kiss before u jump? She quietly accepted and gave him one of the deepest kiss ever...

When she's finished, the man said "wow! That is the best kiss i ever had! That's a real talent your wasting! So, why are u committing a suicide?"
she replied: my parents dont like me dressing up like a girl.
By the way my name is John!...
Hahaha eeewwwww
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Two fleas are sitting on the beach in Daytona. It's the middle of February. One flea has this bad cold, he's sneezing, sniffling, and carrying on.

The fleas introduce themselves and the other flea asks the first how he got such an awful cold.
The first flea says "Oh it was terrible, I rode down here on the mustache of a guy riding a motorcycle. It was cold, wet and windy. Then it started raining and I got this damn cold."

The other flea says "That's a rough way to get here, you should do what I do. I go to the airport, find the stewardess lounge, go in the bathroom and hop on a stewardess. It's a quick and comfortable way to travel.

One year later, same beach, same two fleas. The same flea has the same bad cold. He's sneezing, sniffling, and carrying on.
The other flea says to him "Didn't I meet you here last year and you had that same awful cold?"
The first flea says "Yeah, that was me and I did just what you said. I went to the airport, found the stewardess lounge, went to the bathroom and jumped on this beautiful stewardess. She was so nice and warm and soft that I fell asleep and when I woke up ... I was on the mustache of a guy riding a motorcycle!"
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Funny Bikers Quotes

A guy riding a honda pulls up to a toll booth. The attendant says, "Two dollars." The guy on the honda says, "SOLD!"
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harley davidson one liners


What do you call a guy riding a honda next too a harley. He is called a hardley.
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A duded-up city rider walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis, SD. He sits at the bar and notices a grizzled old biker with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the newby rider bravely asks the old biker, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'

The old veteran of a thousand rides slowly turns his head toward the young pup and says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'

Eagerly, the guy wearing the shiny new leather fashions reaches over and slides the bowl into his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfed up the chili back into the bowl.
The old biker quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
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A biker wearing all his leathers, chain wallet and tall boots is sitting at the bar.
A cute girl walks in and sits next to him and says “are you are real biker?”
He said “well, I build what I ride, I ride over 25,000 miles a year and am not afraid to wrench it when it needs it, I guess that makes me a real biker. He said, “would you like a ride?”

She said, “I don't ride with guys, I am a lesbian.”
He said, “How do you know you are a lesbian”?
She said “When I wake up, I think about women, when I go to the park, I think about women, when I go to sleep I am thinking about women.”

After finishing her drink she left. Soon after, a couple walks in and sits down next to him and asks “are you a real biker?”
He said, “I used to think I was, but now I think I am a lesbian.”
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A nasty old biker named "TAZ" walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. 

I said I want to open a damn checking account now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to the window and the manager asks the old biker, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 50 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see", says the manager, "and is this b!tch giving you a hard time?"
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A little guy is sitting in a bar staring at his drink for over an hour. A big ugly biker walks up to the bar, takes the little guys drink and gulps it down. Then looks at the little guy as if to say now what you going to do about it. The little guy starts to cry. 

The big guy say's," Ah now I didn't mean to make you cry, I hate to see a man cry." The little guy starts to explain,"I woke up late this morning missed an important meeting, my boss fired me. Went to the parking lot to find somebody stole my car, had no Insurance. Left my wallet in the cab I took home, found my wife in bed with another man, and my dog bit me. I came in here trying to get up the courage to kill myself, and now you went and drank the damn poison."
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harley davidson puns

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
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An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a dirt biker and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight on Sundays and out sliding around corners, "shootin" sand washes and riding up and down the steepest, gnarliest hills I can find at the crack of dawn."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 99 years old and, in fact, he went riding with me this Sunday, and that's why he's still alive... he's a dirt biker."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 117 years old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went dirt bikin' with you this Sunday too?"
The old timer said, "No... Grandpa couldn't go this week because he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Good Lord!!! Why would a 117-year-old guy want to get married?"
The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"
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 A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:

• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?

• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I took it off the dude who owns this bike, along with his dope, both are in the saddle bags.

• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too
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A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" 

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. 
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" 

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. 
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" 
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says, 
"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk.
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Sunday, 11 June 2017

Narendra Modi Funny Jokes,Speeches,Trolls,Cartoons,Shayari & Lot More 😄

narendra modi funny jokes

jabse Narendra Modi "NaMo" bne hai, Rahul Gandhi "RaGa", Sushil Modi bne "SuMo". Jabse netao ke nam ki short form aane lagi hai mere do mitro "Harish Goel" or "Mukesh Tomar" ne rajneeti hi chhod di.
inka to thik hai par "Chobelal Dubey" ne to suicide hi kar liya.


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Modi aur Trump flight se kahi jaa rahe the
Trump : agar mai yaha se ek crore rupees gira doon to ek crore log mujhe dua denge
Modi: agar mai 100 rupees gira doon to 100 crore log mujhe dua denge

Pilot ye dono ki baatein sunn raha tha aur bola
Poilt : agar mai tum dono ko yahan se gira doon to puri duniya mujhe dua degi
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narendra modi foreign trips jokes

Murgi: 120rs/kg
Daal: 120/kg
Modi bharat ke pahle prime minister jinhone 'ghar ki murgi daal barabar' kahawat sach saabit kr di..!!
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Nawaz Sharif: Modi Ji, how can we improve relations.
Modi: By exchange programs. We'll send Mayavati to Pak, you send Hina Rabbani to India."
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Funny Speech Jokes By Narendra Modi

Modi:l- Mitron, ek joke suniye...
Mayawati- sunaiye
Modi- Seats.
Mayawati- I didnt get it.....
Modi- Exactly
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Funny Jokes About Arvind Kejriwal & Narendra Modi

Kejriwal wife: When is modi's birthday?
Kejriwal : 17 september, but why?
*She starts beating him*
Kejriwal : Why are you beating me?
Kejriwal's Wife: Yesterday was my Birthday!!
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There was 1 horse in a room full of donkeys.
Obama, Putin & Modi were called for a competition to find and bring out the horse.
Obama entered the room and came out of the room after 1 hour but empty handed.
Next Putin entered the room and came out of the room after 2 hours but empty handed.
Then our Modi Ji entered the room 

Within 5 minutes picked up the horse.
Times Now-wala Arnab Goswami triumphantly interviewed him and said..
"The nation wants to know how you managed to pull off this incomparable feat..."

Modi replied 
"I entered the room & said
"Achhe Din ane wale hain..."
Then, all the Donkeys started dancing...
"So it was easy to identify the Horse !!!"
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Narendra Modi & Rahul Gandhi Jokes


Once Rahul & Narendra Modi, happen to be lost in a desert,
After days of walking without any water or food, They noticed a Mosque.
Rahul Said 2 Modi- "I will walk in saying that my name is Mohammad & You say that your name is Ahmad,

This way we will get some food. I have done this before too.
We can easily fool them.
Modi- No, i am Hindu Nationalist, I won't change my name, I will stick with my name.
They walked in.

Maulavi asked: Who are you?????
Rahul- My name is Mohammad.
Modi- I am Narendra Damordardas Modi.
Maulavi- Modi ji ko Pani dijiye aur Khana Khilayiye.
Aur Mohammad Miya,
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Aapko Ramzan Mubarak
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If u rearrange the letters "Narendra Modi" you get "Rare Diamond" but If you rearrange the letters "Sonia Gandhi" you get "Doshi Naagin"
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"I don't believe in NASA, ISRO, I want to travel around the world and prove myself that earth is spherical"-Narendra Modi.
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Modi's tour of Bihar completed. PM back on his foregin visit to UK.
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There are two types of countries in this world
   a) Modi visited
   b) Modi not visited.
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 2014:

What does a Gujarati do when America denies him a Visa?
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