Sunday, 24 December 2017

Here Are Witty Bitcoin Jokes To Tease Your Bitcoin Investor Friends

Here are some of the most refreshing bitcoin jokes, bitcoin humor & memes

bitcoin jokes


Colleague: "Had you spent $5000 back when Bitcoin's worth was $100, you'd have 50 Bitcoins. Put all of your money in Bitcoin guy, it is the future"

Cigarette tapri man: "Maalik pichle hafte ka 72 rupaye udhaar bacha hai"

Colleague: "Kal doonga pakka god guarantee"
___________________________________________

Want to Learn about

BITCOIN?

A businessman came to a village to buy monkeys.

He announced he'll purchase the monkeys @ $100 each.

The villagers believed that this guy is mad.

They believed how someone can buy stray monkeys at $100 each?

This information spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and marketed it to the retailer.

After a couple of days, the retailer announced he'll purchase monkeys @ 200 each.

The idle villagers also conducted around to catch the rest of the monkeys!

Then the retailer announced he'll purchase monkeys @ 500 each!

The villagers begin to shed sleep!

The villagers were waiting patiently for another announcement.

Then the retailer announced that he's going home for a week. When he returns, he'll buy reptiles @ 1000 each!

He asked his worker to look after the monkeys he purchased.

Then the worker told them that he'll sell some monkeys @ 700 each covertly.

Since the retailer purchases fighter @ 1000 each, there's a 300 gain for each plane.

The following day, villagers made a queue close to the monkey cage.

The worker sold all of the monkeys at 700 each. The wealthy bought reptiles in large lots. The bad borrowed money from money lenders and also purchased monkeys!

The villagers took good care of the monkeys & waited for the retailer to return.

... Then they ran to the worker...

But he's already left too!

The villagers then realized they've purchased the unworthy stray monkeys @ 700 each and not able to sell them!
The Bitcoin is another monkey business

That' how it'll work
___________________________________________

Friday, 1 December 2017

Funniest Humor About Stock Market & Stockbrokers + Witty Quotes,Stories

Seeking stock market jokes? Here you will get the funniest humor about share market & stockbroker with stories, quotes

stock market stockbroker funny jokes

Stockbroker: What are a million years like to you?
God: Like one second.

Stockbroker: What are a million dollars like to you?
God: Like one penny.

Stockbroker: Could I have a penny?
God: Just a second
___________________________________________________

A brand new investor came to observe a stockbroker.

"Can you inform me just how much you charge?" said the investor.

"Of course," the stockbroker replied, "I usually charge 1000 mBTC per question."

"Well that is a bit steep, isn't it?" Requested that the investor "Yes it is," said the stockbroker, "And what is your 3rd question?
___________________________________________________

The very first rule of investing is not to eliminate money. The principle is not to overlook the first law!

The current market is weird. Every time one man sells, yet another one purchases and they think they are smart.

Sometimes your best investments would be the ones which you do not make.

Profit merely is made after all of your positions are closed.

Money is apparently there, but the pockets change.

Bear Market is a six to eighteen month period once the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband has no sex.

The most effective way to double your money is to fold it and place it in your pocket.
Consistently play with other people's money!
___________________________________________________

BROKER: The person that you trust to assist you to make critical financial decisions. Please note that the first five letters of this word spell "Broke."

BULL: What your stockbroker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the previous quarter.

MARGIN: It is Where you scribble the latest quotes when you are supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION: a kind of trade where, in theory, an individual sells stocks he does not possess. Since this also only ever works in a trick, a short position is what an individual usually ends being in (i.e., "The rent, sir? Hahaha, well, I'm a little short this month.").

COMMISSION: The only safest way to generate money on the stock exchange, which is why your broker charges you one.
___________________________________________________

Once upon a time in a village that a man appeared who declared to the villagers that he'd purchase monkeys to get Rs. 10. 

The villagers seeing that there were monkeys went outside in the woods and began catching them. Tens of thousands were bought by the guy at 10 and as distribution began to diminish, and villagers began to stop their attempt he declared that he'd purchase at 20 rupees. 

The distribution diminished even farther, and people began going back to their farms. The offer speed increased to 25 and also the source of monkeys became that it was an attempt to even find a fighter let alone grab it. 

The man declared that he'd purchase monkeys! But since he needed to go to the city on a small business his assistant would buy on behalf of this guy. 

I will sell them to you at thirty-five, and if the guy comes back, it's possible to sell it to him for 50." 

The villagers squeezed up with each of their savings and bought the monkeys. 

They never watched the man nor his assistant, just monkeys everywhere!
___________________________________________________

I didn't know about the stock exchange until becoming a senior in school. Here is what happened. There was this guy in my dormitory that the entire four decades of college. 

He had been the genius kind with less than perfect eyesight. He had these thick coke-bottle eyeglasses and never went to class, but he always got A. 

Instead of going to class, he sat in his room and studied the stock exchange. He'd stock charts all and even had a computer before you could buy them in a shop! 

Upon reaching my next year, I realized it was time to get serious about making a living, that I would have to head out and earn some money. So I went down to Speak to Ed. "I'll work as hard as I need to. Inform me how I could wind up with one million bucks in the stock exchange."
___________________________________________________

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Funny Knock Knock Jokes ;) Tell Me A Knock Knock Joke

 In this article we collected a lot of Knock-knock jokes.You will die laughing on this knock knock humor😁

knock knock jokes

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? An extraterrestrial. Extraterrestrial who? What – how many extra-terrestrials do you know?

***

 Knock knock. Who's there? Beats. Beats who? Beats me.

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? The interrupting cow. Interrupting cow whMoooooo!

***

Knock knock.
Who’s there? The door .

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Double. Double who? W!

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Iva. Iva who? Iva craving for cookie. Get baking!


***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Yoda lady. Yoda lady who? Good job yodeling!

***

Why did the chicken cross the road? To hunt somebody down. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
 ***

 Knock, knock! Who’s there? Yah! Yah who? Well, no thanks, I’m more of a Google person.

***

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you.

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? The interrupting doctor. The interr… You've got cancer.

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Mark. Mark who? Oh come on, I'm Mark, your… (Mark breaks up crying over the extent of his dad’s Alzheimer .)
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don’t open the door.

***

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No you idiot, cows go mooo!
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there?
Grandpa. Oh my gosh! Somebody open the coffin quick!!!

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? Um, no thanks.

***

Knock Knock! Who's there? Interrupting raven. Interrupt...
CAAWW!!!

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Pavlov. He’d have rung the bell.
 ***

Knock, knock Who's there? Kanga Kanga who? Actually, it’s kangaroo!

***

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Knock. Knock who? Knock Knock.

***

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O

***

Knock knock. Who’s there?
Aaahh. Aaahh who? A big bad wolf, apparently.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me comin’, dey runnin’.

***

Knock knock! Who's there? Hawaii. Hawaii who?
I'm very well, thank you so much, and Hawaii you?
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh who? No seriously, Winnie the Pooh right now, let us in or it lands on your doormat!

***

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Somebody who thinks you should fix your darn doorbell!


***

Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? No, it should always be “to whom”.
 ***

Knock knock. Who's there? Doris. Doris who? The Doris locked, why do you think I'm knocking?

***

Knock knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? Yes! I've always known you were a bit nutty!
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Major. Major who? Major day with this joke, haven’t I?

***

 Knock knock. Who’s there? Mavis. Mavis who? Mavis be a warning to you, watch out of silly jokes!
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Freeze. Freeze who? Freeze a jolly good fellow, freeze a jolly good fellow…

***

 Knock knock! Who's there? I got up. I got up who? Best go to the toilet then.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? You see me, do you need glasses or something?

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Armageddon. Armageddon who? Armageddon a little bored. Let’s go out.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Accordion. Accordion who? Accordion to the scientists, it is healthy to offer your friends money.

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Ira. Ira who? Ira gret I don’t know better jokes.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Ira. Ira who? Ira gret I don’t know better jokes.

***

Knock knock. Who’s there?
Surgeon. Surgeon who? Surgeon thou shalt find.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Barbie. Barbie who? Let’s Barbie Q!

***

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Moustache! Moustache who?
I thought I moustache you a question, but I can shave it for tomorrow.
 ***

Pistachio. Pistachio who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pistachio. Pistachio who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? AND ORANGE YOU HAPPY I DIDN’T SAY PISTACHIO!

***

Knock, knock. Who's there? The judge's hammer . You are hereby sentenced to five years of forced labour .
 ***

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighbourhood, mind if I come in for a chat?

***

 Knock knock. Who’s there? Control freak. Co… You should say “Control freak who” now.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Value. Value who? Value be mine to cherish and to hold?

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Lena. Lena who? Lena bit closer and I will show you.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita little love and understanding.

***

Knock knock. Who’s there?
Maia. Maia who? Maiabilities are too great for such stupid jokes.
 ***

Knock knock. Who's there? Any. Any who? Anybody there?

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Irish.
Irish who? Irish you a nice day.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Ho-ho. Ho-ho who? Um, no, you still need to practice a bit more if you want to be Santa at the mall this year.

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Snow.
Snow who? Snow point pretending you don’t know me.
 ***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good place to eat tonight? My treat!

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Dozen.
Dozen who? Dozen all this knocking bother you already?

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? 9/11. 9/11 who? OMG. You said you will never forget.

***

Knock knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who?
Ben hoping I can come in.

Monday, 24 July 2017

Shravan Month Jokes,Shravan Mahina Comedy Puns With Pictures

shravan month jokes

Height of advertisement - Shravan Mahina Humor

Wife-"Aaj nahi plz, aaj mera vrat hai"

background voice . .

MANFORCE COND0M SABU-DANA FLAVOUR.

Only 4 fasting days, "Ab UPVAAS MEIN BHI BUJHAYE PYAAS.
_____________________________________

Girl- Shravan mahina hai. Aaj main tumhare liye fast karungi
Boy- Darling, isski kya jaroorat hai...room toh tumhara hi hai...slowly slowly karenge.......
Girl - Get out haramkhor
_____________________________________

She: Shravan mein bhi Daaru peete ho , disgusting ..!!
Me: Hum Bhagwan ko Dil mein rakhte hai,Liver mein nahi
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Sunday, 23 July 2017

Funny Jokes About Rappers,Rap Music With Killer Images-Don't Miss This

funny jokes about rappers rap music

Enjoy Best Rap Jokes Here

Eminem- I am Rap God

Chotu at dhaba- DaalmakhaniDaalFryAaloParvalAaloLaukiAaloBainganAaloMatarpaneerShahiPaneerHandiLolRapGodBitchPlz
_________________________________________

"When life gives you Singh , make it Arijit Singh not Honey Singh"
_________________________________________

People with blue eyes now want to donate their eyes

THANK YOU HONEY SING
_________________________________________

Love Dose Rap:-
Honey Singh on phone: Uncle, Hai ghar, hai
paisa hai gadi... 2 jodi me ladki bhejo, ladki
hui humari..

Uncle: hai gun hai talwaar hai aari, dubaara
phone kiya to ma ch*@ denge tumhari..
Honey singh: ok bye
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Funny Rapping Jokes 


Honey singh LOVE DOSE rap new version..
Yo yo

Yeh gandd sa roshan chehra..
jhaato ka rang sunehra..
kaise dekhu tera [email protected]
bh0sde pe jhaato ka pehra...
Iss jhaato ko hata do..
Bhosde ko dikha do..
Bh0sde ke nashile jaam..
[email protected] ko pila do..πŸ˜‹

Lagta hai pehle yaha bahut lund ghuse ya nahi mujhe nahi mallum..
Idhar udhar kya deti..
Girl I am fuck!ng 2 you..
Ab bh0sde se hataya jhaate..
[email protected] ko ghussao ji..

Duniya wale Jo bhi soche..
Humse Hi chudva0 ji..
Ab L#nd ko uthao ji..
Aur [email protected] mei ghusao ji..
Unko bhi future mei chodne wale [email protected] se milao ji..
Hello uncle..

Na masti,chalo kaam ki baat pe aate hai..
Ab aap ye puchoge ki Aap kitna time lagate hai..⌚
Bas jitna aapki ki beti ek mahine mei [email protected] hai..
Ek hafte mei mera [email protected]
Utne shot lagata hai..😎

Hai L#nd..
Hai condom..
Hai jh#ate..
Tum nangi apni ladki bhejo ladki ko hum lagate
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Eminem God of Rap
2pac king of Rap
Lil Wayne prince of Rap
Honey Singh dog of rap oh sorry Crap
_________________________________________


Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.
_________________________________________


What does Snoop Dogg use to wash his clothes?

Bleatch
_________________________________________

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? 


Dr Dre!
_________________________________________

Tupac wrote the book of rap, Eminem finished it, and Lil' Wayne still can't read it.
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Sunday, 9 July 2017

Flipkart Jokes,Trolls,Tweets On Flipkarts,Hilarious Reviews + Pictures

How can we forget our beloved flipkart & their services :) So enjoy some of the hilarious flipkart jokes,tweets,trolls and much more.

flipkart jokes

If flipkart starts matrimonial services....they will become the no 1 matrimony site....
Because they have a 30 day return policy
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Flipkart Vs Amazon Jokes

Interview at Flipkart.

Interviewer : Why should I hire you ?

Candidate : My uncle bought a smartphone from Flipkart. It was used. He returned it and ordered for another one. It was also used. His money was wasted. Then he ordered the same mobile on Amazon. A brand new smartphone came. After 6 months, battery was draining fast. Informed Amazon. Got a replacement of the whole mobile. If you want to change these bad sides of Flipkart, let me in or your other option is to become inferior to Amazon forever.




flipkart vs snapdeal jokes

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Funny Tweets On Flipkart

Flipkart sale playing more hard to get than that ex girlfrnd who suddnly turned hot right aftr u dumped her #bigbillionday @Flipkart — Kushal Thakkar (@i_kushal) October 6, 2014

Year 2020: People buy everything online. Upset mall owners run a #BigBillionDay campaign. Shoppers killing each other. Blood everywhere.
— Akshar (@AksharPathak) October 6, 2014

Kejriwal:I have empirical evidence that all FlipKart,Amazon,Snapdeal,Myntra requests go 2 the same server.Sab mile hue hain. #BigBillionDay — Sixth Sense (@cuck00call1ng) October 6, 2014

Twinkle twinkle Flipkart Can’t find the products in my cart Fed up seeing OUT OF STOCK Is this all some MOCK? #flipkart #BigBillionDay
— THE BACK BENCHERS (@Dbackbenchers) October 6, 2014

So how many people got caught in their offices shopping on flipkart?. #bigbillionday. — Krishna (@Krizanand) October 6, 2014

Flipkart:  EID SPECIAL SALE!! HEAVY DISCOUNTS!! HURRY UP!! Me: Can’t find products  with discounts printed in the ads Flipkart: LOL! Goat you!
— The Bad Doctor (@doctoratlarge) October 6, 2014

Raghuram Rajan lauds Flipkart for doing its bit to fight inflation #BigBillionDay — The UnReal Times (@TheUnRealTimes) October 6, 2014

Xth  board: 404 not found JEE results: 404 not found CAT reslts: 404 not  found Flipkart sale: 404 not found Life is a quest to find 404
— GabbbarSingh (@GabbbarSingh) October 6, 2014

So, Flipkart is giving 44% off on Half Girlfriend. Which of course makes  it just slightly over a Quarter Girlfriend. — Ramesh Srivats  (@rameshsrivats) October 6, 2014

‘Sold out’ is to Flipkart what “Please try again later” is to IRCTC. #BigBillionDay
— Gautam (@gautamverma23) October 6, 2014

Wtf. What kind of math is that! :/ #bigbillionday pic.twitter.com/ao7kycJS34 — Dushyant Rao (@DushyantRaoC) October 6, 2014

Flipkart’s #BigBillionDay – A sale where u cannot buy what u want to buy.! @Flipkart
— Anant Sinha (@AnantSinha67) October 6, 2014
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Friday, 30 June 2017

Hilarious GST Jokes,GST Funny Quotes,Fullforms,Trolls,Pictures 😁

GST ! Yeah ... So hot topic now a days. Whole India is having a talk about it.Some are worried, Some are excited.But my duty is to make you people laugh , So I'm here to share some of the funniest GST jokes,GST funny quotes,funny GST fullforms,shayari & all humorous stuff related to GST.

gst jokes


kisi vyapari ne rahul gandhi se pucha... GST kya hai ?
.
.
.
woh bola -
Goodnight , SweetDreams , Takecare.
___________________________________________

On a lighter Note,

GST is lot like a wife :

- you've to report everything you do,

- Will keep you busy & Won't let you do any other stuff apart from herself,

- You've to remember dates, failure of which will lead you into problems,

- You had many girlfriends previously like VAT, Service Tax, Excise. Now you've to deal with only 1 - GST
___________________________________________

Lord Krishna's Advice to Arjun in Mahabharat
Quote:
"My dear Partha,
Change is the rule of this world!

What we called as Sales Tax till yesterday became VAT today and will be called as GST from tomorrow
There is no need to cry since you haven't lost anything!
Whatever you got,you got it from your customer!

Whatever you earned you gave it to the govt and whatever left out you gave it to your wife!
You never had anything of your own nor are you going to have anything in future!
Then why be worried or afraid of GST"
___________________________________________

Please do not send any GST related jokes, mobile battery automatically goes down by 28%.
___________________________________________

Only way BJP can pass GST bill in this session is..
.
.
by renaming it RGST(Rajiv Gandhi Service Tax).
___________________________________________

Please do not send any GST related jokes, mobile battery automatically goes down by 28%.
___________________________________________

Latest Good news...

GST will be 0% on Your smile...!

So keep smiling always...!!
___________________________________________

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for
weeks, but nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA, they decided to forward
it to the President of India as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.

The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy,
and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs...20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,
which read:

"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan(President House) in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax
___________________________________________

Sunday, 25 June 2017

Funny 911 Jokes,911 Prank Calls With Images,Conversation


funny 911 jokes

Humorous 911 jokes with funny conversations,pranks,pictures,quotes and lot more 


Boy: ( calls 911 ) hello 911 i need your help!
911: alright what is it?
Boy: 2 girls are fighting over me!
911: -.- so whats the problem about that?
Boy: the ugly one is winning.


_________________________________________________



A guy calls 911 in panic.

Guy - "My wife is having a baby ! Her contractions are only one minute apart !

911 Operator - Calm Down. Is this her first child ?

Guy - No you idiot , this is her husband

_________________________________________________



Funny(Real) 911 Calls
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering...does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?

Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner is...
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

_________________________________________________

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

12+ Funny Biker Jokes,Motorcycle Humor With One Liners+Quotes & Sayings

Funny Collections Of Bikers Jokes, Pick Up Lines , Images, Puns On Bikes - Bikers Will Surely Love 

biker jokes motorcycle humor

Some of the hilarious
A biker stops at a young girl who's just about to jump off a bridge..
He asks her: do you mind giving me the final kiss before u jump? She quietly accepted and gave him one of the deepest kiss ever...

When she's finished, the man said "wow! That is the best kiss i ever had! That's a real talent your wasting! So, why are u committing a suicide?"
she replied: my parents dont like me dressing up like a girl.
By the way my name is John!...
Hahaha eeewwwww
_______________________________________________

Two fleas are sitting on the beach in Daytona. It's the middle of February. One flea has this bad cold, he's sneezing, sniffling, and carrying on.

The fleas introduce themselves and the other flea asks the first how he got such an awful cold.
The first flea says "Oh it was terrible, I rode down here on the mustache of a guy riding a motorcycle. It was cold, wet and windy. Then it started raining and I got this damn cold."

The other flea says "That's a rough way to get here, you should do what I do. I go to the airport, find the stewardess lounge, go in the bathroom and hop on a stewardess. It's a quick and comfortable way to travel.

One year later, same beach, same two fleas. The same flea has the same bad cold. He's sneezing, sniffling, and carrying on.
The other flea says to him "Didn't I meet you here last year and you had that same awful cold?"
The first flea says "Yeah, that was me and I did just what you said. I went to the airport, found the stewardess lounge, went to the bathroom and jumped on this beautiful stewardess. She was so nice and warm and soft that I fell asleep and when I woke up ... I was on the mustache of a guy riding a motorcycle!"
_______________________________________________

Funny Bikers Quotes

A guy riding a honda pulls up to a toll booth. The attendant says, "Two dollars." The guy on the honda says, "SOLD!"
_______________________________________________

harley davidson one liners


What do you call a guy riding a honda next too a harley. He is called a hardley.
_______________________________________________

A duded-up city rider walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis, SD. He sits at the bar and notices a grizzled old biker with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the newby rider bravely asks the old biker, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'

The old veteran of a thousand rides slowly turns his head toward the young pup and says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'

Eagerly, the guy wearing the shiny new leather fashions reaches over and slides the bowl into his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfed up the chili back into the bowl.
The old biker quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
_______________________________________________

A biker wearing all his leathers, chain wallet and tall boots is sitting at the bar.
A cute girl walks in and sits next to him and says “are you are real biker?”
He said “well, I build what I ride, I ride over 25,000 miles a year and am not afraid to wrench it when it needs it, I guess that makes me a real biker. He said, “would you like a ride?”

She said, “I don't ride with guys, I am a lesbian.”
He said, “How do you know you are a lesbian”?
She said “When I wake up, I think about women, when I go to the park, I think about women, when I go to sleep I am thinking about women.”

After finishing her drink she left. Soon after, a couple walks in and sits down next to him and asks “are you a real biker?”
He said, “I used to think I was, but now I think I am a lesbian.”
_______________________________________________

A nasty old biker named "TAZ" walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. 

I said I want to open a damn checking account now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to the window and the manager asks the old biker, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 50 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see", says the manager, "and is this b!tch giving you a hard time?"
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A little guy is sitting in a bar staring at his drink for over an hour. A big ugly biker walks up to the bar, takes the little guys drink and gulps it down. Then looks at the little guy as if to say now what you going to do about it. The little guy starts to cry. 

The big guy say's," Ah now I didn't mean to make you cry, I hate to see a man cry." The little guy starts to explain,"I woke up late this morning missed an important meeting, my boss fired me. Went to the parking lot to find somebody stole my car, had no Insurance. Left my wallet in the cab I took home, found my wife in bed with another man, and my dog bit me. I came in here trying to get up the courage to kill myself, and now you went and drank the damn poison."
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harley davidson puns

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
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An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a dirt biker and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight on Sundays and out sliding around corners, "shootin" sand washes and riding up and down the steepest, gnarliest hills I can find at the crack of dawn."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 99 years old and, in fact, he went riding with me this Sunday, and that's why he's still alive... he's a dirt biker."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 117 years old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went dirt bikin' with you this Sunday too?"
The old timer said, "No... Grandpa couldn't go this week because he got married."
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Good Lord!!! Why would a 117-year-old guy want to get married?"
The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"
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 A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:

• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?

• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I took it off the dude who owns this bike, along with his dope, both are in the saddle bags.

• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too
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A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" 

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. 
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" 

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. 
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" 
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says, 
"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk.
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Sunday, 11 June 2017

Narendra Modi Funny Jokes,Speeches,Trolls,Cartoons,Shayari & Lot More πŸ˜„

narendra modi funny jokes

jabse Narendra Modi "NaMo" bne hai, Rahul Gandhi "RaGa", Sushil Modi bne "SuMo". Jabse netao ke nam ki short form aane lagi hai mere do mitro "Harish Goel" or "Mukesh Tomar" ne rajneeti hi chhod di.
inka to thik hai par "Chobelal Dubey" ne to suicide hi kar liya.


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Modi aur Trump flight se kahi jaa rahe the
Trump : agar mai yaha se ek crore rupees gira doon to ek crore log mujhe dua denge
Modi: agar mai 100 rupees gira doon to 100 crore log mujhe dua denge

Pilot ye dono ki baatein sunn raha tha aur bola
Poilt : agar mai tum dono ko yahan se gira doon to puri duniya mujhe dua degi
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narendra modi foreign trips jokes

Murgi: 120rs/kg
Daal: 120/kg
Modi bharat ke pahle prime minister jinhone 'ghar ki murgi daal barabar' kahawat sach saabit kr di..!!
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Nawaz Sharif: Modi Ji, how can we improve relations.
Modi: By exchange programs. We'll send Mayavati to Pak, you send Hina Rabbani to India."
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Funny Speech Jokes By Narendra Modi

Modi:l- Mitron, ek joke suniye...
Mayawati- sunaiye
Modi- Seats.
Mayawati- I didnt get it.....
Modi- Exactly
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Funny Jokes About Arvind Kejriwal & Narendra Modi

Kejriwal wife: When is modi's birthday?
Kejriwal : 17 september, but why?
*She starts beating him*
Kejriwal : Why are you beating me?
Kejriwal's Wife: Yesterday was my Birthday!!
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There was 1 horse in a room full of donkeys.
Obama, Putin & Modi were called for a competition to find and bring out the horse.
Obama entered the room and came out of the room after 1 hour but empty handed.
Next Putin entered the room and came out of the room after 2 hours but empty handed.
Then our Modi Ji entered the room 

Within 5 minutes picked up the horse.
Times Now-wala Arnab Goswami triumphantly interviewed him and said..
"The nation wants to know how you managed to pull off this incomparable feat..."

Modi replied 
"I entered the room & said
"Achhe Din ane wale hain..."
Then, all the Donkeys started dancing...
"So it was easy to identify the Horse !!!"
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Narendra Modi & Rahul Gandhi Jokes


Once Rahul & Narendra Modi, happen to be lost in a desert,
After days of walking without any water or food, They noticed a Mosque.
Rahul Said 2 Modi- "I will walk in saying that my name is Mohammad & You say that your name is Ahmad,

This way we will get some food. I have done this before too.
We can easily fool them.
Modi- No, i am Hindu Nationalist, I won't change my name, I will stick with my name.
They walked in.

Maulavi asked: Who are you?????
Rahul- My name is Mohammad.
Modi- I am Narendra Damordardas Modi.
Maulavi- Modi ji ko Pani dijiye aur Khana Khilayiye.
Aur Mohammad Miya,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aapko Ramzan Mubarak
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If u rearrange the letters "Narendra Modi" you get "Rare Diamond" but If you rearrange the letters "Sonia Gandhi" you get "Doshi Naagin"
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"I don't believe in NASA, ISRO, I want to travel around the world and prove myself that earth is spherical"-Narendra Modi.
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Modi's tour of Bihar completed. PM back on his foregin visit to UK.
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There are two types of countries in this world
   a) Modi visited
   b) Modi not visited.
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 2014:

What does a Gujarati do when America denies him a Visa?
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Sunday, 28 May 2017

Funny Exam Result Jokes,Status,Quotes,Sayings,Shayari & Lot More

Hello Students ! In tension of results? Don't worry , Tapori Baba is here to tell you some funny result puns,hilarious quotes,status,shayari and much more humor related to the exam results.

funny exam result jokes

After Result : PASS

Teacher: arey akhir padhaya kisne tha!

Mom: Sab hanuman ji ki kripa hai

Papa: Arey beta kiska hai

True Friend: wah yaar... chal ek sutta pi ke aate hai..

But of Result : FAIL

Teacher: I knew that, arey class me koi response hi nahi deta tha

Mom: Sab uss mobile ki wajah se hai, bhagwan ne buddhi to di nahi hai

Papa: tumhara hi beta hai, aur laad pyar karo, sar par baithao..

sab badalte hain but

Friend: Koi nahi yaar, chal ek sutta pi ke aate hai πŸ˜€



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Funny Exam Result Quotes

RESULT AA GAYA..
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
. .
Ye 3 Words, Haste Khelte Insaan Ki Ek Pal Mai
Duniya Ujaad Sakte Hain..
Agree ?
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After Result - Girls Reaction :'(
Ladki 1 (Rote Huve) - phir sesirf 91%

Ladki 2 (Bahot Rote huve) - 5baar revise karne k Baad Bhisirf 93% kaisa Aa sakte hai Number

Ladki 3 (Bahot Jada Rote huve) - Mai mummy ko kya Mu Dikhaungi In 92% Number ke saath ,,,

Ladki 4 (Bahot Bahot Jada Rote huve) -
sirf 94%?? kahan kami rahgayi ,, :'(

After Result - Boys Reaction ;)
Boy 1 - Tere bhai ne fod diya is baar..poray 66 % hain..ha ha ha

Boy 2 - Papa to Naach Uthenge Jab Unhe Pata Chalega ki mai pass ho gaya by grace .. hahahahaha

Boy 3 - Wo to sir ne Copy karne di jo 45 % aa gaye ...warna To band bajj gaya tha..hahahahaha

Boy 4 - Main to baal baal bacha .. Border pe pass ho gaya pure 35%aaye hai na 1mark jadana 1 mark kam,
Muje to yakin hi nhi ho raha ki mepass ho gaya,,
paper check karne wala devta tha Devta.. hahaha
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College Campus:

Student 1: Results are out, come we'll go & see

Student 2: I'm with my dad. U see mine & please msg me. If fail in one subject say "Good morning to U" If 2 subjects then say "Good morning to u & ur dad"
Later,

Student 1:
Good morning to u & u r family & neighbours also
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Class 10: "Beta, bas iss saal mehnat kar le phir saari zindagi aaraam karna."
class 11:

"Beta, do saal theek se padhai kar le phir aaram se rehna."

Graduation: "Beta, bus degree achhi tarah puri kar le, phir aaraam rahega."

after graduation:
"Beta, post graduation kar le, phir maze karna."

after post graduation:
"Nalayak, yahan pada aaraam kar raha hai, kaam pe kaun jayega tera baap..
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Dad:result ka kya hua

Son: Dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news

Dad:good news bata.

Son : mai pass ho gya.

Dad : great, aur bad news.

Son:good news galat hai.
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Father:- Tumhare Result Ka Kya Hua?
.
.
.
SoN:- Headmaster Ka Beta Fail Ho Gaya,
.
Father:- Aur Tum?
.
Son:- Doctor Ka Beta Bhi Fail Ho Gaya
.
Father: Aur Tumhara result Kesa Aya?
.
Son:- Wo Vakeel Ka Beta Bhi Fail Ho gaya
.
Father: Kamine me tera Puch Raha Hun??.
.
Son: To Tum Konse Obama Ho..?
Tumhara Beta B Fail Ho gaya..
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[After result]

Me: Lo papa report card pe sign kardo
Dad: Angutha lagane waali ink ki dabbi le ke aana.

Me: Aap to padhe likhe ho fir angutha kyu?
Dad: Tere marks dekhkar teacher ko nahi lagna chahiye ki tera baap padha likha hai..
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funny exam result status

  • Keep Calm & Ratta Maar
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Thursday, 18 May 2017

Funny Nuclear Bomb Puns-Beware Your Device May Explode 😁

funny nuclear bomb jokes

Hello Friends,Here You Will Get Crazy Jokes About Nukes And Humor Relating To Nuclear Bomb

4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb:
1. Wife's Smile
2. Wife's Tear
3. Wife's Looks
& the most dangerous,
4. Wife's Missed Call.!
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The Neighbor's have a nuclear family.
.
Their daughter is a Nuclear Bomb.
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The plane is carrying a nuclear bomb along with an Greek, a Turk, a Russian and an Italian. The pilot comes out and says that the plain is to heavy so the Russian says "I do this for my country" and he jumps off the plane.

The pilot comes out again and says the same thing so the Italian says "I do this for my country" and he jumps off the plane. The pilot comes and says again the same thing so the Greek says "I do this for my country" and pushes the Turk off the plane.
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Rajnikant at crackers shop
.
1 Nuclear bomb dena !
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Instead of Burning a Pataka(crackers) .....
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Date a Pataka...!!!
πŸ’₯
Have an Eco- Friendly Diwali..
Applicable to Bachelors ONLY !!!
Coz Married People already living with Nuclear Bomb
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A Tribute to HILLARIOUS CLINTON Knowledge:
A Woman who never knew that MONICA was in her bed.
But do know that Iran is developing a nuclear bomb.
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india pakistan nuclear war jokes

Real Situation for India- Pak nuclear war! During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.
That was their scenario.

Now India Vs Pakistan Scenario
If there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan. The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.

Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

But they need permission from the Government of India.
They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned and adjourned indefinitely.

The President asks for a quick decision. In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a re- launch are still on.
Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it.

The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed. The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.

A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission. The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM. Fortunately, there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.

In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight. The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission.

But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta Rokos organised. In California ...and .....Washington , endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government, mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fish.

A missile (smuggled by Pakistan from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it therefore hits its original destination: Russia.

Russia successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates havoc. Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits to Pakistan.

Thus India never gets to launch the missile.
Pakistan never gets it right.
And we live happily since!
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Friday, 14 April 2017

China Jokes,One Liners,Made In China Puns,India Vs China Humor & Much More ;)

chinese jokes

In this post, I'm going to share some funny jokes on china,chinese one liners,India China Jokes,Made in china puns and much more πŸ˜€

Santa: Tum Chinese jaisi kyu dikhti ho!
Girl: Mere dad Chinese the.
Santa: Wo kaha hai!
Girl: Mar gaye.
Santa: Oh! Aakhir China ka maal tha, chalta bhi kitna!
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TIPS TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS A CHINA PHONE 
1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging

2. The phone has TV, Torch, Nail cutter,fireligh tr etc.

3. Text message can be written with a toothpick.

4. There are some spelling mistakes e.g NokLa,blackderr y, i-porn, samswag etc. 

5. When an aeroplane passes; it records one missed call.

6. When big truck hoots; it records charger connected.

7. Wen a china man passes u it says one bluetooth device found
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Ek Baar america, china or India ki Police me baat hui ke dekhte hai teeno me sabse Tez kaun hai...???
Uske Baad Ek Khargosh jungle me chora gaya..

America police ne Khargosh ko 2 din me Dhund liya.. Fir China ki Police ne khargosh kodhundne me 1 hafta Laga diya..

Ab India ki Police ki baari aayi Khargosh jungle me chora gaya or Indian Police 2 Mahine tak wapis nai aayi.
Log unko dhundne pahuche to dekha Indian Police bandar ko ulta latka kar buri tarah Peet rahi thi or Bol rai thi Kabool kar saale tu hi khargosh hai.
kabool kar.πŸ˜€
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Man hires a Chinese Private Investigator, Chen Lee, to watch his wife.
A few days later he gets this report : Sir.
I watch house.
You leave house.
He came to house.

He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she go hotel.

I climb tree and look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip.
She strip.

He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
I fall out tree.
I not see.
No fee.

Chen Lee.
Very Sollee
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You're so fake, even China denied that they made you.
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A Chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk at a bar. Spielberg suddenly slapped the Chinese..
Chinese: why?

Spielberg: Because you bombed Pearl Habour! My father died there! 
Chinese: But I'm Chinese, not Japanese.

Spielberg: You fool, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Tiwanese, you are all the same.
Chinese punched Spielberg.
Chinese: That's for sinking Titanic.

Spielberg: But Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, stupid!
Chinese: Iceberg, carlsberg, spielberg, you are all the same!
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5 Chinese Chu, Bu, Hu, Fu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .
In order to get a visathey had to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck
Bu became Buck
Hu became Huck

Fu and Su decided to stay in China
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A Ugandan teacher was sent to China to teach. The first day he entered class, he began by roll-
calling. He said "Sheng."A student said, "Present."

He called the second name, "ChuMuon."Another student said, "Present."
Suddenly, he sneezed,"Hatchia!"One student seated at the corner stood up and said,"Present.
"
He then exclaimed and said,
"hmmmm..."
All the student shouted, "Absent."
He got confused and said, "Shaa..."
Three students stood up and said,
"Which of us?"

The teacher became more confused and he asked, "What is wrong?"
A student stood up and he said,"Sir, I'm not Wrong, I'm called Wong."

The teacher now laughed, "Hahaha!"
A girl said, "Present sir."The teacher came closer to find out what was going on, as he moved
his pen fell on the table and made the sound,
"Ping chung chong!"

A certain boy said, "Present sir."

The teacher now more confused and annoyed, decided to move out.As he was moving out, a group of
around 15 students stood up and shouted, "Teacher, what about us?
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Pastor to Chinese man - Do You Know Jesus?
China-man: Bring Sample I make for you quick quick.


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2 chinese men break into a distillery, one turns to the other and says, is this whisky, the other replies, yes, but not as whisky as wobbing a bank.
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Cjec, Tito and John decided to go to China for vacation. Since they were new to the place they had to stay in a hotel. And their room was on the 60th floor. The policy of the hotel was that at midnight
the elevators were shut down. The next day, the guys rented a car and explored the city. 

They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the hotel after midnight. The elevators were shut down. There was no other way to get to their room but to climb the stairs all the way to the 60th floor. John said,

 ”’for the first 20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going. Then Tito can say wise stories for the next 20 floors and lastly, we will cover the final 20 floors with sad stories from Cjec.” So,John started with jokes.

With laughs and joy, they soon reached the 20th floor. Tito started saying stories full of wisdom. They
learned a lot before they reached the 40th floor. Now it was time for sad stories. 

So,
Cjec started: ‘My first sad story is that I left our room key in the car’.’πŸ˜†
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During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!" 

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! 

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got." 

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!" 

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! 

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month." 

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!" 

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!" 

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. 

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks! 

So who are the real robbers here? 
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A Chinese man married an African woman and they had a baby, After two months the child passed away, at the funeral, the African woman kept sobbing and crying saying:

 I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!! So a family member pulled her aside and ask her, what did you know? She replied; Chinese products don't last long.
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Also have a look at




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Saturday, 4 March 2017

Top 8 Funny Demonetisation Jokes,Quotes,Memes With Images ;)

funny jokes on demonetisation

Here are some of the funny jokes,quotes,memes,and lot more funny things about the demonetisation 

Married people be like "Now we'll get to see how much money our wives hide behind us"
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Trump: I am going to hog the limelight today.

Modi: Bro, please.
_____________________________________________

Demonetisation explained in simple terms:

Teacher: Agar 1 aam ke ped par 10 kele lage hain, aur unn mein se 7 amrood tod liye to kitne angoor bache?

Translation: If there are 10 bananas on 1 mango trees, out of them I picked up 7 guavas, then how many grapes are left?

Student: Sir, 9 Haathi

Translation: Sir, 9 Elephants

Teacher: Wah, tumhe kaise pata chala?

Translation: Good, how do you know?

Student: Sir, kyunki main aaj lunch mein gobhi ki sabzi laya hoon.

Translation: Sir, because I have brought cauliflower curry in lunch.

Moral of the Story:

Roz brush karo warna petrol mehnga ho jayega..

Translation: Brush everyday, else petrol’s price will rise.

[Nobody understood demonstration on November 8, 2016]
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Maza tab aayega, jab Modi will say, “Bhai kal thodi zyada ho gayi thi, maaf kar do….”
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Jiski jitni aukaat hoti hai wo itna bada faisla leta hai. Congress ne chavvani ban kari thi
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Caught by traffic police - “Sir, ye lo hazaar”
TP - “Sir, aaj sau mein hi chal jayega”
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People who'll rush to exchange notes on the very first day are the very same people who have been ignoring set top box installation deadlines.
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Modi appointed Smriti as HRD minister in 2014 so dat youngsters wouldn't be able to understand economics, demonetization was so well planned.
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