Tuesday, 18 December 2018

Funny Corny Jokes You'll Love Reading

Enjoy our funniest collection of corny jokes

Q-What do you call an elephant that is unimportant?
A-An Irrelephant.

What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

A father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by Stating,

"God bless Mommy; God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

Several months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers that went like this,

"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy crap," thought the father," this child is in contact with the other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be fine.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day, he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home, his wife said,

"I've never seen you work so late. What is the matter?"

He said, "I do not want to discuss it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you will never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting.

Tuesday, 6 February 2018

100+ Funny Whatsapp Status - You Should Not Miss This Collection

Hey There, Here you will get best funny whatsapp status...So be prepared to troll your friends ;)

funny whatsapp status

  • I will marry the girl, who looks pretty in her Voter id.
  • God is indeed creative, I mean.. just look at me! :)
  • We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
  • Single but not available ;)
  • Three mistakes of my life are WTF; WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.
  • A jealous woman does better research than FBI.
  • Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one @ss h0le at a time
  • Whenever I think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think

  • Love is like a fart. If you force it, It’s probably shit
  • I told cashier- I want to open a joint account with anyone who has lots of money.
  • Changed my iPhone name to titanic it’s syncing now.
  • All girls are my sisters except you.
  •  I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
  • The only thing I gained so far in 2018 is weight.

  • (-_-) x 1.3 Billion people = China
  • Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.
  • My damn phone doesn’t allow me a text or call due to the low battery, but it has enough battery to keep screaming, “Low battery, Low battery…

  • A relationship is made for two, but some b!tches are bad in math.
  • People have become very naughty on whatsapp. Even married women have put their status as AVAILABLE.
  • You're not entirely useless. You can always serve as a bad example.
  • My handwriting is not bad, it's just that I have my unique writing font.

  • “who said nothing is impossible… I have been doing nothing for years.”
  • “My friend had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from a local zoo.”
  • “I once had a dog that really believed he was man’s best friend. He kept on borrowing money from me.”
  • “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad.”
  • “Regular naps prevent aging, especially if you take them while driving.”

  • Scratch here ================ to reveal my status! Thank You.

  • Someone on his status "Sleeping" since 3 days. He's probably dead.
  • Someone is "Driving" since 5 days! I guess he hasn't reached Dubai!
  • Someone's status is "Happy" since 1 month. Living in Paradise I guess?
  • Someone is always "Available".How free are you?
  • From the first day their status is, "Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp" I Know, that's why you're on my list!
  • Someone writes "Urgent calls only". Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service?
  • Someone says, "Can't talk, WhatsApp only".  dude then throw away your phone, you're not using the phone's primary function.
  • Someone is "At the movies" for the past 6 weeks. Either he owns the theater or sells popcorn there, just guessing
  • Someone's own "At school". What the f##k are we gonna do about your being in school, save us the story, it's all yours not for us.
  • Someone puts "Busy" for 2 months and a week. She must be very busy probably "picking beans" or breaking melons
  • This pisses off most, "Battery about to die" for 3 consecutive months. Should we contact PHCN concerning the power situation of your house or buy you new generator?
  • How can someone be "At the gym" for 4 months?Is he preparing himself for a race against Usain Bolt or he/she want a fight with JOHN CENA?
  • You're always "In a meeting" then focus on the meeting and quit WhatsApp, or Is WhatsApp the venue for the meeting?
Also, Read

Friday, 19 January 2018

Jokes On Padmavati+Witty Quotes,Tweets,Pictures,Trolls

Here are the funniest jokes, tweets, memes on Padmavati and Karni sena :)

jokes on padmavati

Deepika Padukone height is 1.74m, but Rani Padmavati height was 1.75 m. Bhansali is destroying history so

Deepika padukone coughs in padmavati movie

Rajputs: Bhansali destroyed history of rajputs.rani padmavati aise nahi muh par haath rakhke khaansti thi,  todo theatre bc.

Sanjay Leela Bhansali: I will mix shit in food in my restaurant.

People: We boycott it.

Smart People : At least taste it before boycotting

Karni Sena basically just wants to watch Padmavati for free. #PadmavatiControversy

Who are we?
Rajput Karni Sena

What do we want?
To protect a woman's honour

How do we do it?
By threatening to behead another woman#Padmavati 

Deepika " come over, I am alone "

Ranveer " will be there in 5 mins"

Karni Sena " Rani saa ke aas paas bhi mat dikhiyo khilji "

Karni Sena: "Hum Deepika ka naak kaat denge"
Bharni Sena: "Hum bhi"

Karni Sena: "Hum theatre jala denge"
Bharni Sena: "Hum bhi"

Karni Sena: "Hum Bhansali aur Deepika ka sar kaat denge"
Bharni Sena: "Hum bhi"

[Moral of the story]
Jaisi Karni, waisi Bharni.

Where was the Karni Sena when Premiere Padmini was distorting history? We all know that Rani Padmini wasn't allowed to drive.

*Bhansali directing a movie*

Bhansali: lights camera ACTION

Karni sena: Maarooo

Bhansali: Cut Cut

Karni Sena: saale hamara dialogue churata hai....aur maaro

Dear SL Bhansali,

Please don't distort historical facts which we know nothing about.

Yours truly,
Karni Sena