Funny Table Manners Jokes,Funny Quotes + [Pictures]

table manners jokes

Here are the table manners jokes,funny table manners quotes...

Santa : Are my table manners good if I eat fried chicken with your fingers?

Banta: No, you need to eat your fingers separately.
The Polite Way to Pee: During one of her daily classes, a lady teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: Amit, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, 

how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?Amit said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite' What about you Kunal, how would you say it?'

Kunal said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. 

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' The teacher fainted

"Suzy Said To Me One Day Long Ago. She Said 'Honey Please Don't Join The Corps' They Like Nothing But Fuss And Fight And They Look Kinda Weird With Those High End Tights. 

They Got Poor Table Manners And They're Oh So Cruel. They Got A War Sense Of Humor And Their Jokes Are Rude.' I Said "Suzy Let Me Tell You What I'll Do, I'll Join The Corps For A Year Or Two' So I Packed My Trash And Headed For The Place. I Went To The Place Where They Made Marines. 

Paris Island Was The Name Of The Place. The First Thing I Saw Was A Drill Instructors Face. Now Suzy Said 'Its Me Or The Corps' I Can't Take This Life Anymore. I Looked At Her With A Big Old Grin. I Haven't Seen Suzy Since I Don't Know When."