Sunday, 5 June 2016

8+ Funny Calculator Jokes You Will Surely Love To Read

Calculator Jokes

Sonia: You ve been holding a Calculator since morning, Why?..
Pappu: My pandit told me to work out my differences with my wife

funny calculator jokes

Here are some of the best hilarious calculator jokes

Another math joke but you need a background of calculus.
Infinitely many mathematicians enter a bar. The first order 1 glass, the second half glass , the third a third of a glass, the 4th a quarter of a glass and so on. The owner replied, get out you will ruin my business?

Why? because 1 + 1/2 + 1/3 + 1/4 + ... has limit equal to infinity.

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How to be faster than a calculator...

STEP 1: Have legs
STEP 2: STEP 1 !
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Why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator? Because he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed rather inappropriate.
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My calculator

6.73139497E+304
×8,884,555×9
=Overflow
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Intelligence test : 99.9% will answer wrong

Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly You can’t take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?

Let’s find out just how clever you really are….
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?

Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are…? (scroll down)

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?

You’re not very good at this, are you?

Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only . Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?
Scroll down for answer…..

Did you get 5000 ?
The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you’ll get the last question right…. Maybe.

Fourth Question: Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn’t. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. 

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

Answer : He just has to open his mouth and ask… It’s really very simple.
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Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.

The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven."

St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard."

St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.

The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."

St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"
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