Thursday, 29 December 2016

Hilarious Puns On Donald Trump With Funny Quotes,Memes,One Liners And Much More

funny donald trump jokes

Some of the best jokes on donald trump with funny quotes,memes,one liners

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery shop.

As soon as they enter the bakery, Trump steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.

He says to Hillary: “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t even see anything, and I don’t even need to lie. I will definitely win the election.”

Hillary says to Donald: “That’s the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same 3 pastries without stealing or lying, and also prove that I am much clever than you!”

Hillary goes to the owner of the bakery and says: “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick?”

Intrigued, the owner accepts Hillary’s offer and gives her a pastry. Hillary swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives her another one. Then Hillary asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.

By this time, the owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks: “What did you do with the pastries?”

Hillary replies: “Look in Donald’s pocket!”
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Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2? 

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2'? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my God, I can't believe it. 

Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It's terrible. It's just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way, I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favourite number. 

You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. 

He's a nice guy but he's like, '10101000101,' on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers, and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. 

Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me."
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AN AIR PLANE WAS ABOUT TO CRASH; THERE WERE 5 PASSENGERS ON BOARD, BUT ONLY 4 PARACHUTES.

THE FIRST PASSENGER, HOLLY MADISON SAID, "I HAVE MY OWN REALITY SHOW AND I AM THE SMARTEST AND PRETTIEST WOMAN AT PLAYBOY, SO AMERICANS DON'T WANT ME TO DIE." SHE TOOK THE FIRST PACK AND JUMPED OUT OF THE PLANE.

THE SECOND PASSENGER, JOHN MCCAIN, SAID, "I'M A SENATOR, AND A DECORATED WAR HERO FROM AN ELITE NAVY UNIT FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA." SO HE GRABBED THE SECOND PACK AND JUMPED.

THE THIRD PASSENGER, DONALD TRUMP SAID, "I AM GOING TO BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, I AM THE SMARTEST MAN IN OUR COUNTRY, AND I WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" .

SO HE GRABBED THE PACK NEXT TO HIM AND JUMPED OUT.
THE FOURTH PASSENGER, BILLY GRAHAM, SAID TO THE FIFTH PASSENGER, A 10-YEAR-OLD SCHOOLGIRL, "I HAVE LIVED A FULL LIFE AND SERVED MY GOD THE BEST I COULD. I WILL SACRIFICE MY LIFE AND LET YOU HAVE THE LAST PARACHUTE. "

THE LITTLE GIRL SAID, "THAT'S OKAY, MR. GRAHAM. THERE'S A PARACHUTE LEFT FOR YOU. THE SMARTEST MAN IN AMERICA TOOK MY SCHOOLBAG ."
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