Thursday, 9 June 2016

Humorous Jokes About New Zealand/Kiwi Humor With Quotes & One Liners

jokes about new zealand

Q. How do you castrate a man from Te Kuiti?
A. Kick his sister in the chin.
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Robert Muldoon, Prime Minister of New Zealand from 1975 till 1984. You can think of him as Churchill without a world war, warts and all (especially warts). There are a couple of good lines involving him.

First: someone expressed a certain amount of concern at the number of people emigrating from New Zealand to Australia. Muldoon dismissed such concerns, because “it raises the IQ of both countries.”

Second: it is told that, during the holidays, the Governor General encountered Muldoon coming out of Parliament with a big turkey under his arm, engendering the following exchange:

GG: I see you won the draw for the Christmas ham!

Muldoon: What do you mean? This is a turkey.

GG: I was talking to the turkey.
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A Chinaman, a German and a Kiwi are working on a highrise construction site.At lunch time, they sat down together and opened their lunchboxes.

The Chinaman looked inside and said, "Ah, if I get dumpling again, I gonna jump off the building". The German looked inside and said, "Mann, if I get Sauerkraut and Pickle again,

I vill jump off zee building too". The Kiwi looked inside and said, "Smokes if I get fush and chups again, I'm gonna jump off this building as well'!

The next day at lunchtime, they open their lunchboxes. The Chinaman looked inside and said, "Ah, DUMPLINGS!!!". He jumped off the 32nd floor and died. The German looked inside and said, "Mann, SAUERKRAUT ND PICKLE!!!!" He jumped off the 32nd floor and died. The Kiwi looked inside and said, "Smokes, FUSH AND CHUPS!!!"

He jumped off the 32nd floor and died.
At the funeral, the Chinamans wife said, "If I know he no like dumplings, I will have make something different". The Germans wife said, "If I know he doesn't like Sauerkraut nd Pickle, I would have made zompting (something) divferent.

" Everyone looked at the Kiwi's wife. She said, "Don't look at me, he made his own lunch".
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The Kiwis have solved their own fuel problems.
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.
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