Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Best Collection Of Funny Family Jokes With Pictures

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, at Christmas their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.
"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Always look at the bright side of things,, dont always look at the downside
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There was Daddy Balloon, Mummy Balloon and little Baby Balloon.

Every night Baby Balloon would sleep snugly between Mummy and
Daddy Balloon until, one night, Daddy Balloon said to Baby Balloon...

"Now son, we want to be proud of you, you're growing up and
it's about time you slept all night in your own bed...will you do that
for us?"

Baby Balloon sniffled and cried a little but agreed and so Daddy Balloon
took Baby Balloon to his little bed and tucked him up for the night...
Once again Daddy Balloon said...

"Both Mummy Ballon and I want to be proud of you...so please stay
in your own bed until morning"

Daddy Balloon goes back to bed...but just one hour later...Baby Balloon
climbs out of his bed and tries to squeeze into Mummy and Daddy
Balloon's bed...but, try as he might, he can't get in...so he takes
Daddy Balloon's nozzle and let's some air out...but he still can't
squeeze in...so he goes around to Mummy Balloon's side of the bed,
takes her nozzle and let's some of her air out...he STILL can't quite
squeeze in...SO...Baby Balloon takes his own nozzle and lets some
of his own air out...and...AT LAST he manages to squeeze in and
nestle down between Mummy and Daddy Balloon

When they all wake up in the morning...Daddy Balloon sees
Baby Balloon and becomes rather angry...he says...

"Look Baby Balloon...I asked you to stay in your OWN bed all night
so we could be proud of you and here you are back in OUR bed!!"

Baby Balloon says "Sorry Daddy"

then Daddy Ballon says..."It's just NOT good enough son...

...You've let ME down

....You've let your MOTHER down

...but MOST of all...you've let YOURSELF down"
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family jokes

What will you call a family that grows weed?

- A JOINT family!
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funny family jokes

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining about family problems. Finally the other man said, "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation... A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown up daughter and we got married. 

Later my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also my wife became mother in law of her father in law. Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father's son but he was also the son of my wife's daughter, which made him my wife's grandson. 

That made me the grandfather of my half brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half sister of my son, my stepmother is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brother in law of my child, whose stepsister is my fathers wife, 

I am my stepmothers brother in law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my fathers nephew and I'm my own grandfather. And you think you have family problems???"
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