Funny Puns & One Liners On Mumbai/Bombay, Mumbaikars
Darr ke aage jeet hai, Dadar ke aage seat hai
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Our maid had bad breath after lunch, toh maine mummy se bola byculla kyu nahi karti?
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Gareebo ka sahara,Nalasopara. 5000 deposit 2000 bhada.
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Don’t even get me started with Mu-lund
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What is the opposite of Jogeshwari? Jogesh, don't worry.
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2. Q : How do dogs in Bombay wag their tails?
A : Up & down. Because, they don't have enough space to wag sideways.
3. Mumbai - Where a cycle reaches faster than a car, Where (almost) everyone thinks himself to be a star...
4. 'Bom bay' has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
5. Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
6. There is no darkness in Andheri.
7. The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi!
8. Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
9. Lal-baag is neither red nor a garden.
10. Some funny names (to me!) in Mumbai-
i) Station - Koparkhairane, Nolasopara, Bhayander, Sanpada, Byculla
ii) Bus Stop- Garam Masala, Saki Naka, Kamani, Jari Mari
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A man is walking in the streets of Mumbai and he comes across a strange looking lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out.Genie: "I will grant you three wishes"
Man: "I want to be the richest person in Mumbai and have enough money to last for generations."
Genie : "Done"
Man: "I want the world's most beautiful woman to be my wife."
Genie: "Your wish is my command"
Man: "I want a huge palatial villa in Mumbai as my house."
Genie slaps the man. "Idiot if there was space in Mumbai do you think I would be living in a #W*&$^#$* lamp?"
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#IfMumbaiWasGotham Batman wouldn't be able to make past Andheri East without being called "IDIOT" (Ch*t*ya) 751 times.
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Why don't Mumbaikars play hide-and-seek?Because good luck finding a hiding spot that isn't already occupied by three other people and a Vada Pav stall!
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What's the difference between a Mumbai local train and a toothpaste tube?You can actually choose when you want to get out of the toothpaste tube.
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How do you know someone just moved to Mumbai?They're still surprised when their 1BHK apartment tour takes less than 30 seconds.
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Traffic in Mumbai is so bad......that by the time you reach your destination, your car's model is already outdated.
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Asking for directions in Mumbai:Tourist: "Excuse me, how do I get to Bandra?"
Mumbaikar: "Simple! Go straight, take the first left after the big Ganpati idol during Ganesh Chaturthi, avoid the usual pothole near the chaiwala, cross the road where everyone else is crossing even if the light is red, and then just follow the honking sounds."
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Why did the auto-rickshaw driver refuse a short fare in Mumbai?He said, "Boss, the meter starts at ₹25, but my emotional damage calculation for this traffic starts at ₹100!"
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What's a Mumbaikar's definition of 'personal space'?That imaginary millimeter between you and the next person breathing down your neck in the queue.
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Monsoon season in Mumbai:Other cities have water parks. Mumbai is a water park. Compulsory entry, no extra charge for the adventure obstacles (potholes and floating debris).
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Real Estate Agent in Mumbai: "This apartment has a fantastic sea view!"Buyer: "Where?"
Agent: "Lean out the window, look past the neighbour's drying laundry, squint really hard on a clear day... see that tiny blue pixel? That's it!"
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What do you call a relaxed person in Mumbai?A tourist.
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