Hilarious Skinny People Jokes With Witty Quotes & One Liners

Here is the hilarious collection of jokes about skinny people, jokes about being skinny, skinny jokes for girls, skinny jokes for guys with witty quotes and one liners

funny jokes about skinny people

I hate when skinny bitches call themselves fat just to get compliments.
Bitch, shut the f#ck up and eat that sandwich.

Its Hard To Date Skinny Girls Because
You Don't Know Wether To Love Them
Or Feed Them.

Skinny Jokes

Skinny couple holding hands be looking like letter M

I hate when i tell a joke 2 a skinny chic and she texts back 'LMAO'...like, what do u mean bitch?! U dont have an ass to laugh off!!

A Skinny little white Irish man gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little Irish man staring at him.

He looks down at the Irish man and says:”7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch p#nis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown"

The little white Irish man faints dead away and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him……

The big guy says,"What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little Irish guy says,"What EXACTLY did you just say to me?"

The big dude says,"Well, I saw your curious look and I figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me................

I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my balls weigh 3 pounds each...and my name is Turner Brown"

The little white Irish man says: “Turner Brown?…. O’h Sweet Jesus........ I thought you said, "Turn around!"

Things Every “Skinny” Girl Is Tired Of Hearing

1. “Do you ever eat?”-Yes, I eat.
How the heck would I still be alive?

2.You have a boyish figuyre.”-Really ? I know boys who have bigger boobs than I do.

3. “You’d look better with a little meat on your bones.”-oh wow..and you know this coz??

4.“Real men love curves.”-I’m pretty sure real men love confidence.

5.“You should try modelling!”-Why? Because you think I’m pretty enough? Or is it because I’m skinny?

6.wow.You can wear anything and it will look good on you.”- Actually…most clothes don’t fit
right. I have to get them hemmed,or taken in. And baby clothes aren’t my style.

7.“Eat a cheeseburger!”-really..??Ido eat cheeseburgers. Lots of them. I’ve even tried protein shakes and “bulk up” diets.

8.You’re all skin and bones.”- hello.I have organs, hair,nails….oh and a personality!

9.I bet you don’t even have to exercise.”-Exercising is good for your body and mind. Just because
I’m thin, doesn’t mean I sit on the couch all day.

10.You look like one of those kids in the Unicef commercials.”-Those kids are actually dying. How
horrible are you?

Lost your pen = no pen
No pen = no notes
No notes = no study
No study = fail
Fail = no degree
No degree = no work
No work = no money
No money = no food
No food = skinny
Skinny = ugly
Ugly = no love
No love = no marriage
No marriage = no children
No children = alone
Alone = depression
Depression = sickness
Sickness = death
Lesson: Don't lose your pen, YOU WILL DIE

Skinny people jokes for girls - offensive skinny jokes

I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, neither can the rapist.
I hate when skinny b!tches call themselves fat just to get compliments. B!tch, shut the f##k up and eat that sandwich.
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. 

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! 

All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his baby face! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. 

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?" 
My darling," 
she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."