Extreme Insult-

Maths Teacher-Jab mei tere jitna tha to mere maths mein 100 marks aate the.

.

.

Student-Aate honge sir,

Aapko koi accha teacher padata hoga.

Teachar :- What's The Full Form Of MATHS

.

.

Pappu :- Meri Aatma Tujhe Hamesha Satayegi !

Maths and Women are the two most complicated things in the world...

.

.

.

But Maths at least has some logic :D

"John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?

DIABETES - John has diabetes."

Very interesting & meaningful msg:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K LM N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is equal to:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

24 25 26

Then,

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K;

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E;

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%

L+O+V+E;

12+15+22+5 = 54%

L+U+C+K ;

12+21+3+11 = 47%

None of them makes 100%. Then what makes 100%?

Is it Money? NO!

M+O+N+E+Y= 13+15+14+5+25=72%

Leadership? NO!

L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P= 12+5+1+4+5+18+1

9+8+9+16=97%

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change

our "ATTITUDE"...

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E ;

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is therefore OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that

makes

OUR Life:) %Successful.

Amazing Mathematics.

Interview Start...

>> MP&HR Officer <<

........................................

HR : what is your name?

Mike : MP sir

HR : In full please...

Mike : Michael Phang

HR : your father's name?

Mike : MP sir

HR : what does that mean?

Mike : Melvin Phang

HR : your native place?

Mike : MP sir

HR : what's that?

Mike : Malacca Province

HR : what is your qualification?

Mike : MP

HR : (angry) what is thaat?!!!

Mike : Mathematics Professor

HR : so why do you need a job?

Mike : it is because of MP sir

HR : meaning?

Mike : Money Problems

HR : would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?

Mike : MP sir..

HR : and what is that??

Mike : Marvelous Personality

HR : I see... I will get back to you..

Mike : sir, how was my MP sir?

HR : and what's that again?

Mike : My Performance..

HR : I think u hv an MP..

Mike : meaning??

HR : Mental Problem!!!

I'm Sure Of Being Weak In Mathematics. I Mean I Can't Match The Number Of Friends I Had And The Number Which I Have.

Dear Mathematics,

Stop Asking To Find Your X, She Has A New Boyfriend Now.

An engineer Proposing a girl in mathematics.

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.

There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing

in your triangular garden.

Before seeing you my heart was a null set,but when a vector of a particular Magnitude

from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, my heart differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only You can solve by making

good binary relation with me.

The tangent of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into

partial fractions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around

your acute personality.

My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Finding ‘y’ In Mathematics Is Much Easier Than Finding Reason Of ‘why’ In Real Life.!

____________________________________________________________

Today I met my high school mathematics teacher and he asked for directions to Barclays Bank.

So I remembered how he used to tell us that without mathematics we would end nowhere in life! So I told him;

"Sir make a 270 degrees turn, take a straight transect for about 1.8 metres ( you may round that up to the nearest tens), take an offset of 45 degrees protracted from the normal or the geographic north, you will then see a shop which is perpendicular to the horizontal, approximately 300 metres high , make an obtuse angle turn to your left and you will see another building with a green roof truncated

at 90 degrees the zenith.

Maths Teacher-Jab mei tere jitna tha to mere maths mein 100 marks aate the.

.

.

Student-Aate honge sir,

Aapko koi accha teacher padata hoga.

____________________________________________________________

Teacher - Tell me the value of X

Student - Sir :( woh jaan thi meri !

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Teachar :- What's The Full Form Of MATHS

.

.

Pappu :- Meri Aatma Tujhe Hamesha Satayegi !

____________________________________________________________

.

.

.

But Maths at least has some logic :D

____________________________________________________________

"John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?

DIABETES - John has diabetes."

____________________________________________________________

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K LM N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is equal to:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

24 25 26

Then,

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K;

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E;

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%

L+O+V+E;

12+15+22+5 = 54%

L+U+C+K ;

12+21+3+11 = 47%

None of them makes 100%. Then what makes 100%?

Is it Money? NO!

M+O+N+E+Y= 13+15+14+5+25=72%

Leadership? NO!

L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P= 12+5+1+4+5+18+1

9+8+9+16=97%

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change

our "ATTITUDE"...

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E ;

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is therefore OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that

makes

OUR Life:) %Successful.

Amazing Mathematics.

____________________________________________________________

>> MP&HR Officer <<

........................................

HR : what is your name?

Mike : MP sir

HR : In full please...

Mike : Michael Phang

HR : your father's name?

Mike : MP sir

HR : what does that mean?

Mike : Melvin Phang

HR : your native place?

Mike : MP sir

HR : what's that?

Mike : Malacca Province

HR : what is your qualification?

Mike : MP

HR : (angry) what is thaat?!!!

Mike : Mathematics Professor

HR : so why do you need a job?

Mike : it is because of MP sir

HR : meaning?

Mike : Money Problems

HR : would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?

Mike : MP sir..

HR : and what is that??

Mike : Marvelous Personality

HR : I see... I will get back to you..

Mike : sir, how was my MP sir?

HR : and what's that again?

Mike : My Performance..

HR : I think u hv an MP..

Mike : meaning??

HR : Mental Problem!!!

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

Dear Mathematics,

Stop Asking To Find Your X, She Has A New Boyfriend Now.

____________________________________________________________

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.

There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing

in your triangular garden.

Before seeing you my heart was a null set,but when a vector of a particular Magnitude

from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, my heart differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only You can solve by making

good binary relation with me.

The tangent of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into

partial fractions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around

your acute personality.

My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

____________________________________________________________

Finding ‘y’ In Mathematics Is Much Easier Than Finding Reason Of ‘why’ In Real Life.!

____________________________________________________________

Today I met my high school mathematics teacher and he asked for directions to Barclays Bank.

So I remembered how he used to tell us that without mathematics we would end nowhere in life! So I told him;

"Sir make a 270 degrees turn, take a straight transect for about 1.8 metres ( you may round that up to the nearest tens), take an offset of 45 degrees protracted from the normal or the geographic north, you will then see a shop which is perpendicular to the horizontal, approximately 300 metres high , make an obtuse angle turn to your left and you will see another building with a green roof truncated

at 90 degrees the zenith.

Within that quadrant, and using Pythagoras' Theorem, you will be able to find the bank at a

radius of about the logarithm of 7 raised to the power two, in metres (take pi to be = 3.14).

radius of about the logarithm of 7 raised to the power two, in metres (take pi to be = 3.14).

The ex teacher fainted...

I made sure he felt what I used to feel like as a pupil in his math class.

I made sure he felt what I used to feel like as a pupil in his math class.

____________________________________________________________