Saturday, 23 July 2016

13 Humorous Jokes On Ice Cream + Witty Quotes,One Liners...

funny ice cream jokes

Hilarious jokes on ice cream,witty quotes on ice cream,ice cream one liners,funny ice cream man jokes,funny sayings,slogans...and lot more interesting :)

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with nuts & hundreds and thousands.

Police say that he topped himself.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

The clerk in the Ice Cream shop saw a customer leaving the drug store across the way, heading for his shop. The customer entered, set a small Thermos container on the counter and unwrapped a condom. "Here, take this condom. Drop a scoop of ice cream in it."

The clerk did so, and handed the condom, with its ice cream content, to the customer. The customer placed the arrangement in the Thermos jug, and capped the jug.
"What," asked the ice cream purveyor, "is the reason for that?"

"For three months now, my wife has been bugging me for a deep freeze. Tonight, by golly, I’m going to give it to her."

Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

A man walks past an ice cream stand that advertises, ‘Every flavor ice cream in the world.’ ‘Bullsh#t,’ thinks the man and walks in. 

‘So you say you have every flavor ice cream in the world? O.K., I would like three scoops of cun+ flavoured ice cream please.’ ‘No problem sir.’ 

The assistant gives the man three scoops of ice cream in a cone and the man takes a good lick. 
Grimacing, he says, ‘This doesn't taste like cun+, it tastes like shit!’ 

The assistant replies, ‘Of course it tastes like shit when you take such long licks!’

1% - Because its delicious 
99%- to prove that they can afford one

Me - Hey Dad, can you shout me an ice-cream?

I hate how ice cream immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am i that hot ? 

Girl Demanded for Ice Cream
Boy Purchased It
Girl: Thank U
Boy: Only Thank U
Girl: U Want Kiss Na?
Boy: Arrey Romance Ki Bhuki, Aadhi Icecream De.

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. 

They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream.
"You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. 

"Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.

"Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

"So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"

What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
"What's eating you?"

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" 

Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." 

Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" 

The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." 

Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

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