Sunday, 12 June 2016

Lalu Prasad Yadav Jokes,Funny Dialogues,Hilarious Comedy By Lalu

lalu prasad yadav jokes

Huge collection of lalu prasad yadav jokes,his funny speech in parliament with quotes and one liners

Lalu obama se english sikhne america gaye,

lautne ke bad lalu ko call aya,

lalu ; who is speaking ?

Obama: hum sasura obama bolat lag hu, humka nahi pehchane BUDBAK.

LALU ROCKED ! ObAMA SHOCKED
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Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son:-
Laloo : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".

Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case..."
Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani:-
Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."

Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case..."

Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank:-
Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."

Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case....."
This is how business is done!!
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Lalu- aaj kuch naya kare,
,
Rabri- ka?
,
Lalu- aaj hum tohre kaan me dalunga !
,
Rabri- na baba na baheri ho gai to?
,
Lalu- dhatt pagli muh me li to gungi hui ka.
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Lalu Sonia Ji se: Sonia Ji.. E bataye ki I Love You
ka matlab ka hota hai?
Sonia: Me tumse pyaar karti hu!

Lalu: Le kar lo bat.. sasura hum agreji me ek
saval ka puchh liya.. E pagali to hum par fida ho gayee!
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Lalu prasad yadav and obama jokes

Obama: Tujhe swiming aati hai.
Lalu: Na

Obama: Tere se to kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Lalu: Tumko aata hai

Obama: Yes
Lalu: Sasura fir tohre mein aur Kutta mein farak ka hai
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Mayawati Laloo ke ghar elephant ke sath aayi.

Laloo - Bhaiswaa ke sath aaye ho ??

Mayawati - Dikhta nahi elephantwa hai.

Laloo - Dhatt pagli , hum elephantwa se puch raha hoon
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Air Hostess to Lalu - Sir, are u vegetarian or non-vegetarian?
Lalu: I am Indian.

Air hostess: No, No. Sir, are you shakahari or masahari?
Lalu: Hat sasuri! I am Bihari.
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Lalu Ji Bhi Bade Kamal Ke Aadmi Hai..

Rakhi Sawant Ek Din Bihar Ke Tour Par Gayi Aur Lalu Ji Ki Shaksiyat Se Kafi Impress Hokar Unko Apne Saath Apne Ghar Le Aayi

Kamre Mein Le Jakar Jo Do Kapde Pehne The Wo Utar Kar Nangi Ho Ke Boli.

Rakhi Sawant: “Muje Bandh Do Aur Wo Karo Jo Bihari Sabse Acha Karte Hai”

Bas Ye Sun Na Tha Ki Lalu Ji Ne Kurta Utara Aur
Katora Liya Or Doodh Nikalna Shuru Kar Diya.
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Lalu Yadav was Filling up a form. He did not know the meaning of Zodiac Sign.

He turned the page & saw that Manmohan had written Scorpio, so he wrote Innova..!!

Next one
....hilarious

Mayawati was also filling up a form. She did not know the meaning Of Zodiac Sign. She turned the page & saw that Sonia had written Cancer so she wrote Piles.!!
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Lalu prasad yadav & bill gates jokes

Laloo prasad ne Microsoft USA me job k liye apply kiya..

Few days later, he got this reply: "Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad, You do not meet our requirements..
.
Please do not send any further correspondence..
.
No phone call shall be entertained..
.
Thanks Bill Gates
.
Laloo prasad bahut khush hua or usne press conference ki..
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogi ki hum ko America mein naukri mil gayi hai.."
.
Ab hum aap sab ko apna appointment Letter padhkar sunaungaa par letter angrezi mein hai isliye saath-saath Hindi main translate bhi karunga..
.
"Dear Mr. Laloo:" Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiya
.
You do not meet-aap to milte hi nahi ho
.
our requirement - humko to zarurat hai
.
Please do not send any further correspondence -ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zarurat nahi
.
No phone call -phoonwa ka bhi zarurat nahin hai
.
shall be entertained -bahut khaatir ki jayegi
.
Thanks -aapka bahut dhanyavad
.
Bill Gates -Tohar Bilva.
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Lawyer to Lalu: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Funny Lalu : "Yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir Gita pe haath!!"
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Laloo : Ka naam hai aapka ?

Pele : Hum Pele hain..

Laloo : Hum bhi, 11 baar ! tabhi to yeh cricket team tayyar hui hai
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Mayawati walking with her 2 sons .

Lalu asks : R they twins ?

Mayawati : No , One is 7 yrs& other 9 yrs. But y did u ask ?. . .

Lalu: can't believe, If someone Have #ucked U twice..?
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Ek boat me Mayawati, Lalu, Manmohan
Advani, Sonia, Pawar, Sushma swaraj Ja Rhe the,
achanak naav Doob Gyi
To Batao kon Bacha?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hamara DESH...!
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Lalu's PA -sir there is a new problem.

Lalu-ka problem.?

PA: Ebola

Lalu: kon bola?

PA: koi nhi bola sir.Ebola

Lalu: arey kon bola be??modi bola ,rahul bola ki nitishwa bola

PA: aap samajh nhi rhe sir .ebola

Lalu: abey hm samajh nhi rhe ki tum pagla gye hoka ??bola kon manmohanba bola diya ka re.
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Question:"Ek Aeroplane Delhi se Mumbai jane me 120 min leta hai but Mumbai se wapas Delhi aane me sirf 2 hrs ???Ab dekhiye iske jawab me hamare Rajneta kya reply krte hai

Rahul Gandhi:"jate waqt petrol se jati h or aate waqt diesel se isliye..

Manoj tiwari:"jaanch committee banayege or mamle ki nishpaksh janch hogi..

Laloo- agar ham mantri hota to aisa nahi hota 

Kapil Sibbal:"Isme jarur RSS ka hath hai..

Salmaan khurshid:"aate waqt koi handicapped pilot plan chala rha hoga..
Mayawati:"agar plan me hathi ki statue lagi hoti to aisa na hota..

Akbar Owaisi:"Delhi se Mumbai k raste me Gujrat padta hai, ye jarur Narendra Modi ki chal hai..
Manmohan Singh:"Madam se puchh kar batauga...

Nitish kumar-jab tak biharko vishesh rajya ka darja nahi mil jaega, aise ghotale to hote hi rahenge
anna-is mamle ki nishpaksh jaanch honi chahiye, aur jab tak sach samne nahiayega mai anshan karoonga

Baba ramdev-ye ho sakta hai ki pilot ne anulom-vilomna kiya ho isliye shaaree ki thakaan ke karan ek baar zyada time laga diya ho.Yog se theek ho jaega
Narendra Modi: Abe Chutiyo.... 2 hour = 120 minutes
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lalu prasad yadav nitish kumar jokes

MLAs of RJD who revolted against Lalu returned to RJD after giving 5 hours of orgasm to Nitish Kumar.

In simple terms, this is called KLPD
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do admi the lalu aur chalu.

lalu : chalu.....,chalu.....,chalu.....,

chalu : yar lalu muje pta he ki tu yhi par he.

lalu : me ye sabit kar sakta hu ke me yha nhi hu.

chalu : chl lagi 1000-1000 ki shariyat.

lalu : haa lagi chl bata,kya me Mumbai me hu?

chalu : nhi ho.

lalu : kya me shimla me hu?

chalu : nhi ho.

lalu : kya me M.P me hu?

chalu : nhi ho.

lalu : me Mumbai me nhi hu,shimla me nhi hu,M.P me bi nhi hu?iska matlab me yha par bi nhi hu?

chalu : ha ji nhi ho.

lalu : to nikalo mere 1000 Rs.

calu : me tume 1000 Rp de to deta par jab tum yha par ho hi nhi to me tume Rp kese du
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Lalu returns.
Maggie returns.
Fun things with health hazards return
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Sonia Gandhi Ne Shadi Ka Socha Aur Swayamwar Racha.

Par Usne Ek Ajeeb Si Sharat Rakhi Ki
Main Shaadi Usi Se Karungi Jiska Lund Khada Nahi Hoga
Swayamwar Mein Ramdev Baba, Anna Hajare Aur Manmohan Singh Aaye
Sonia Un Logo Ke Aage Kapde Utar Ke Khadi Ho Gayi

Ramdev Aur Anna Ka To Khada Ho Gaya Par Manmohan Ka Nahi Hua
Sonia Ne Fatafatt Manmohan Se Shadi Kar Li, Suhagraat Ko Manmohan Ne Sonia Ko Kaha
Manmohan: “Chal Kapde Utar Aur Godhi Ban Ja” Aur Ye Kah Ke Usne Apne Kapde Utar Diye
Sonia Ne Dekha Ki Manmohan Ka To Pura Khada Hua Pada Tha

Sonia Chillate Hue Boli: “Madarchhod Us Waqt To Tera Lund Khada Nahi Hua Tha, Ab Kaise Ho Gaya”
Manmohan Muskurate Hue Bola: “Us Waqt Maine Chashma Nahi Pahna Tha Na
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Lalu ka 9th fail beta aaj deputy CM ban gaya.. !!
Moral: Padh likh kar sirf facebook status update kar sakte hain..
Zindagi ka status to ye anpadh gawaar log update kar rahe hain.
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Sharad Pawar and Lalu Yadav giving a clean chit to Robert Vadra is like Rakhi Sawant and Poonam Pandey giving the 'Sati Savitri' award to Sunny Leone
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Normal People-
Orkut

Lalu Prasad
AarKuut
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Lalu Prasad Yadav ka funny beta 1000 Watt ke bulb par Lalu Yadav ka naam likh raha tha.

Lalu Yadav: Bitwa, e ka kart ho?

Funny Beta: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
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Lalu Saw A Donkey And Cat AtSonia’s House To Impress Sonia He Talk To Her In English.
Lalu: “ Madam, Your Ass Is Pretty But Your PussyIs Simply Mind Blowing
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Ek bar loksabha ki meeting k bd LALU PRASAD aur SONIA GANDHI ek hi hotel me jate ae...pr wha ek hi room hota ae to wo ek hi room me so jate ae ae LALU JI niche jamin pe so jate ae aur SONIA bed pr...

thodi der bad LALU to thark chadi ae aur LALU bolta ae SONIA g gathbandhan bnate ae to SONIA kheti ae chup chap so ja to LALU muth mar k hi kam chla leta ae thodi der bad SONIyA kethi ae aajo LALU g gathbandan bnate ae tho is pr 

LALU G ka reply aata ae ab kya gathbandan banana sarkar to gir chuki hai.
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