Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Smartness Jokes,Over Smartness Jokes,Funny One Liners,Quotes,Pictures

Intelligence Humor

Son:Dad there is a small get together tomorrow at school ...pls come.....

Dad: What do u mean by small?? Son: only u ,me and principal....

smartness jokes
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A joke depicting smartness of a Bangalorean.

A boy romanticaly said 2 his girlfriend:
"I can see d whole world in ur eyes!"
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A Bangalorean passerby asks him
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malleshwaram nali trafic idhiya antha nodi guru swalpa:P
(Just chk out is thr ne traffic in malleshwaram)
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Intelligent jokes one liners

College ka first day,
Boy: whats your name?

Girl: Mujhe sab DIDI kehte hai.
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Boy: what a coincidence Mujhe sab JIJA Jee kehte hai
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A girl watching Football match, had painted the national flag on her face !
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A clever boy kissed and said,
"I Love My Country"
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SMARTNESS V/S INTELLIGENCE

Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

Einstein says, "Let 's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don 't know the answer, you pay
me only $ 5 and if I don 't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

Einstein asks the first question: What 's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?

Banta doesn 't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5.

Now, it 's Banta 's turn. He asks Einstein, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on
4 legs?"

Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends. After an hour, he gives Banta $500.

Einstein going nuts and asks,"Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with
four?"

Banta reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $ 5.
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Professor: Only wise men hesitate,
Fools are always confident.
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Student: Are you sure sir…?
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Joke Of The Smartness...
Poora padhna.....

Boy: "I Love U tum iss duniya ki sabse khubsurat ladki ho.."
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Girl: "Par tumhare peeche to mujh se bhi zyada khubsurat ladki khadi hai.."

Ladke ne mud kar dekha to waha koi nahi tha....

Girl: "Agar tum mujhse saccha pyaar karte toh kabhi mud kar nahi dekhte.."
"I HATE YOU"

Moral: "Moral woral kuch nahi bas ladki zara tez nikali...!!"

"Par Watt Abhi Baaki Hai Mere Dosto"

Boy: "Jaisi tumhari marzi but ab ye diamond ring main kise dunga.."
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Girl: "Lo Ab main apne jaanu ke saath mazak bhi nahi kar sakti kya..?"

Ladki ne ring box me dekha...

Girl: "Ye to khaali hai."
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Boy: "Agar tum mujh se saccha pyaar karti to kabhi box khol kar check nahi karti..!!"
"I HATE YOU"

Moral: "Ladki Jitni Tezz Hoti Hai Utni Hi Tez Uski Watt Bhi Lagti Hai....!!"
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Over smartness pun

Result Of Over Smartness
A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door.
A lady opened the door.
Before she could speak, the salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet.

Salesman : Madam, if I cannot clean this up in nxt 15 mins with my new powerful vaccum cleaner, i'll EAT all this Shit...! ;O

Lady : Do u need Chilli Sauce with that? confused_rev emoticon
Salesman : why Madam?

Lady : Becoz there's no electricty in the house. xP
MORAL: Over smartness is dangerous
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Smartness jokes

My friend thinks he is smart.
He told me, an onion is only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut of his face.
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Teachr: Where is ur Assignment?
Studnt: Mam, I lost it While fightng wid d students who said dat u r not d cutest teacher on campus!!!
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smartness funny quotes

Kid- Me sleep with Dad last night
Madam (correcting)- No beta, I slept with dad last night

Kid- Aap mere sone ke baad ayi hogi.
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Smartness of lawyer and judge

Court Mein Case Chal Raha Tha,
Case Ki Sunwai Shuru Hone Lagi ToWakeel Utha Aur Judge Se Bola.
Wakeel: “My Lord, Qanoon Ki Kitaab Ke Page Number 15 Ke Mutabiq Mere Muvakeel Ko Baizzat Bari Kiya Jaye”

Judge: “Kitaab Pesh Ki Jaye” Kitaab Pesh Ki Gayi,
Judge Ne Page Number 15 KholaTo Usmein 1000 Ke 10 Note The.
Judge Muskurate Hue Bola: “Bahut Khoob, Is Tarha Ke 2 Saboot Aur Pesh Kiye Jaye“
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Height of over smartness jokes

One girl went to a Electronic Shop with anger and threw her new Laptop on the desk at a
person from whom she bought She told the salesman that you've cheated me. 

I can't transfer files from my previous laptop Salesman : Mam, Can u please try it infront of
me ? This is what she did

1) Right click the mouse on the file which she wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnectd the mouse from that Lappy.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connectd it to the other Lapy where she wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE Option.

SALESMAN DIED !
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Govt-jiske 5 bache h use ghar degi.
Santa ke 3 the,usne wife se kaha-padosan ke 2 bhi mere h unko laata hu
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(lane ke baad) apne 3 kaha gaye ??
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Wife jinke the wo le gaye.
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Boy to girl .... I can make u say I Love You...
Girl : no wayyy !!
Boy : bet ??
Girl : yes ...
Boy : ok start ... say blue ?
Girl : blue
Boy : say pink ?
Girl : pink...
Boy : say love ?
Girl : love ...
Boy : whats 1+1 ?
Girl : 2
Boy : ur age ?
Girl : 18
Boy : hahaha... i tOld u i cud make u say 18!!
Girl : no, u said u cud make me say I LOVE U
Boy : yes i did !
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Drinking habits and smartness are directly proportional in women; the smarter they are, the bigger drinkers they ought to be.
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