Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Funny Jokes On Chartered Accountant With Hilarious Quotes,Shayari,Images


Hello friends.Here in this post I'm going to share funny CA jokes,CA funny quotes,Funny shayari on Chartered Accountants,CA student life quotes and much more to enjoy 😀


funny ca jokes






dedicated to all CA students..
C.A. Karne Wale Ki CHHOTI SI LOVE STORY
Mai 3 Saal ka tha Aur wo Paida Hui...
Maine school me admission lia aur wo 2 Saal ki,

Mai 2 me or wo KG me,
Mai 7 me or wo 5 me,
Mai Matric me or wo 8 me,
Mai Inter me or wo Matric me,
Mai C.A me or wo Inter me,
Mai C.A me or wo B.A me,
Mai C.A me or wo M.A. me,
Mai C.A me or wo M.Phil me,
Mai C.A me or wo Ph.D me,
Mai C.A me or wo Professor bn gai,

Kal uski Shaadi hai or mera C.A ka Paper hai :D

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Why most of the CA students Can't clear all subjects in 1st attempt..?

Answer:Smooth roads never make good drivers,
Clear sky never makes good pilots
&
Clearing all subjects in the 1st attempt,
Never makes good CA !
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ICAI: Aisi chiz ka Naam Bata jo Laal ho or Trin Trin karti Ho.
CA Student: Telephone.
ICAI: Galat.
CA Student: To phir..
ICAI: TAMATAR, Trin Trin to Confuse Karne k liye diya tha.
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C.A Girl" (vidai k waqt):
Papa roiye mat, meri 1 baat dhyan se suniye,
Tent wale ko, catering wale ko na contract amount pr T.D.S kat k payment kijiyega fir challan ki copy bhijwa dijiega,

return "ye" file kr denge,
nominal si fee lenge aap se to..
Moral :- income ki koi bhi opportunity na chhodo !
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A Dr.& A CA. luvs D same girl.
Dr.givs her a rose.
bt CA. gvs her apple daily
Dr.ask y?
CA.:~AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!
DR shockd
CA rocked!!
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Fun Time: Ek CA k ghar mehman aaye hue the.
CA: Thanda piyo ge ya garam?.
Mehman: Thanda.
CA: Rooh Afza ya Pepsi?.
Mehmaan: Pepsi
CA: Bottle mein piyo ge ya glass me?.
Mehmaan: Glass me..

CA: simple glass me ya designwala?.
Mehmaan: Design wala.
CA: Lines wala ya flowers wala.?
Mehman: Flowers wala.
CA: Gulaab wala ya chameli wala.?
Mehman: Chameli wala.
CA: Sorry Yaar hamare ghar me Aisa glass nahi hai.
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CA students ki koi ni sunta..
Jin - Hukum mere aakka!!
CA student- Mere harsubject mein 100 marks aane chahiye aur mein ICAI ka president ban jau.
Jin- aakka! hukum kro, bakwaas mat karo pls !
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Two CAs getting married..
During marriage ceremony,
wife vomits
Husband asks The reason ?
.
.
.
Wife said:
( Every time Its Not Profit Prior
Incorporation)
.
.
.
This Time It Is...
"Capital gain arising out of
previous partnership!!!"
hehehe
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Why do Bride's Parents need 2 pay
Dowry in marriage?


CA STUDENT:coz Excise Duty on Production is payable at the time of dispatch.
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CA Final students Reactions after seeing Budget 2015 :
"Saala jo 10 marks ka aata tha usko hi nikal diya..(Wealth Tax Abolished)"
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A woman in hot air balloon realised that she is lost. She reduced altitude and shouted to a man below:
Excuse me! Can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I do not know where I am.

Man (after using his laptop) below replied:
You are in a hot air balloon 30 ft. above the ground. You are 41 deg North latitude and 59 deg West longitude.

Lady: You must be an C.A.
Man: How do you know?
Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless and the fact is I am still lost.
C.A.: You must be in top management.
Lady: Yes. How do you know?

C.A.: You do not know where you are and where you are going. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.
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Someone say me that CA students are shameless they got failure again n again but they dont like to drop i wana to say only one sentence.

" DAM HAI TO PASS KAR NAHI TO BARDAST KAR ITS CA"

ITS Not about shamelessness its about to dare to do CA.
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CA Students are tortured so much that even when they die, open their coffins they are seen writingthe journal entry:
GOD A/c Dr.
To LIFE A/c
(Being Life Returned to God)
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Think like a CA.
Ek garib kishan ka beta jail me tha....
us budhe kisan ne apne bete ko jail me khat likha- "beta me aalu ki fasal nahi bo sakta, Itna bada khet mujse nahi khudega kash tu meri madad kr pata."
.
Bete ne wapas jawab diya -"papa aap khet mat khodna, mene waha hathiyar chhupa rakhe hai !!!
.
Agle din police force ne sara khet khod diya par hathiyar nahi mila...
.
Bete ne fir baap ko likha-
papa yaha se me itni hi madad kr pauga,
Aap ab aalu uga dijiye.
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CA na ho gyi Aladdin ka chirag ho gya... jisko dkho bolta h CA banne k baad ye milega vo milega!
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Sunday is funday
Sunday is holiday
Sunday is rest full day
Sunday is joy full day
CA Student- aaj to sabsse jada
busy hu bhai kyu dil jalate ho:D
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My personal request to Mr. President n other officials of ICAI, if any CA Caught for Fraud....then its a Best Punishment
.
.
Send him to Qualify CA, Right from CPT to
Final,Including Articleship From One of his Ex-
Article..!!:D tongue emoticon
Kabhi
dobara fraud krne ke liye sochega b nai..
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Q. What do you find in a clean nose ??
.
Doctor: Nothing.
Engineering student: Nothing.
.
C.A student: Finger prints.
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Every student gets an opporunity to sleep,
enjoy life , make bf/gf , bunk classes ..


Bt some miss thos beautiful moments..

Those super humans r known as
CA student !!
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Chartered Accountant Student went & proposed a girl.
Girl : What can u do to make me love you ?
Boy : I will do what ever u want, I
will bring stars from the sky, I will
jump from where ever u say, I will do anything for u.
Girl : Can u complete ur CA Course without a single back??
.
Boy : take care of urself sister......i have some work....i'm leaving.
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Place- CA Exam Hall..
Exam-

Girl to CA boy- yaar, plzz pehle ques. ka answer bata de..


Boy- acha le jaldi likh Girl aftr writting the answers- thanks
bro. u helped me a lot..

Boy shocked..

Boy- saali bhai hoga tera bf., Kamini galat hai answers, dhang se padh match ki
commentary hai ;D

Boy madhosh, Girl behosh:p grin emoticon
Dnt mess with CA Students
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Some people don't sleep bcoz they have Insomia...
Others don't sleep bcoz they have Internet connection.
We don't sleep bcoz we have ICAI/ICSI/ICWAI connections .
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A Week B4 Exam
V Rfer 2 Foreign Authors,
2 Dys B4 Xam
V REfr 2 Local Authors,
On D Dy Of Xam
V Bcme Authors,
"tu khali heading bata de andar ka me khud likh lunga"
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love letter by CA student :-

Dearest Ms. _____,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you. Since the 5th of december 2012(Wenesday). With reference to the meeting held between us on 5th of December 2012 at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.


Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, wou
ld be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough, to be taken care of all your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without any further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your friends, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation.

Yours sincerely,

CA :D
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1 Engineer ,1 MBA Student or 1 CA student Kashti mein ja rahe the.
.
1 jin aaya aur bola"samundar mein koi cheez phenko agar mene dhund Li to mein tumhe
maar dunga aur na dhund paaya to mein tumhara ghulam".
.
MBA ne needle phenkhi jin ne dhund liya aur use maar dia,
.
ENGINEER ne memory card phenka,
jin ne dhund lia aur use bhi maar dia.
.
CA student ne disprin phenki aur wo paani mein ghul gayi.
CA student bola: "chal beta ghar chal account pade hai"..
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Dear CA exams,

teri saal bhar humko tarpana teri raat bhar chaye or coffee pilana
teri din mein bhi taare dikhana
nahi bhulunga main
jab tak hai jaan
jab tak hai jaan


tera syllabus ka khatam na hona
tera hak se bhi kam marks dilwana
tera time mein khatam na ho pana nahi maaf karunga main
jab tak hai jaan
jab tak hai jaan

doston ko ek saath tere hasane aur rulane se duniya k baare mein thoda aur tere sikhane se zindagi mein hum sab ko tere aage bar bar ane se mohabbat karunga main jab tak hai jaan
jab tak hai jaan

tere india k match k agle din hona
tere nayi film nikalne k waqt hona
tere chhuttiyon k din barbaad karna nafrat karunga main jab tak hai jaan
jab tak hai jaan!
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Top 7 reasons why I joined
C.A.

1) I hated sleep.


2) I had enjoyed my life
enough.

3) I couldn't live without
tension.

4) I wanted to pay for my
sins.

5) I believed in the
Bhagwad Geeta principle :
karm karo, phal ki chinta
na karo.

6) Everything in life has a
reason, I wanted to prove
it wrong.

7) I wanted to take
revenge on myself.
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CPT STUDENT: me pas ho gaya..
BIG BRO:- Kitne marks aaye.
CPT STU. 106
BRO. Sirf 106 marks... pasodi ka ladka 180 marks laya h.
CPT STU. : 180 Marks vala kya final me panuch gaya kya... deni to ipcc h.
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Life of a CA Student..!!

- Oneside love..
- Silent mode mobiles..
- Bus stand comedies..
- Escape from Seminars..
- Boring Last lectures ..
- Birthday treats..
- Last minute preparation..
- Overnight study 4 next
day's Exam..
- Friend's family functions.
- Feeling of Proude when
some See us doing CA..
- Mass bunk 4 a film.. -
Shortage of pocket
money:P
But Still They r Proud to b a
CA students!
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Father of a CA student : beta. Is Baar Exam Me 90% Marks Lana. ok .
Beta: nhi 90% nhi 100% marks lawonga

Father: Q mazak kr rahe ho
.
.
.
Beta: Shuru Kis Ne Kiya???
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Statement of boys who are unsuccessful in making girlfriends during CA:
CPT: Meri toh pehle se hai..
Articleship: Chalo try Karenge..
Classes: Apni class me koi dhang ki nahi hai..
3rd year of Articleship: Juniors bhi selfish hai..
On Audit: Bhai kisise intro karvade..

Articleship about to complete: Koi bhi chalengi..
FINAL: Mere pass time nahi tha varna..
Finally a CA: Dekha puri degree ho gayi par, aaj tak kisiko bhav nahi diya!
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CA is formed of two words...
"Chartered Accountant"

ChartareD menz infinite or anant (in hindi)


CA means such a person who has infintE mental capabilitY of doing anyThing :-)
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Emotional Story of every CA student frown emoticon tongue emoticon
Kal raat book meri taraf dekhti rhi,
Aur nind mujhe apni taraf khichti rhi
Nind ka jhoka mera man moh gaya
.
.
.
Aur kal raat fir ek CA studnet bina paadhe so gaya.
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chartered accountant jokes

CA : The Amount Of Money Spent On Photocopies Over A Span Of Four Years Is Sufficient Enough To Buy A New Xerox Machine :P haha
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Indian chartered accountant funny jokes

Once Einstein and A CA are sitting next to each other on a long flight. Einstein says,"Let's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me only $ 5 and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500. "

Einstein asks the first question: What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?

CA doesn't say a word, reaches his pocket and pulls out a $ 5.


Now, it's CA's
turn. He asks Einstein,"What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down on 4 legs? "

Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends. After an hour,he gives CA $500.

Einstein going nuts and asks,"Well,so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

CA reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $ 5."

EINSTEIN SHOCKS...CA ROCKS.
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Words by a C.A.Students

Jab se CA start kiya h society k security guard ko hata diya gya h
.
.
.
Society valo ka kehna h ki ye sari rat jagta h to guard ki kya jarurat ?
or kch ho na ho CA ne mjhe bina salary ka GUARD jarur bana diya:P
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CA students funny quotes

When All World Are Sleeping : CA's Awake...
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funny chartered accountant jokes


CA student completed full syllabus and revised twice before exam...
.
.

For more jokes Stay tuned !
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CA "Ab toh bas ek he hai sapna.. Is baar CA jarur hai banna.. ...

Saalo se jo khawab dekhe hai.. Ab unko pura hai karna.. Is baar CA jarur hai banna..

Har attempt mein jo Failure dekhe hai.. unhe Success mein ab hai convert karna Is baar CA jarur hai banna…


Maana struggle karna hai, hum karenge.. Din raat jag kar padhna hoga.. toh padhenge.. RTP aur Practice Manual bhi solve karenge.. Cost
ing aur DT ko strong karenge aur ISCA ko ratenge… Kuch bhi hai karna par Is baar CA jarur hai banna…

Attempt pe attempt ka silsila jo sadiyon se chala aa raha hai Usko khatam hai karna.. 6 months ke opportunity loss ko contribution mein hai convert karna Kuch bhi hai karna par Iss baar CA jarur hai banna…

Jo humpe comments karte hai un sabko ab chup hai karna.. Ab tab bahut taane sunte aaye hai.. un taano ko taarif mein hai convert karna Kuch bhi hai karna par Iss baar CA jarur hai banna… Jitna tuff paper banana hai banalo ICAI Hum nahi darenge.. Rok sako toh rok lo Iss baar CA jarur banege.
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