Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Hyderabadi Funny Jokes,Comedy Shayari,Quotes,Dialogues And All Funny Stuff

Here I'm going to share funny Hyderabadi jokes, comedy Hyderabadi Hindi dialogues, Shayari, SMS, and lot more things to enjoy 😆


hyderabadi funny jokes

Hyderabadi Customer : Merku Cheque Deposit Karna Hai Kab Tak Clear Karte.

Banker: 2 ya 3 Din Mein Clear Hojata.

Customer: Dono Banks To Amne Samne Ich Hai Phir Itti Der Kaiku.

Banker : Sir, Procedure Follow Karna Padhta, Agar Ap Qabristan Ke Bahar Accident Mein Margaye To Apku Ghar Ku Leke Jate, Gusal Dete, Kafan Pehnate, Janaze Ki Namaz Padhate. Ya Phir Marte Ich Samne Ke Qabristan Mein Dafan Karte.

Customer : Aise khartarnak example nakko de re bawa, samajh gaya main
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Ek Farmhouse me Kittey ki ghode rehte usme se ek ghoda bimaar hojata...
maalik veterinary doctor bulata

doctor:ye ghode ku infection hogaya, teen din dekhenge agar sahi hogaya to thik hai naito maar dena padta warna dusre ghodon ku b infection hojaata..

ghode ka pakka dost ek bakra rehta une idea se poore baatan sunleta..abb jaake ghode ku bolta
Bakra: mama tumarku teen din me maardete bolre yaaro nakko karo aisa uth k bhaago pinda....
lekin ghoda nai uthta
do din baad..

Bakra:Arey uth jaa re bhai ek ich din bache va hai naito kal baigan me miljaata
fir b nai uthta ghoda

Maalik aur doctor dono ghode ku maarne k injection'an tayyar karte rehte
bakra dekhleta fir ghode kane jaata

Bakra:Ab to injection b ready hai terku maarne ka uth jaa..
Abb ghoda b kiraak hojaata aur uth k ground me bhaag na shuru kardeta..
Maalik: Ababababaaa! kya bhaagra yaro..

sahi hogaya apna ghoda..
yeich khushi me aaj jashan hunga.....
kidar hai bakra lao....
katinge..

Moral of the story:
zyada hamdardi nakko karo, overacting me andar hojate
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Girl: kya karre the

Boy : izzat ki dor ko uljhano ki jakad aur kashmakash se azad karra tha

Girl: Matlab

Boy : payjame k naade ku gheenti pad gai kholra tha ji zor se aara

Girl : aghoosh e ghunoodgi ki bahon me simat jaa ae mohalle k bashinde

Boy: Matlab

Girl : marjaa kutte
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Use Chaha b To izhar karna nahi aaya,
Bit gai umar par hume pyar karna nahi aaya,

Usne magi b to judai magi aur hume inkar karna b nahi aaya..
aur uneh batroom me baitha magar pani nahi aya haha
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Hyderabadi: "South Zone"
Telegu People: "South JONE"
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Me : Apki pic send karo na ji :)
She : Kaiku kya karna hai??
Me : Chote Bacche ku daraake sulana hai
#‪‎Blocked‬
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"Zindagi itti sarki hogayi, neend hushaar hue takk din khatam hojaara, aankh lagey takk raat guzar jaari.."
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Boys ,when girl mesg for first time.
Girl : Hi

Boy :(khushi se) Ji wo apne walime me kitne log aainge apki taraf se ? Wo bawarchi ku advance dene poocha .
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Girl: aap kya karte

Boy: ji businessman hu

Girl: konsa business

Boy: sophisticated manual elastic holding devices

Girl: woww amazing ! Kya rehta wo

Boy: ji naadey bechtum bandi pe

Girl : marja kutte
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DOCTOR: Mareez ko agar 1 ghanta pahile late tho hum isey bacha pate...

ME: Sala Aadhe ghante pahile tho accident howa, phir 1 ghanta pahile g marane late hospital ko.
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Hyderabadi Wife:- Dp Toh Mast Dikhri Na G Tumari

Husband:- Shukriya Meri Jaan
Wife :- Shirt Toh "Usman" Hai G ApKa

Hus:- Usman ? ?

Wife :- Usman Nai Maloom ? Usman Bole Toh Loga Dekhte Ki Amma Usman Shirt Dikhra Bolte Na G

Hus :- Gosh Wale Usman Bhai Dikhrau Bolri Kya Tu Meku

Wife :- Aaji Usman Bole Toh ... Tum Hamesha Chindi Kapde Pente Pente Acche Kapde Pen Liye Na Ab. Ekdum "Usman" Dikhre Aap Meku ...

Hus :- Aaiieenn Chindi Kapde  Kaun Toh Bhi Usman Bhai Gey ?  Plumber Usman Bhai Bolri Kya Jis Ka Bazuk Wali Ke Saat Chakkar Chalra So

Wife :- Aaii Thu Ba  Woh Chulguza Kaiku Yaad Aagaya Tumare Ku Ab ?

Hus :- Aaiieenn Kaun Usman Gey Phir

Wife :- Tum Ji Tum .... Aur Tumara Shirt Bhi Usman  Nai Maloom Tha Meku Itte Usman Hai So Tum

Hus :- Usman Ki Aisi Ki Taisi

Wife :- Aaii Nakko Bolo Aisa ... Nazar Utaro Usman Dikhrein Tum Aaj

Hus :- Awesome Bolri Kya Tu

Wife :- Awesome Bolte Usku ?  Usman Usman Bolte Jariun Main Bhi Jab Se  Chii Baaa

Hus :- Agey Paagal Aurat.. Hendri Deeeani  Aaj Bata di Tu pakki old city Ki hai so ..
Nikal Diya Dekh Dp Meri Ab

Hyderabadi Wife:- Bina Dp Ke Bhi Usman Dikhte Ji Ap Meku

Husband :- Awesome Gey Awesome  Usman Nai Bolte Sunri
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Dost 1 : baap mai itta handsome hun, goora hun, kiraak gaadi hai angaar body hai, phir be koi
bachi aa k baat tak nai karti re merse, kaiku re ayesa ??

Adwance : are howley ! jab tak apply nai karte, job nai milti re pakit !
Samaj gaye so wale likaaa marte katey
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boy : daadi kya apan hamesha paanch ich rahingey abba, ammi, baji,tum, mai??

Dadi : tu shaadi karle 6 hojate

Boy : phir baji ki shaadi ho jati, unu chale jate, phir paanch

Dadi : tereku bacha hota phir 6 hojate

Boy : phir tum marjate phir paanch hojate...

Dadi : tera murda niklo iflaas kaiku tung karra re dalindar Itti Garmi Me
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So this happens when Starbucks sets shop in Hyderabad.

A guy walks into Starbucks, takes a seat and calls Ismail Bhai, our waiter. Now, our Ismail is a purebred Hyderabadi.

Guy orders: Cafe Latté?

Ismail: Haan laatu, kya hona bolo.

Guy, perplexed: Mocha?

Ismail: Mauka to sabku milta saab, aapku kya hona bolo.

Guy, exasperated: Cappuccino?

Ismail: Arre haulay cuppa kaiku chhinu main, terku kya hona bol re.

Guy runs away.
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Salim Feku: Hamare Bawa itte lambe hai ki Khade Khade chalte Fan ku rok dete
Jahangir: Hamare Bawa bhi lambe ich hai, lekin aise Haule Kaama nai karte....

Salim Feku: My dad is so tall that he would stop a moving fan with his hand
Jahangir: Even my dad is tall but he didn't do such nonsense stuff
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Teacher: Tell me one animal that lives in water?
Ismail Bhai: Are Jahangir, kya bolri yaaron ino? (Jahangir, what is she saying?)

Jahangir: Pani mein kya rahta poochri. (she is asking what lives in water)
Ismail Bhai: Fish madam

Teacher: Good, tell me four more animals that live in water
Ismail Bhai: Are Jahangir, ab kya poochti ustaad ino? (What does she want now?)

Jahangir: pani mein aur kya rahta poochri Ismail bhai
Ismail Bhai: fish ki amma, bawa, akka, anna... yeh bhi nai maloom re isku.. maa ki kirkiri (Doesn't she knows this too, the fish's mom, dad....)
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