Wednesday, 22 June 2016

8 Hilarious Jokes About Obama You Will Die Laughing

obama jokes

Best Obama Jokes Ever

President Obama goes to visit the Queen of England. As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama is warmly welcomed by the Queen.

They are driven in a car to the edge of central London, where they get into a magnificent seventeenth-century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on toward Buckingham Palace and wave to the crowds gathered to greet them. Suddenly the right rear horse lets out the loudest fart ever heard in the British Empire. 

The smell is awful and both passengers put handkerchiefs over their noses. The two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident. Because the smell lingers, the Queen feels she must say something. She turns to President Obama and says, “Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control.”

Obama looks at her and replies, “Your Majesty, I completely understand. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.”
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Obama Jokes One Liners

Plenty of Americans don’t trust Barack Obama because they claim he’s not a “real American” like they are. They have a point; they aren’t like him. He’s too thin.
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Hilarious Anti Obama Jokes

One sunny day in January, 2017, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine standing guard and says, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama. ”The Marine looks at the man and says, “Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here. ”The old man says, “Okay,” and walks away.

The following day the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama. ”The Marine again tells the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here. ”The man thanks him and again just walks away.

The third day the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine, saying, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looks at the Marine and says,“Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.” The Marine snaps to attention, salutes, and says, “See you tomorrow, Sir!”
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A few days ago, Chinese Prime Minister, SumTinWong, was given some basic English Training before he visited Washington to meet president barack Obama...

The Prime Minister's Translator said in Chinese;

When you shake hand with President
Obama... please say, "How are you"

Then Mr. Obama should say; "I am
fine, and you?" You should reply
"me too" . When the meeting starts, I will translate the rest for you

When SumTinWong met Obama,
he mistakenly said "Who are you" (instead of 'how are you')

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor,
"Well, I am Mitchelle's Husband, hahahaha..."
Then SumTinWong replied, "me to..hahahaha"

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
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Narendra modi & Obama were talking in a bar.

A guy came in n asked them wats d discussion about???

Modi: v r planning to kill 14 crore pakistanis & sunny leone!!

Guy: why Sunny Leone??

Suddenly Modi tells Obama: See I told u nobody would care about 14 crore pakistanis !
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An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board; Obama, Julia Gillard, George W. Bush, the Pope and a little girl, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fourth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I can not sacrifice my life and let you have the parachute," and he promptly jumped off the plane.

The pope said, "Little girl, you take the last parachute. You are young and have a whole life to live. I'm old and i've lived my life to the fullest. You need it more."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. Pope. There's a parachute left for you. George Bush took my schoolbag."
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Nawaz Sharif and Obama were flying in an Airplane and discussing political crisis in Pakistan.
Obama told to Nawaz Sharif that “if he throws down ONE CRORE DOLLARS, ONE CRORE people of PAKISTAN will make supplication in favor of him”.

Nawaz Sharif told to Obama that “if he RESIGNS from the position of Prime Minister, EIGHTEEN CRORE people of Pakistan will make supplication in favor of him”.

The Pilot of Airplane who was PAKHTOON, told them that “if he drowns and destroys the airplane, the WHOLE WORLD will make supplication in favor of him”.
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What does O.B.A.M.A. stand for? (One Big A#s Mistake America)
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