Saturday, 19 March 2016

Funny Jokes,Shayari On Holi Festival With Pictures

Me janha janha jata hoon,
Mujhe tera hi chahera dikhta hai,

are nahi, Nahi isme tumahra koi kusur nahi,
Salo sab chahero aaj rangile hai,

Holi Mubarak!

funny shayari for holi
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Aapke life mein mithas ho "cabury " jaise Rounak ho "Asian Paints " jaise Mehal ho "Axe"Jaise Tazgi ho "Colgate"Jaise Aur tension free-rahe "Huggies" Jaise ! "wish u a very very Happy Holi" ! per meri advice zaroor try karna !
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Haqqit samjho ya afsana , apna samjho ya begana, hamara apka rista hai purana isliye farz tha aap ko batana, ki is holi se garmiyan aa gayi, to ab shuru kar do roz nahana .......... 10 din se badbu mar raha hai aur kahta hai ki holi me nahaunga :D
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Ek sardar har sunday holi khelta tha. Ek admi ne puchha”
sardarji aap kyu har sunday holi khelte ho?”

Sardar bola : maine padha hai “sunday is a holiday”.
funny jokes on holi festival

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Holi ki to baat hi judaa hai......
....
Height of misunderstanding in holi

Holi ke din dopahar me....
Pati ghar pahuncha aur bola "aji sunti ho chintu ki mammi 1 glass pani lana to jara....."
....
Patni (being shocked) :- arre aap yha to 4 ghante se jo mere sath tha woh kon tha?
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College ke peehe nadi mein principle doob raha tha.
"pappu"ne dekha or zor zor se chillate hue bhaaga.
Kal chhutti kal chhuti

holi ki aur aur din chhutti
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Gabbar- Holi kab hai? Kab hai Holi?

Frustrated Sambha- Le saale, Aa gayi Holi.
Dekhta hoon kya ukhaad leta hai.
Chilla-chilla ke naak me dum kar rakkha hai.

Jaise tere baap ne koi rang-gulal ki factory laga rakhi ho aur maal bechna ho.

Ya fir pura gaon teri bhaujai lagta hai,
jo tu bechain hai Holi khelne ke liye.

Karega kya tu jaan ke ki Holi kab hai?
Pure Ramgarh ko dawat dega kya?

Ya fir tu Farha Khan ke sath nachega-
Jumping - Jupang, Thumping - Thupang...

Sale karna kya hai tujhe ....
akhiri baar bataye deta hoon aaj hai Holi... Jo karna hai kar le...

Aaj ke baad poochha to sale teri Thakur ke yahan teri naukri laga dunga aur Thakur ko jamalgota khila dunga...
bada aya Holi kab hai.. Holi kab
haI!!

Gabbar - Yaar sorry, Tu to bura maan gaya!
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Holi special POGO joke

samjh naa aaye to dimag na lagaye....jaker Pogo dekhna tongue emoticon

Girl To Boy :
Kaminey tune apni pichkari se mera muh kaala kar diya.
non veg holi jokes

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POLITICAL HOLI

holi ke iss season me bazaar me mil rahi kuch political pichkariyon par ek nazar..

Rahul Gandhi Pichkari - ye mummy se pooch kar chalti hai aur isme se paani kam hawa jyada nikalti hai..company isse yuva logon ki pehli pasand bata rahi hai.

Narendra Modi Pichkari - zor ki awaz ke sath chalti hai..company ka dava hai iss pichkari ke istemal se desh ki sabhi samasyao ka turant hal ho jayega.

 Arvind Kejriwal Pichkari - iske sath paani company free de rahi hai..company ka daava hai ki ye sabse imandar pichkari hai aur 49 din tak hi chalegi.

Sheila Dixit Pichkari - ye pichkari Delhi me bikri ke liye bani thi..par company ka kehna hai Delhi me demand na hone ke kaaran ab ye Kerala me bik rahi hai.

Sonia Gandi Pichkari - ye special pichkari hai jo bina saamne nazar aaye chalti hai..company isse italy se import kar rahi hai.

Digvijay Singh Pichkari - ye bahut khatarnak pichkari hai jo jab chalti hai kuch panga hi karti hai..company ka kehna hai ki iske istemal se hone wale bawal se company ka koi sambandh nahi.

Manmohan Singh Pichkari - iss pichkari me silencer fit hai bina awaz saalon saal chalti hai..company ka kehna hai ki iski quality ka faisla itihas karega.

Mamta Banerjee Pichkari - yeh pichkari sab "didi" log ke liye hai..company iske sath "anna" brand rang ka packet free baant rahi hai.

Mayawati Pichkari - yeh pichkari sab "behenji" aur "pichhde/dalit" log ke liye hai..company sath me "haathi" chaap kala rang free baant rahi hai.

Raj Thakre Pichkari - yeh pichkari sirf mumbai me bik rahi hai aur sirf uttar bhartiyo par chalti hai..company ka kehna hai ki ye sirf marathi maanush ke istemal liye bani hai gair marathi nahi chala sakte.

Lalu Mulayam Paswan Pichkari - ye pichkari sirf muslim logon ke chalane ke liye banayi gayi hai..hinduon ke liye company ne iski bikri par rok laga rakhi hai.

Jayalalitha Pichkari - ye pichkari tamilnadu me bahut demand me hai..company iske sath bahut kuch free de rahi hai jaise chawal, sari, tv etc. aur tyohar ke season me special offer ke chalte ye pichkari khareedne walo ke jail me band rishtedar bhi riha kiye ja rahe hai.

Khair ji..raajneeti to hoti rahegi..aap sabhi ko HAPPY HOLI.
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A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this exam," she says.She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything..."

He returns her gaze, "Anything?""Anything."His voice softens, "Anything?""Anything," she repeats again. His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you ... study?
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It can happen only in Indian Movies

Baghban:Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, ie from March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day,

which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September!

u all may know that.............

Now for cricket fans..........to enhance their movie cricket rules........

Lagaan: Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie.

Amar Akbar Anthony :Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person.

It can happen because that scene was very emotional..

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha:Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America ?????? Well,! well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways.................

International Khiladi + Domestic Flight = International Flight + Khiladiyon ka khiladi

ra one : when sharukh khan dies, being a south indian he was given a christian funeral but later we see kareena kapoor uske asthiyo ko paani me baha deti hai, this was a big mistake no one noticed..

In Krish , Priety got pregnant when Hrithik was not with her in 2 years.

dhoom 2. . abhishek bachan jumps off the cliff. . straight on the shoulders of hrithik on a parachute ."

N last one is an epic
"Sholay" where (now) jaya bachchan lights a lantern in the beginning as there is no electricity in the village..andDharmendra is on a water tank to commit suicide.

Paani ki tanki me bina electriicity ke paani upar kya Thakur chadta tha??????
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