Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Railway & IRCTC Hilarious Jokes Collection

Train me 1 ladke ne T.T. Se kaha

Mujhe subah 4 baje patiala utha dijiye ga, main na jagu to jabardasti utar dijiyega. Muje subah interview dena hai.


Subah 8 baje ladka jaga to patiala nikal gaya tha...!

Ladka TT ko maa bahen ki galiyan dene lga..!

Logo ne TT se kaha ke wo apko galiyan de raha hai
aur app chup-chap sun rahe hai.!!


TT- Main ye soch raha hun ki...
Subah jisko maine Zabardasti utar diya hai...
Woh kitni galiyan de raha hoga !
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  • We are against reservation. - IRCTC
  • IRCTC: India's favorite massively multi-player online adventure game.
  • IRCTC is the only website which takes the same time to load irrespective of the speed of your Internet connection.
  • Dear Sachin, scoring Century against Railways is not a big deal - Try booking a Ticket in IRCTC once.
  • A lot of people think IRCTC's tagline is 'This webpage is not available'.
  • When it comes to queuing up, IRCTC / Indian Railways can beat Apple any day.
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Give me some sunshine ,
Give me some rain,
Give me another chance ,
I wanna book my ticket once again ...
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Passenger: I have a Waitlisted - 1 ticket. Is it possible to get a reserved seat somewhere? (Thrusts money into the TTE's hand)
TTE: I think I'll give you a wide berth.
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Q: How do you get away with the perfect crime?
A: Murder someone and hide the body in the IRCTC's "Booking Successful" page
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"IRCTC is short form for I Refuse Connectivity To Customers."

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Book a ticket on IRCTC for your girlfriend. Nothing says I love you, more than that gesture.
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Going by current IRCTC standards, If you enter a link when the train starts, the Free Wifi will load the website by the time the journey ends.
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funny indian railway jokes

Anger/Stress management classes should have booking a tatkal ticket through IRCTC as the final exam.
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IRCTC: Indian Railway's Concept of Torturing Citizens.
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Lame,but what the hell...
IRCTC Tatkal of Duty-Modern Trainfare 3
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The real competition in India is not seen during IITJEE, CAT or UPSC. It's seen every morning at 10am.
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Even Rajnikanth can not book a ticket thru IRCTC.
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IRCTC site says "Congratulations! You have successfully booked a ticket."
Even they realize how big an achievement it is!
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The best site or you can say the best possible way to test two things on this planet
1. Anger
2. Patience
If any day you want to test both these things try opening irctc site between 10am to 12 pm.
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Turtle: Nothing is slower than me!
Snail: Lol u sure?
Internet Explorer: BITCH PLEASE..
IRCTC : Awaaz Niche!! ;)
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IRCTC's Favourite Song: 'Jaane Nahi Denge Tujhe, Jaane Tujhe Denge Nahi' from 3 Idiots.
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Few years back in a press conference , frustrated by questions on the speed of IRCTC, Manmohan Singh said that he will talk to the people only after ensuring that every citizen of india can book a ticket on IRCTC, at one go!
Now we know the reason... ;)


If life was IRCTC where everyone would try their shot at success even after so many failures,irrespective of the probability being so low..ready to put in the required effort..the perseverance to keep trying...the determination and desperation to get the job done...If people were as dedicated towards their goal in life as they are to get a train reservation done..Then everybody would be having their ticket to happiness.
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From a quote,
"Going forward, web browsers should be IRCTC Certified."
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indian railway funny quotes

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