Sunday, 13 March 2016

Funny Jokes On Vijay Mallya With Hilarious Images

vijay mallya jokes

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Best Solution for Vijay Mallya: All Vijay Mallya needs right now is a statement saying he was harassed by Modi and he's left India due to "Intolerance"...

Nitish Kumar will immediately make him "Bihar ka beta"  

Communist Party will announce him as next "Star Campaigner" in West Bengal. 

Rahul Gandhi and Kejriwal will personally visit his London Home and claim how Modi Govt is killing all such "honest businessman". 

Barkha Dutt will visit his home in London and find out that he cannot even manage a decent meal. 

And finally, - JNU students will shout slogans - "Mallya hum sharminda hain, tujhe loan dene wale abhitak jinda hain
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vijay mallya funny jokes

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Vijay Mallya loots India of 9000 crores. !

Sharad Pawar's reaction -
LOL ! Chillar Chor !
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jokes on vijay mallya's kingfisher beer

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Lalit Modi - Not Returning India
Vijay Mallya- Not Repaying India
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vijay mallya bank loans jokes

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vijay mallya bankruptcy jokes

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I can't withdraw more than 20,000 rupees a day from my account. He withdrew 215 Cr and left the country.

The minimum account balance I need to maintain is 0. But he can maintain a minimum balance of Rs -1500 Cr.

I work quite hard and my last birthday party was thrown by a friend on his brother-in-law's terrace; I spent 200 bucks on cab. When he turned 60 this year he burnt 90 Cr on his birthday party on a private island in Goa, and flew down Enrique.

I pay my modest EMI on time fearing phone calls and letters from the bank. He owes Rs 7000 Cr to 17 banks and nobody knows on which number he's available or where to send the damned letters.

If I owed the amount of money he owed, I would have taken a bus or hitched a drive for free (to save whatever little I have left) to escape my debtors. But he took a chartered jet and flew to a private estate near London.
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vijay mallya arrest bail trolls

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Epic comparison between Sri sri and Mallya ..Sri sri teaches Art of Living ..Mallya taught us the Art of Leaving ..one cleans the banks of Yamuna...the other cleans out banks of India.
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Sir- samjho ki vijay ne tumse 10 crore rupay liye...aur bola ki 3 mahine me isko double karke dunga...toh tumko kitne paise milenge batao ?

student- Zero

sir - bewakoof , maths nahi jante kya?

student - maths janta hu sir...par lagta hai shayad aap vijay ko nahi jante.

sir- kon vijay?

student- vijay...vijay mallya :D
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Lalit Modi & Vijay Mallya can start BPL (Bhagoda Premier League).
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Vijay Mallya ka calender is saal bhi chapega...lekin is baar models ki jagah bankers nange honge !
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Sunil Gavaskar : My son is the biggest loser of all times...
Amitabh Bachchan : No, mine is...
Vijay Mallya : Have you met mine ?
Jeetender: Have u heard abt my son?
Sonia : Guys please
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Normally,
When a person dies,
His spirit leaves and his body is left behind.

But as a Special One Time Phenomenon....
Which has created History,

Vijay Mallya's Body has left and his Spirit is left behind !!!
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Terrorists enter KINGFISHER flight & after seeing sexy air hostesses, they force all air hostesses to get nude.
All girls lie down naked..
1 hostess asked: Is it really a Hijack or just a routine Board of Directors Meeting?
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How to avoid "Want Loan" calls from banks.

Bank : Sir this is Valarmathi calling from Bank of Buruda. Would you be interested in a loan?

Me : Sure.. Why not?

Bank : Your good name sir?

Me : Vijay Mallya

*Blocked by bank*
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Dawood Bomb blast karke bhag gya

Mallya 9000 crore leke bhag gya

Aur police pakadegi kisko

Jo helmet nahi pehente
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Bajrangi bhaijaan 2- coming soon. ......

This time salman khan goes to London to bring Back Vijay Mallya !
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Kingfisher Airhostess : Sir Kya Lenge?
Pandit : Puri-Sabzi, Halwa, Khir, Laddu ..
Airhostess : Sir Aap Plane Me Aaye Hai..
Vijay Mallya Ke Shradh Me Nahi
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Finally, Mallya is arrested in UK. Kudos to Rahul Gandhi for continuously pressurizing the Govt on the issue. Hope for Mallya's extradition!
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Mallya: Bhai, arrest hua hu..Lawyer ka no. de de apna
Salman Bhai: Done
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Vijay Mallya to change his name to Vijay Bailliya.
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Post bail Mallya must be singing 'Duma dum mast calendar..."
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Vijay Mallya gets bail within 3 hours of arrest in London. The British judicial system is truly the father of the Indian judicial system.
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Vijay Mallya got bail faster than Salman Khan
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Even IPL's Strategic time out lasts longer than Vijay Mallya 's arrest.
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VIjay Mallya gets bail 3 hours after arrest. The only Indian that's quicker than him is MS Dhoni behind the stumps.
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Kids : Salman Khan

Men : Sanjay Dutt

Legends : #VijayMallya 

Bail in less than 3 hours.
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