Sunday, 27 March 2016

Funny Interview Jokes,One Liners,Questions Answers,Pictures

Santa Singh Interview Ke Liye Gaya. Naukri Already Boss Ke Salle Ko Mil Chuki Theeee.
Par Formality Ke Liye Interview Jarrori Tha.

Isliye Aise Sawaal Pucche Ja Rahe Thee Jinka Kol Matlab Nahin Tha.

Santa Ki Bari Aaye...


Interviewer : Aap Nadi Ke Beech Ek Boat Par Ho Aur Apke Paas 2 Cigarettes Ke Alawa Kuch Bhi Nahin Hai.
Apko 1 cigarette Jallane Hai. ? Kaise Jalogee ?

Santa Singh Very Serious. ...

Sir Iske 3-4 Solutions Ho Sakte Hai...
,
,
,
Interviewer Shocked Lekin Kaha Bataooo.

Santa Ke Out Of The World Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it
in the Water. So the boat will become
LIGHTER…….. using this LIGHTER you
can light the other Cigarette

Interviewer:- Kya Bakwas Hai...

Santa's another deadly answer.

Scroll down a
little



Another solution: You throw a cigarette
up and catch it. Catches win Matches.
Using the matches that you win, you
can light the cigarette

Interviewer:-Stupid

Santa :- Sir one more Solution….

scroll down…



Take water in your hand and drop it
drop by drop…(TIP – TIP)

Interviewer:- Abey Gadhe Usse Kya hoga..

Santa:- Sir Apne Wo Gana Nahin Suna

“TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne aag lagayee.”
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee”…


Santa:- Sir If that was not enough, i have one more solution….

scroll down

Start praising one cigarette, The other
will get jealous & “jalney lagega”

Interviewer:- Santa ji Aapke Pair Kidhar Hai !
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Ek baar ek aadmi IAS interview k liye gya..
Interviewer:" Hmare desh ko ajadi kab mili ??
Man:" koshishe bahut pehle shuru ho gyi the par safalta 1947 me mili..

Interviewer:" azadi k ladai me kaun kaun involve tha ??
Man:" waese to kayi log involve the.. agar kisi ek ka naam lunga to baki ke sath nainsafi hogi.

Inteviewer:" bhrastachar india k main enemy hai ??
Man:" ek commitee is bare me research kar rahi hai.. jaese wo report degi mai jawab de dunga
aapko..

sab bahut impress huye and uss aadmi se bahar baithne ko kaha aur ye bhi kaha k kisi ko
questions na btaye kyuk sab se wohi ques puche jayenge..

Bahar santa baitha hota hai wo uss aadmi se ques puchta hai to wo mana kar deta hai batane
se.

to santa kehta hai:" achha to answers hi bata do..
aadmi sochta hai ques batane se mana kiya gya tha..

answer to bata hi skta hu.. wo sare answers bata deta hai..
Agli bari santa k hoti h.. wo andar jata hai..

Interviewers:" tum kab paida huye..???
Santa:" koshishe bahut pehle se shuru kar di thi par safalta 1947 me mili..

Interviewers:" tmhare pita ka naam kya hai ??
Santa:" iss kaam me kayi log involve the agar kisi ek ka naam liya to baki logo k sath nainsafi hogi..
Sab shock ho jate hai..

Interviewers:" tum pagal ho ??
Santa:" ek committee is bare me research kar rahi hai.. jaese wo apni reports degi mai aapko
jawab de dunga.
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Funny questions asked by upsc(IAS)selection members during interview.
Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of mind and the right
answer at right time.

This is very important during interview especially in upcs selection process. Even if u don’t
know the answer for a question just confuse the questioner .One who are preparing for IAS exam should read this article.it may them as study material.

These questions are unexpected and might demand weird answers. However, what we fail to understand at that moment is that these funny and weird questions actually command an answer that judges your capability of maintaining your presence of mind in the most stressful situation.

Here the Question and the Answer given by Candidates Oh sorry!! They are IAS (Indian
Administrative Service) Officers now.

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all
it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? 
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find! an elephant with one hand.
(UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? 
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night.
(UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? 
A. It will become
Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple ? A : The other half. (UPSC – IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Lunch and Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented ? 
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state? 
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )

Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round…..No one will GET second chance to impress….Very very Impressive Questions and Answers…..

Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a busstop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

* An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
* An old friend who once saved your life.
* The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well thatthere could only be one passenger in your car? This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

He simply answered: “I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to “Think Outside
of the Box.”

Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister? The candidate who was selected answered ” I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir”

Question 3:Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) – What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.
Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong
way, she said later when asked.

Question 4:Interviewer : He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?  
Candidate: Instantly replied “Tea”He got selected.You know how and why did he say “ TEA” when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.
(Answer: The question was “What is before you ( U – alphabet) Reply was “TEA” ( T –
alphabet)Alphabet “T” was before Alphabet “U”

Question 5: Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his “First Diwali”?
People will start thinking of Ayodhya, Mithila [Janak's place], Lankaetc…But the logic is, Diwaliwas a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes afterRaamavathaar.So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!

Question6; Interviewer said “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!”

The boy thought for awhile and said, “my choice is one really difficult question.”
“Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell methis. “What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on thecorrectness of his answer, but he thought for a while andsaid, “ It’s the DAY sir!” “How” the interviewer asked, “Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!” 

And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wickedness. ……. This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. …So now you get a fair idea of the off the box things that you can expect in your

interview. They are judging your confidence levels and your wit. They want to see if these situations make you uncomfortable or even nervous. They see if you have problem solving capabilities when faced with unexpected troubles. Sometimes the reason for asking these questions can be literally to check your sense of humor or creativity.funny right??
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Honest Job Interview

1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you called me first.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation...

5. What is your biggest strength?
I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the fate of company.

6. What is your biggest weakness?
Girls

7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to get more money, so I am here today.

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

9. Describe a challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your previous job.

11. What do you want from this job?
No work and good hikes.

12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Making more money and for that I keep switching jobs every two years.

13. What do you know about our company?
I knew you will ask me this question. So, I've gone through your website.

14. What salary are you expecting?
Well, no one will change his job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting right now. I know you will bargain on whatever I ask. So I have already hiked my current salary by 30%.
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I was at a job interview today. The interviewer said to me, "On your CV, it says that you are a man of mystery."

I said, "That's correct."

He said, "Would you like to elaborate?"

I said, "No."
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interview puns

AN ARAB INTERVIEW TO U.S. EMBASSY! CONSULTANT:

What Is Your Name?

ARAB: Abdul Aziz, Sir

CONSULTANT: Sex?

ARAB: Six To Ten Times A Week

CONSULTANT: No No, I Mean Male Or Female?

ARAB: Both, Male And Female And Sometimes Even Camels

CONSULTANT: Holy Cow

ARAB: Yes, Cows And Dogs Too

CONSULTANT: Man, Isnt It Hostile?

ARAB: Horse Style, Dog Style, Any Style

CONSULTANT: Ohhh Dear

ARAB: Deer? Nop, They Run Too Fast :D
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funny interview jokes

Employer: How long did you work during your last job?
Candidate: 30 years
Employer : Whats your age?
Candidate: 20 years
Employer: You are 20 and have 30 years experience. How is that possible?
Candidate: Overtime
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best jokes for an interview

"Why should we hire you?"

I have a lot of experience.

"With what, specifically?"
Sleeping
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JOB INTERVIEW for a woman secretary...
The boss asked these 4 girls the same question as he interviewed them 1 by 1...
BOSS Question: A woman normally has two different lips right, whats the difference between the two?

1st girl: the one is hairy & the other isnt
BOSS: Ok good

2nd girl: the one can talk but the other cant
BOSS: thats better

3rd girl: One is vertical & the other is Horizontal
BOSS: mmmh clever

4th girl: One is for my use & the other is for the Boss...
BOSS: congratulations, you are hired!
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funny interview questions and answers

Pathan Interview Dene Jata Hai. . .

Manager: Where Is Abu Dhabi???
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan:- Jis Qabristan Mein Humara Ammi Dabi,
Wohi Thoda Durr Par Abu Dhabi
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Brilliant Interview
Interviewer: There are 50 bricks on an airoplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?
Applicant: That's easy, 49.

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.

Interviewer: Last question. In the end the old lady still died.
Why?
Applicant: Er....I guess she drowned?
Interviewer: No! She was hit by
the brick fallen from the airo plane.
You may leave now
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