tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83117853368234965292024-03-14T09:48:37.197+05:30Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All PunsBest website to get all types of funny jokes,hilarious pictures,jokes to share on whatsapp with your friends,one liners puns,comedy stories,humor quotes and lots more.Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comBlogger233125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-80681825501976606082022-12-30T20:47:00.000+05:302022-12-30T20:47:12.910+05:30Funny Jokes About Introverts - Hilarious Introvert Jokes<h1 style="text-align: left;">Funny introvert jokes, introvert knock knock jokes & funny introvert quotes</h1><p>Why did the introvert bring a ladder to the party? So they could climb out the window early. </p><p>--------------------------</p><p>Why do introverts hate parties? Because they have to socialize with people. </p><p>--------------------------</p><p>How do you know if an introvert is really enjoying themselves at a party? They're standing off to the side, talking to the plants. </p><p>--------------------------</p><p>How do introverts flirt? They give you a brief, one-sentence intro before disappearing for the rest of the evening. Why was the introvert kicked out of the group therapy session? They weren't contributing enough.</p><p>--------------------------</p><div>Why did the introvert keep getting invited to parties? Because he was such a good listener. </div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div><div>What do you get when you cross an introvert with a computer? A quiet machine that does a lot of thinking. </div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div><div>Why do introverts hate small talk? Because it's like having to play ping pong with someone who doesn't know how to play. </div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div><div>What do introverts do at parties? They stand around, looking at their phones, pretending to be busy.</div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div><div>Why do introverts hate public speaking? Because it's like standing in front of a room full of people and saying, "Look at me! Notice me!"</div><div><p>--------------------------</p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Funny facts about less spoken person</h2><p>1. They can talk and chat openly even crack jokes with you on social media but in real life they are ice😩 </p><p>2. They fit pass you for road simply because of their shyness🙍🏻♀️. They can stay indoors for weeks without minding🤦♀️ </p><p>3. Very calculative, clingy, little touch of hot temper, romantic with one they love. They hardly fall in love but once they fall, it's over because they don't joke with that person😘 </p><p>4. They hardly cheat💯. Before you see them, dem don see you(so sensitive). They can read people's mind before you could say it, they rarely have friends and associate in any activities, always not comfortable staying in a place full of people and always like staying alone👌🏽. </p><p>5. They hardly talk in the midst of people but talkative when they are with their lovely one. People usually sees them as too proud people but they are not. </p><p>6. They can endure alot but don't push them or take them for granted because once they decide🤔, you have lost them kpatakpata✌🏽. </p><p>7. They are too emotional😥. They don't easily forget bad things someone did to them🌝. </p><p>8. They hardly share their problems to anybody or ask people for assistance no matter what they are passing through😒 </p><p>9. You won't easily observe the kind of person until you get closer to them🤗 They are unpredictable and stubborn😎 If you're in this table, gather here let's know ourselves.</p><p>--------------------------</p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Funny introvert quotes</h2><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>"I'm not shy, I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't overwhelm you." </li><li>"I'm not a party animal, I'm just a party meerkat." </li><li>"I'm not avoiding people, I'm just saving up my social energy for the really important ones." </li><li>"I'm not a loner, I'm just really good at solo activities." </li><li>"I'm not avoiding social situations, I'm just maximizing my alone time." </li><li>"I'm not anti-social, I'm just selectively social." </li><li>"I'm not a hermit, I'm just a homebody." </li><li>"I'm not a wallflower, I'm just a garden gnome." </li><li>"I'm not avoiding people, I'm just really good at hiding." </li><li>"I'm not rude, I'm just an introvert trying to recharge my batteries in peace."</li></ul><p></p><p>--------------------------</p></div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Introvert knock knock jokes</h2><div><div>Knock knock.</div><div>Who's there?</div><div>Interrupting introvert.</div><div>Interrupting introvert who?</div><div>Never mind, I changed my mind about joining the conversation.</div><div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div></div><div>Knock knock.</div><div>Who's there?</div><div>Introvert.</div><div>Introvert who?</div><div>Introvert the door, I need some alone time.</div><div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div></div><div>Knock knock.</div><div>Who's there?</div><div>Introverted owl.</div><div>Introverted owl who?</div><div>Hoo, I just need a minute to myself.</div><div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div></div><div>Knock knock.</div><div>Who's there?</div><div>Introverted giraffe.</div><div>Introverted giraffe who?</div><div>I just need a little space, okay?</div><div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div></div><div>Knock knock.</div><div>Who's there?</div><div>Introverted elephant.</div><div>Introverted elephant who?</div><div>I just need some time to myself, is that okay?</div><div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div></div><div>Knock knock.</div><div>Who's there?</div><div>Introverted koala.</div><div>Introverted koala who?</div><div>I just need some time to recharge my batteries before I can socialize again.</div></div><div><div><p>--------------------------</p></div></div>Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-84103101907461641262022-12-28T15:49:00.000+05:302022-12-28T15:49:37.998+05:30British Jokes - British People & Empire Puns<h1 style="text-align: left;">Britain Jokes - British People & Empire Puns</h1><p>During the British Raj , it was felt that bonding with the locals would be better if English officers could speak in Punjabi. Accordingly, a Punjabi tutor was arranged for a Gora Major Saab. </p><p>After a month, the tutor felt he had taught the British Major good Punjabi. The Major’s commanding officer in Lahore, the British General, decided to personally test the Major. So, he threw some ink on the table and asked the Major to describe in Punjabi what happened. </p><p>Major: "Aithay ink kinnay giraayi hai?" </p><p>The tutor looked happy but the General was disappointed and asked them to further improve the Punjabi. Another month passed, and it was time for another test. </p><p>The General again threw ink on the table and asked the same question. </p><p>Major replied in his improved style : "Aitthay siyahi kinnay doli hai?" </p><p>The tutor was thrilled, but the General was still not satisfied. So the tutor asked what the General was expecting. </p><p>The General said he would demonstrate and called a desi Punjabi Sergeant to come into the office. The Sergeant walked in, saw the mess and immediately screamed: </p><p>"Oye kanjaro ! Eh mez di maa behen kinne kitti hai?” </p><p>The old General stood up, applauded and announced: "Now, that, gentleman is Punjabi.” !</p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><p>A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job." </p><p>The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job." </p><p>The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another man’s chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job." </p><p>The South African doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few years ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President, now the whole country is looking for a job!"</p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><h2 style="text-align: left;">Funny British humor</h2><div>The teacher asks little Johnny about his weekend. </div><div>“I went to see my nana,” Johnny says. </div><div><br /></div><div>“That’s nice, Johnny,” the teacher replies, “but nana is a baby word, and you’re a big boy, so say grandma.” </div><div><br /></div><div>“I went to see my grandma,” says Johnny. </div><div><br /></div><div>“Good, and how did you get there?” </div><div>Johnny says, “We went on the choo-choo!” </div><div>Teacher says, “That must have been exciting, but big boys say train.” </div><div><br /></div><div>Johnny thinks for a moment and says, “We went to see my…grandma on the train.” </div><div><br /></div><div>“Very good, Johnny. And did you bring a book to read?” </div><div><br /></div><div>Jonny nods his head. “Which book did you bring?” Johnny thinks deeply for a moment, and then says, “Winnie the Shit!”</div><div><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><p>An American was visiting London on business. In an office building he is frantically pressing the elevator button, as he is late for a meeting. </p><p>The British security guard goes to him "Is everything okay sir?" </p><p>The American goes "Your damn elevators are slow!" </p><p>The British security guard goes "No worries sir, it is a busy time of day. The lift will be here shortly."</p><p> The American, at this point impatient goes: "Elevator, you idiot. I'm from America, and we invented the damn thing - it's called an ELEVATOR." </p><p>The British security guard simply smiles and says: "Very true, you did, sir. However, we invented the language, you see. As such, it is called a lift."</p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><p>A man goes to his doctor and says he is deeply depressed. His job stresses him out and he sees no hope for the future. The doctor asks him if he's in a relationship and the man says he is. </p><p>The doctor says, “That’s very positive. There are times when I feel like you do. On those days, when I get back from work, I cuddle my wife and we make love all night, it really helps. See how that goes for you and come back to see me next week. “ The man trudged out of the office. A week later the man returns. He looks happy and relaxed, very different from how he looked when he was last there. The doctor says “You look much better, did you take my advice?” The man says “I certainly did and may I say you have a very lovely home.”</p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><p>A family have a parrot, and after many years, it dies. The wife is distraught, and after a few days, goes to the pet store to get another. The store owner proudly shows off this wonderful colorful specimen, saying it’s the only one he has in store, and it’s free to a good home. </p><p>“But it’s beautiful, how come it’s free”? </p><p>“ Ah” says the owner “it has a rather “choice” vocabulary. </p><p>Y’see, it was handed in by the Madam of the local brothel after the police shut them down last week.”</p><p> “I don’t care, I’ll take it” and off she goes. </p><p>At home, the parrot looks around and squawks “Bloody ‘ell, a new brothel!” The woman is horrified… the parrot carries on.. “Bloody ‘ell, the madam’s fat”… “Bloody ‘ell, it’s warm in ‘ere” … “Bloody ‘ell, gimme a drink”… </p><p>The woman’s two daughters, late teens and early 20’s, hear the commotion and walk in the room “Bloody ‘ell, some new tarts!” </p><p>The girls think it’s hilarious, and burst out laughing, which gets the attention of their dad, who’s out in the garden. He walks in the room and the parrot shrieks “Bloody ‘ell Dave, haven’t seen you for over a week ……..”</p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><h2 style="text-align: left;">American jokes about British</h2><p>A Russian, an American, and a British admiral were having a drink on an American aircraft carrier. They were talking about the bravery of their sailors. </p><p>The Russian said, “I will demonstrate the bravery of our sailors.” He calls a sailor over and says, “Jump off the ship. Swim under it and climb back up.” The sailor promptly salutes and jumps off the flight deck, swims under the ship, climbs up the davits and stands in front of the admiral and salutes. </p><p>The Russian says, “That, gentlemen, is courage." The American says, “That's nothing.” He calls over a PO and says, “I want you to jump off the bows. Swim under the ship to the stern and then return." The PO salutes, jumps off the bow, swims to the stern, and climbs back up to stand in front of the admiral and salutes. </p><p>The American says, “That, gentlemen, is courage." The British admiral says, “That's nothing. Sailor, come here." The matelot comes to attention and salutes. The admiral says, “I want you to climb the highest mast on the carrier, jump off, swim under the boat from bow to stern and then from beam to beam then climb up the mast and do it again." The matelot looks at the admiral and says, “You can fuck right off, sir!” The admiral turns to the other two and says, “And that, gentlemen, is courage."</p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p></div>Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-39441025517639084262022-12-23T22:16:00.003+05:302022-12-23T22:16:18.974+05:30One Night Stand Jokes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgGnVs7iHmnFBqbg68qFaRK1mmMhWIFh3fN-WrDeUUC0uHSaEKeXWIUsyb_dCsZP6xei_pHRAsHarLQPK6lGhXfB5ULE-Y-BJhnCGEKGB_6SwOtCiN3MeSGgC_QAerU4ajumIOcEVocDvxhbDUAbJCjT2VCGf80Slzutq2ij2FxeKEVFdFATGO9yWi/s600/one%20night%20stand%20jokes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="jokes on one night stand" border="0" data-original-height="315" data-original-width="600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgGnVs7iHmnFBqbg68qFaRK1mmMhWIFh3fN-WrDeUUC0uHSaEKeXWIUsyb_dCsZP6xei_pHRAsHarLQPK6lGhXfB5ULE-Y-BJhnCGEKGB_6SwOtCiN3MeSGgC_QAerU4ajumIOcEVocDvxhbDUAbJCjT2VCGf80Slzutq2ij2FxeKEVFdFATGO9yWi/s16000/one%20night%20stand%20jokes.png" title="one night stand jokes" /></a></div><br /><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
She - Lets Go For 'One Night Stand' ??<br />
.<br />
He - I can't even stand<br />
continuously for an hours &<br />
you are asking for a 'One Night<br />
Stand'.<br />
* Blocked *<br />
__________________________________________<br /><br />
A Rat and a Bat had a one night stand and then next day they forget about it.<br />
Why ?<br />
A: Rat gayi Bat gayi ;)<br />
__________________________________________<br />
<br />
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?<br />
He nuts and bolts<br />
__________________________________________<br />
<br /><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.taporibaba.com/2022/12/funny-husband-wife-jokes.html">Funny husband wife jokes</a></li></ul>
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Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-73676257825877552732022-12-06T10:16:00.001+05:302022-12-06T10:16:17.487+05:30Funny husband wife jokes for couples<h1 style="text-align: left;">Funny husband wife jokes</h1><p>One day a married couple was going for a long drive. The husband was behind the wheel. </p><p><b>Wife</b>: Honey I want a divorce. </p><p><b>Husband</b>: Alright. </p><p><b>Wife</b>: I want alimony. I want 40% of your salary every month. </p><p>The husband increased the car speed from 40 to 60 kph. </p><p><b>Wife</b>: I want the car too. </p><p>Now the husband pressed the accelerator hard. They were going 80 in a 50 kph zone. </p><p><b>Wife</b>: I will take the house and the holiday home too. </p><p>The husband accelerated more and now the car was doing 100 kph. </p><p><b>Wife</b>: Don’t you want to say anything? Don’t you want to keep anything? </p><p>Now the husband was heading straight toward a concrete block. </p><p><b>Husband</b>: ‘I already have what I need. The airbag!’ </p><p>It had only a driver’s airbag.</p><p>-----------------------------</p><p>A married couple was walking through a garden, suddenly a dog ran towards them. They both knew it will bite them.</p><p>The husband lifted his wife to let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart. The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little and ran away. </p><p>The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her. But his wife shouted "I've seen people throwing stones & sticks at dogs, this is the first time I see someone trying to throw his wife at a dog"</p><p> *Moral: A Wife is a Wife*</p><p>-----------------------------</p><div>WIFE: Honey let's play a game </div><div>HUSBAND: Okay. What's the game about? </div><div>WIFE: If I mention a country, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a bird, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you'll give me all your salary for this month </div><div>HUSBAND: Okay! And if you fail in your turn, I'll have your salary too right? </div><div>WIFE: (smiles) Yes darling!</div><div>HUSBAND: Okay (stands up ready to run in any direction) </div><div>Wife: are you ready </div><div>Husband: Yes ready </div><div>WIFE: TURKEY Its been 4 HOURS NOW... The husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the Country or the bird Moral lesson... After God, Fear Women!</div><div><p>-----------------------------</p></div><div>Very touching story of a couple - </div><div>A man purchased an Royal Enfield Bullet 350cc. So that could take his girlfriend for long drives. But unfortunately, he was not able to hear his girlfriend's voice while riding on it because of the loud Bullet sound. He got fed up and sold his Bullet n bought Honda Activa. He got married to his girlfriend and one year later. He sold Honda Activa and bought an Royal Enfield Bullet 500 cc.</div><div><p>-----------------------------</p><p>Intelligent answer 😜😜: </p><p>Wife 😡: "Tell me who is STUPID ? You or Me ?" </p><p>Husband: "Dear , everyone knows that, you are so intelligent, you will never marry a STUPID person." 😄😄 😝😜😃😳 </p><p>What a decent way to reply !</p><p>-----------------------------</p><p>Wife: Can you help me in garden? </p><p>Husband: what do you think, i am a gardener?</p><p>Wife: Can you fix door handle? </p><p>Husband: What do you think, i m a carpenter? In the evening when husband came from the work, he saw everything has been fixed. He asked wife who fixed this. ... ... </p><p>Wife: Our neighbor. But he gave me 2 options. Either i should give him burger or a kiss. </p><p>Husband: I am sure you must have given a burger. </p><p>Wife: What do u think, I am "McDonald's ?</p><p>-----------------------------</p><p>Wife sent a message to her husband : Don’t forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office, . . . . and Dolly says hi to you . </p><p>Husband :Who is Dolly ? </p><p>Wife : Nobody, I was just making sure that you read my message</p><p>-----------------------------</p></div><p>A grandson, noticed his grandpa who looked rather tensed. So to break the ice, he asked his grandpa one question while on the way back from school.</p><p>What is the difference between 'Wife' and 'Girlfriend?' Grandpa thought for a minute and Simplified the explanation like this ; </p><p>Listen Son: Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE. At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE. Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time, you play with your MOBILE. TV is (as good as) free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated. TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy, replaceable and portable. Operational costs for TV is often acceptable but for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding. TV has a remote but MOBILE doesn't. Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (you talk and listen), but with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!😝 Last but not least! Yet TVs are superior because TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILES often do 😂 And mobiles can be easily hacked or stolen. Take Care Stick to TV only Issued in Public interest!</p><div><p>-----------------------------</p></div>Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-12451484800981512002021-05-29T17:13:00.001+05:302021-05-29T17:15:46.813+05:30Funny SEO Jokes - Search Engine Optimization Jokes<h1 style="text-align: left;">Funny SEO Jokes - Search Engine Optimization Jokes</h1><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>How does an SEO get a divorce? They Disavow!</li><li>An SEO couple had twins – for the first time they were happy with duplicate content!</li><li>Knock knock. Who’s there? No one because all of your rankings have gone!</li></ul></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIuv1accRWyR4sEnVhPKlPCW5hSn-rqowq79KawhKadjh9DZXEBiPIcmJO3LZUh4n0zlFxiBesRlipm1k59aOD3kKlHh-Jmu8vo53vHrttNcuAf3mIjkz0Udnytw8-7uqqAfGUvCfw39M/s820/seo-expert-jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="SEO expert jokes" border="0" data-original-height="820" data-original-width="720" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIuv1accRWyR4sEnVhPKlPCW5hSn-rqowq79KawhKadjh9DZXEBiPIcmJO3LZUh4n0zlFxiBesRlipm1k59aOD3kKlHh-Jmu8vo53vHrttNcuAf3mIjkz0Udnytw8-7uqqAfGUvCfw39M/w351-h400/seo-expert-jokes.jpg" title="SEO expert jokes" width="351" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyPEt6g39cbFZMym9MyE930KS_2Vw1HVbCB2BflswLBBhBEU5Hhw2Yj8MquytjP56UwASipVf16_SxuLMJlAeR7cfLG1Dj_NOW5-qMrXWe5XmA4UVxXcstDf7-42KuIR9X8_e2YahrzkU/s720/digital-marketing-jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="digital marketing jokes" border="0" data-original-height="627" data-original-width="720" height="349" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyPEt6g39cbFZMym9MyE930KS_2Vw1HVbCB2BflswLBBhBEU5Hhw2Yj8MquytjP56UwASipVf16_SxuLMJlAeR7cfLG1Dj_NOW5-qMrXWe5XmA4UVxXcstDf7-42KuIR9X8_e2YahrzkU/w400-h349/digital-marketing-jokes.jpg" title="funny jokes on digital marketing" width="400" /></a></div><h2 style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Google core algorithm update jokes</h2><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimcLsemjD5ruF2gkc_oE7M9Vt0nEscyYjV7mTk-Gg4O76XiCzB7UZSEiEsZrQI76j983Hvk3xKHdb6Gwq6pSA5ghlFAcO4U_dsjXbNnW_-NJcOJXIUnjNMpP9vSQAj4tO3fASsX1Hg5MY/s1062/google-core-algorithm-update-seo-jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="google core algorithm update seo jokes" border="0" data-original-height="1062" data-original-width="720" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimcLsemjD5ruF2gkc_oE7M9Vt0nEscyYjV7mTk-Gg4O76XiCzB7UZSEiEsZrQI76j983Hvk3xKHdb6Gwq6pSA5ghlFAcO4U_dsjXbNnW_-NJcOJXIUnjNMpP9vSQAj4tO3fASsX1Hg5MY/w271-h400/google-core-algorithm-update-seo-jokes.jpg" title="google core algorithm update seo jokes" width="271" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj80lzzT2ybjkFLxLOLiQqddzxj5uGBltN_d8jmQg2vlHZ77CHAvS2yxKkG6OIYKBKlGL6kdY4veHwsGeLmjjkjN-Yk55FIOncBgGzUd3wmACkdecEuATvrferlUYJe8eoxNnFPuk34mlY/s720/search-engine-optimization-jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="search engine optimization jokes" border="0" data-original-height="580" data-original-width="720" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj80lzzT2ybjkFLxLOLiQqddzxj5uGBltN_d8jmQg2vlHZ77CHAvS2yxKkG6OIYKBKlGL6kdY4veHwsGeLmjjkjN-Yk55FIOncBgGzUd3wmACkdecEuATvrferlUYJe8eoxNnFPuk34mlY/w400-h323/search-engine-optimization-jokes.jpg" title="search engine optimization jokes" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Kk6Ur7w5bFSoNmmsJaxSitcVPBcAjCB6fwReGmVmksZRdMqLOE0KoZDDjUMtRbjoJKgPEm6d23gn2XX6VdFjVy9Xz5WtbY6ZaEhHZfZnI2ixbdA5pt0GYzdd3skexF6vlALO6zKihTo/s773/seo-walks-into-a-bar-pun.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="seo walks into a bar pun" border="0" data-original-height="355" data-original-width="773" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Kk6Ur7w5bFSoNmmsJaxSitcVPBcAjCB6fwReGmVmksZRdMqLOE0KoZDDjUMtRbjoJKgPEm6d23gn2XX6VdFjVy9Xz5WtbY6ZaEhHZfZnI2ixbdA5pt0GYzdd3skexF6vlALO6zKihTo/w400-h184/seo-walks-into-a-bar-pun.png" title="seo walks into a bar pun" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheokaXgsU2mu9x1ad5P3mbqY8hV-h8jZiF7bbDtEZp03zEge5cZTal4X3RtR8VZKeTxT8GXh-fV7cDLwei6OGfwJClQ-TlWHZ7fhizx0nGSPFc2_baEv0VE7sN0kyHHUv4n1k5VAbXwyM/s1200/seo-website-traffic-joke.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="seo-website-traffic-joke" border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="737" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheokaXgsU2mu9x1ad5P3mbqY8hV-h8jZiF7bbDtEZp03zEge5cZTal4X3RtR8VZKeTxT8GXh-fV7cDLwei6OGfwJClQ-TlWHZ7fhizx0nGSPFc2_baEv0VE7sN0kyHHUv4n1k5VAbXwyM/w246-h400/seo-website-traffic-joke.jpg" title="seo-website-traffic-joke" width="246" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRGd9QIAlgXLubNb4gUJxU6vQ9LG-XcKqxiKwlgG3a2fgAYgBSY1CL3aY0REytNRSXS5S2ZK-JY0_ZwteMG1EAq4-I6J7w6AiXO6iB0mWv6YtgEPROOR4ciLKrUjUrEMM7J5_i8_TO9_Y/s960/seo-ranking-jokes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="seo ranking jokes" border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRGd9QIAlgXLubNb4gUJxU6vQ9LG-XcKqxiKwlgG3a2fgAYgBSY1CL3aY0REytNRSXS5S2ZK-JY0_ZwteMG1EAq4-I6J7w6AiXO6iB0mWv6YtgEPROOR4ciLKrUjUrEMM7J5_i8_TO9_Y/w400-h400/seo-ranking-jokes.jpg" title="seo ranking jokes" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-32403930319994001582021-02-03T12:25:00.005+05:302021-02-03T12:25:49.361+05:3025+ Funny Dark Humor Jokes<h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">Best collection of funny dark </span>humor jokes</h1><p><span style="font-family: times;">A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">At the doctors office:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live…"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "Doctor what on earth are you saying?”, clearly chocked, “Tell me what can I do to live at least a little linger, please…"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "Do you eat fried food?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "Yes"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "You must stop!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ill do it" Doc: "Do you eat fat food?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "Yes"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "You must stop!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ok doc" Doc: "Do you stay up late?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ok" Doc: "Do you have sex often?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "Yes!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "You must stop!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "If it’s so that I live more… I’ll do that too"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "Do you smoke?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "Yes"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… I will"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "Do you drink?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "Yes..."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "You must stop!"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Man: "OK doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me, how longer will I live?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Doc: "You will still live for a week… but it will seem like a century.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Who is the fastest reader in the world?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">9/11 victims, they went through 87 stories in 10 seconds!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">A doctor was delivering a baby. He then got it out and the mother wanted to see the baby. The doctor patted it on the back. Then started spanking it, and did it rougher. Then he just slammed it on the table as the nurse tried to stop him.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">The mother was screaming, and the doctor says:</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">“Just yanking your chain! It’s a stillborn!”</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><div><span style="font-family: times;">What do you call a serial killer in the maternity ward?</span></div><p><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Answer: Spawn camper</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">How do you kill 100 flies in 1 swat?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Answer: Slap a Libyan in the face</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><div><span style="font-family: times;">Why’d the woman cross the road?</span></div><p><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Answer: Doesn’t matter, what is she doing outside of the kitchen?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><div><span style="font-family: times;">A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and brown eyes.</span></div><p><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said “Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son truly my child?”</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">The wife replied, “I swear on everything holy that he is your son.” With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered “Thank goodness he didn’t ask about the other three.”</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Patient: “OK.”</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”<br />"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"Mother, why do people die so quickly in our family?"<br />...<br />"Mama?"<br />"Mama?"<br />"Maaaammaaaaaaa!"</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background-color: initial;"><span style="font-family: times;">Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Titanic: „And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!”</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family: times;">More?</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pit bull?</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Just the pit bull.</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: times;">Take some rest!</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">“Madam, your son just called me ugly!"<br /><br />The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some road-kill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"To the morgue."</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"What? But I’m not dead yet!"</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"And we’re not there yet."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">TLittle Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?“<br /><br />Mother: „No, you’ll be getting turkey, like every year!“</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.<br /><br />It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Little Johnny tells his friend, "My grandpa died yesterday."<br /><br />Friend asks, "Oh, how did that happen?"<br /><br />Johnny, "He hit his thumb with a hammer."<br /><br />Friend, "But you can't die of that!"<br /><br />Johnny, "I know but he wouldn't stop screaming and cursing so we had to shoot him."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Doctor to a patient: "I have good and bad news for you. Which one would you like to hear first?"</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"The good one please."</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"I found the diagnosis of your illness, it means you have two days to live."</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"And the bad one?"</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">"I’ve been trying to reach you for two days."</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Patient: Oh Doctor, I’m starting to forget things.</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Doctor: Since when have you had this condition?</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"><span style="font-family: times;">Patient: What condition?</span></span></p><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">---------------------------------------------------------</span></p>Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-89985618723930002072020-11-23T15:52:00.000+05:302020-11-23T15:52:06.242+05:30Networking Jokes - Computer Network Humor<p><span style="color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold;">DNS computer network jokes</span></p><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The best thing about DNSSEC jokes is that you can check if they were told wrong.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">DNS is the root of all problems.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">WHOIS going to tell us a Domain Name joke?</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A forged DNS packet tells the barman: “Need a root?” The next day, no-one can find the bar…</span></li></ul><div><span style="color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Segoe UI, Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, Helvetica Neue, sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcc-86TvvQe3BIpPSkncvuxKj28RbaL2d_BysQtttqzLJYn1tlNmatHBnvhhtgzoJRyz2CeMEPfDoWS7E5XvfcTgaLTIB7BmnIi3Dj9G-wyHUNe0C_EgQr3xuk5nYluNgbPH2_wAdgmRM/s640/funny+computer+networking+jokes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="funny computer networking jokes" border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcc-86TvvQe3BIpPSkncvuxKj28RbaL2d_BysQtttqzLJYn1tlNmatHBnvhhtgzoJRyz2CeMEPfDoWS7E5XvfcTgaLTIB7BmnIi3Dj9G-wyHUNe0C_EgQr3xuk5nYluNgbPH2_wAdgmRM/w320-h240/funny+computer+networking+jokes.png" title="funny computer network jokes" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">Ethernet puns</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I had an Ethernet joke, but somebody else told it at the same time. So I exponentially backed off and tried again.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">{1,Two guys}{2,Hear about}{1,are talking}{2,the dope}{1,in}{2,who confused}{1.full-duplex,}{2,TDM with full-duplex?}</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">LAN jokes can only be told properly if you tell an STP joke first.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">You have to tell a broadcast joke to everybody to find the one who see the fun on it.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Broadcast your own ARP jokes, mine are only funny within the same collision domain.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">ARP jokes are often gratuitous.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">An ARP request goes to McDonald’s and asks for a Big MAC.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I like ARP jokes because it’s so easy to make them appear to originate from other persons.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">How do you catch an Ether bunny? With an Ethernet.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I once went to an ARP restaurant. Thank god I didn’t eat the food! It was poisoned…</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The worst thing about broadcast storm jokes is that everyone’s already heard them a hundred times.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">What does networking seal say? Arp! Arp! Arp!</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A broadcast walks into the bar, everyone stops what they are doing to look…<br />am i the only girl on here or what ?!</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">HTTP Funny Jokes</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The best thing about 404 jokes is… wait, damnit, it’s around here somewhere…</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">There are no more 301 jokes because they have all been moved permanently.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">HTTP 200 jokes are only OK.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The truth is out there. Anybody got the URL?</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">IPv4</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">An IPv4 address walks into a bar and says: “Quick, give me a drink. I am exhausted!”</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The worst thing about protocol jokes is the ridiculous TTL.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I’d tell you the one about the CIDR block, but you’re too classy.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Didn’t we run out of IPv4 jokes?</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">After dropping the packet the IP said it was my best effort.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">RFC1918 jokes are inside jokes.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave… and you don’t get any beer either…”</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Router: It hurts when IP.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Network pray: Dear Lord, Please grant me the ability to punch people in the face over standard TCP/IP.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">We need to find more space for the IPv4 Comedy Roadshow, since all seats are taken.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">There’s no place like 127.0.0.1.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I have told IPv4 joke 254 times. Then it stopped being funny.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I have told IPv4 joke to my friend. He checked checksum and had best effort laugh.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I have tried to tell you IPv4 joke, but you were unreachable.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Yo mama is so used, they call her IPv4.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">“Hello, here’s a packet : “The problem with low MTU jokes is you can”. Hello, here’s a packet : “wait a long time before reading”. Hello, here’s a packet : “it.”</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">192.168.0.1 jokes are best told in private.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Dude 1 : Hey, did you watch that new movie called ‘IP Address’?<br />Dude 2: Which one, original or spoof?</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">IPv6</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The bad thing about IPv6 jokes is that nobody wants to tell them first.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The best part about IPv6 jokes is that you don’t have to make up the punchline for 15 years.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The great thing about Teredo jokes is that you can tell smart jokes even when surrounded by dumb peers.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The problem with IPv6 jokes is they’re long, obscure and no one gets them without a translation.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I know a great IPv6 joke, but I just don’t think you’re ready for it.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">An IPv6 packet walks into a bar. Nobody talks to him.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The great thing about Teredo jokes is that you can tell smart jokes even when surrounded by dumb peers.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I will tell you IPv6 joke, but first I need to tell you IPv4 joke, so you get it.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">If you run IPv6 then you’re a c001:d00d.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">IPv4 is soon dead:beef.</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">Multicast</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Sometimes I feel like a multicast packet. Ask 10 different people how to get somewhere and get 10 different answers.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A multicast packet walks into a bar and leaves by four different exits at the same time.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A multicast packet walks into 100 bars at one time.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Multicast jokes are good, but you can only get them if you bother to listen.</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">NTP</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">An NTP packet calls ahead to make sure the bar’s open. By the time he gets there, it’s closed.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I made an NTP joke once. The timing was perfect.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The trick of telling a good NTP joke is about the timing…</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">QoS</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The great thing about QoS jokes is that you may never know how much attention you are getting.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I’m getting the license plate DSCP EF so I don’t get policed when I’m inside my CAR.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I tried telling a joke, but the better jokes was being prioritized.</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">Routing</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Is “smoke signal” a routable protocol?</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I’d like to tell you the full joke about a BGP table but I don’t think you can remember it all.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The best thing about RIP jokes is that they’re funny 15 more times.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The strange thing about BGP jokes is that they’re borderline funny but everybody repeats them anyway.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A LSA Type 6 packet walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender ignores him.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A LSA Type 2 packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender say’s “here, but don’t leave the area with it.”</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Q. What did the OSPF router say to the other OSPF router ?<br />A. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Five routers walk into a bar. Who gets the car keys? The Designated Router.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Is IS-IS = 0 ?</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">People who tell routing jokes always exceed their time-to-live.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">My new OSPF neighbor told me all his jokes after we said hello to each other. Then he tells me the whole database of jokes every 30 minutes.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I keep telling him all my RIP jokes, but he is passive about it.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I was asking all my neighbors for an EIGRP joke. Didn’t receive all replies, so I am stuck in active.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Son, If I fail to route jokes to this destination, I want you to be my feasible successor. You have good distance.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I told EIGRP all my OSPF jokes. EIGRP said that they are infinite.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I would tell a BGP joke, but everyone probably already knows it.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The great thing about BGP jokes? Anyone can claim they are their own, all you can do is hope your neighbours like them.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I just heard 300.000 BGP jokes.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I was arguing with my neighbor about who will tell great new BGP joke. I was locally more preferred joke teller, but didn’t want to compete with his weight.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Game Lemmings is like static routing. If improperly configured, you loose Lemmings.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A BGP packet walks into a bar. He rudely interrupts anyone talking to him, and says, “I only talk to my neighbors”.</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">Security</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">SSH 1.33 and/or 1.5 protocol jokes are useless.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I heard a great one about IPSEC, but you wouldn’t get it — it’s an inside joke.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">There are no good DH jokes because nobody agrees on the same prime.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The problem with a cryptography joke is that you need to tell a pair of them before anyone understand what’s being said.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Why are ASAs so noisy? They don’t know how to ssh.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">He said he was open to networking, but when we met up, he didn’t make a PEAP.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The great thing about HTTP Upgrade jokes is… wait, someone might be listening, come closer add I’ll whisper.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The great thing about TLS jokes is that you can tell if it’s not original.</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">SNMP</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The problem with SMTP jokes are, you need some good reason to came back after greylisting and tell them again.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">SNMP walks into a bar and gets unknown object identifier.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">You need to tell a authorized POP3 joke before you can have a SMTP laugh.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Unfortunately you need MIB files to understand the best SNMP jokes.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">My name is Bond, James Bond, SNMP agent.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I was going to tell an SMTP joke about Viagra, but my reputation will be devastated.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I was told to come undercover. So I came as SNMP agent.</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">TCP & UDP</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The problem with UDP jokes: I don’t get half of them.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">arrival order packet joke is critical to good a make</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">T he bes thin gabou tTCPfl owcontr oljokesi sthatthey knowwhento backo ff….</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I was promised a three way and all I got was a TCP handshake.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A TCP packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and TCP packet says “yes, a beer”.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I’m going to keep telling you this TCP joke until you get it.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Want to hear a SYN FLOOD joke? -Want to hear a SYN FLOOD joke? -Want to hear a SYN FLOOD joke? -Want to hear a SYN FLOOD joke? -Want to hear a SYN FLOOD joke?</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I dressed up as a UDP packet… I don’t think anyone got it, but I couldn’t tell.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Whats the worst thing about sending a joke in TCP? I’ll keep telling it slower and slower until you get it.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A UDP packet walks into a bar without a checksum. Nobody cares.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">TCP must be religious… Why? Because it all starts with a SYN….</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Adam and Eve where in the Garden of Eden. Snake offered apple to Eve and that was the first SYN.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “SYN flood.” “SYN flood who?” “Knock knock.” …</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">Token Ring</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A token walks into a bar. Another token can’t walk into the bar because it’s afraid of the dog.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">Voice</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I always get jittery when making jokes in real time.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">An RTP packet walks into a bar through the wrong entrance. The barman says “You’re not getting any special treatment”.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The best thing about Delay-Tolerant Networking jokes is that everyone gets them eventually.</span></li></ul><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The bad thing about RTS jokes is, you must first get ready to get them told.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The bad thing about WEP jokes is that they all stink, so better don’t sniff them.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A joke about IEEE 802.15.5 is pointless if you tell it right.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Telling a lot of bluetooth jokes will reduce the bandwidth of your WiFi jokes.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I would tell you a WEP joke, but I need to collect 50,000 packets first.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I was telling joke to my house neighbor over WiFi, but someone interfered.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The problem with 802.11 jokes is they probably go over your head.</span></li></ul><p class="q-text qu-display--block" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">Other</span></p><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I tweeted several IPX/SPX jokes, but they can’t reach the Internet.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">XML jokes are well-formed</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Open Traffic shaping: All packets are equal, but some are more equal than others.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">CRC jokes tend to get repeated until you get them right.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Serial jokes must be told bit by bit.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">An ICMP Redirect walks into a bar. Everybody moves next door.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">See most people talk about the OSI model as having 7 layers but they don’t mention layer 8 where a lot of the problems actually occur.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">When I go to the doctor for a cold and congestion, I usually tell him I have a ton of BECN bits set on the flow of my breathing through my nose.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">CCIE people don’t use steering wheel in their cars. They use CLI.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">CCIE people plan their trips with a route map.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">My new year’s resolution is 1080p.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">“I had a dream.. and there were 1’s and 0’s everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!” – Futurama</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">If you have experienced an ICMP joke, ping me.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">We were supposed to be dressed in disguise. So I dressed as NAT.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A packet walks into an 802.3x bar. The bartender says, “Be with you in a second.”</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A runt packet walks into a bar, the bartender says “You could use a byte.”</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Yo momma so big, she’s got her own OSI layer between L3 and L4, because the Transport layer can’t handle her.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I broke up with my ex girlfriend since we were incompatible at all 7 layers of the OSI stack.. From application to physical.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I once MPLS called my girl friend. She quickly hung up doubting my identity since I kept switching labels.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Caution: Do not stare into the fiber optic laser with remaining good eye.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">How do you get someone with a CCNA off your porch? You pay for your pizza.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I received a Tor joke from someone… have no idea who they are though…</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Have you secured your login properly? Yes, I have turned on CAPS LOCK.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A network engineer was shipwrecked on an island with very few supplies. Taking an inventory, he tallied a pocketknife, a granola bar, and a scrap of fiber. He ate part of the granola bar and started looking for some food. Finding nothing, he figured he didn’t need the fiber anymore, so he dug a small hole and buried it. Half an hour later, a backhoe showed up, dug up the fiber, and rescued the network engineer.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I heard you like vlans so I got you some 802.1ad so you could have vlans in your vlans.</span></li></ul><div><p><span style="color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold;">Chuck Norris </span></p><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">911 is Chuck Norris’ cell phone number.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Chuck Norris doesn’t do TCP handshake – he does TCP roundhouse-kick to initiate the connection.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Chuck Norris is able to answer missed call before it is missed.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Chuck Norris can cut cable from WiFi.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Chuck Norris doesn’t use pickup lines, he simply says, “Now.”</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">The world is moving from IPv4 and going straight to IPv6 because Chuck Norris doesn’t like the number 5!</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">There are no hidden IOS commands. Only those Chuck Norris chooses not to look at!</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Cisco implemented the “test crash” hidden IOS command because it was otherwise impossible to break a router that Chuck Norris had worked on!</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Metric in RIP represents distance between router and Chuck Norris. Lower the distance is, Chuck is closer to punch your packet and send it to grave.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Every VPN is an EasyVPN for Chuck Norris!</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Chuck Norris slayed the Kerberos daemon.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">Chuck Norris ran track in high school and always won the 100 meter frame relay!</span></li></ul><h3 style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; overflow-wrap: anywhere; padding: 0px; text-align: left; word-break: break-word;"><span style="background: none; font-weight: bold;">DHCP</span></h3><ul class="q-box" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #282829; direction: ltr; font-family: -apple-system, sytem-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 2em 1em 0px; padding: 0px;"><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">DHCP jokes are leased.</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px 0px 0.7em; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!</span></li><li class="q-relative" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 0px 2em; padding: 0px; position: relative;"><span style="background: none;">I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope.</span></li></ul></div>Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-26489819383787300262019-06-23T13:04:00.000+05:302019-06-23T13:04:22.081+05:30Funny Inappropriate Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
Funny Inappropriate Jokes</h2>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>A married couple down on their luck decides to make a few extra bucks by reluctantly having the wife work the corner. After the first day, the husband picks her up and asks "how did you do?". She says, "I did pretty well, I made $200.50". He asks, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" and she replies "all of them"</li>
<li>I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!</li>
<li>Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.</li>
<li>A guy and a girl get on an elevator in a hospital. The guy hits three, and asks the girl "which floor?" to which she replies "Four, please."</li>
<li><div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
A vagina is like the weather. Once it's wet, it's time to go inside</div>
</li>
<li><div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
Q: Why was two piece swimsuit invented?</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
A: To separate the hairy from the dairy.</div>
</li>
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">No Vagina Jokes. Those aren't funny. PERIOD. No Period Jokes either. Women might ovary act.</span></span></li>
<li>Q: What do you call the space between the twat and the shitter? A: Twitter</li>
<li><div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; direction: ltr !important; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
A couple had been married for 50 years.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; direction: ltr !important; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; direction: ltr !important; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; direction: ltr !important; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; direction: ltr !important; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; direction: ltr !important; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; direction: ltr !important; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; direction: ltr !important; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; padding: 0px;">
"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."</div>
</li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="direction: ltr !important; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">A guy and a girl get on an elevator in a hospital. The guy hits three, and asks the girl "which floor?" to which she replies "Four, please."</span></span></div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="direction: ltr !important; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Making conversation, the girl says "I'm here to give blood. What are you here for?" </span></span></div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="direction: ltr !important; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">The guy says "I'm actually here to donate sperm. They give me eighty dollars for it." </span></span></div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="direction: ltr !important; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">The girl goes, "Huh. I only get ten dollars for giving plasma." They get off the elevators on their respective floors. </span></span></div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="direction: ltr !important; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">The next week, the same guy gets on the elevator to go give sperm again. Lo and behold, the same girl gets on. "Nice to see you again. What floor, miss?" </span></span></div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="direction: ltr !important; padding: 0px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">"Mmmmph!", she says and holds up three fingers.</span></span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it,"</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley but figured that was too unsafe.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."</div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"></span></span></div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para u-ltr u-text-align--start" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 15px; padding: 0px;">
Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."</div>
</li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<h3>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Magic Penis - Most inappropriate jokes</span></span></li>
</ul>
</h3>
</div>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro, Meiryo, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except... The Magic Penis!'</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The husband said, 'The what'?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis, door!'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The husband bought it and took it home to his wife.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic Penis, my vagina.'</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A Police Officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.'</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right... Magic Penis, my ass...!!!!!!!!!!'</div>
</span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-14176184530239805692019-01-19T13:02:00.001+05:302019-01-19T13:02:19.847+05:30Economics Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">
Funny Jokes On Economics</h2>
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Here are ten ways to tell you might be sitting next to an economist:</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
1. He refuses to listen to the safety announcement because "in the long run, we're all dead."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
2. He keeps telling you that "there is no such thing" as a "complimentary refreshment service."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
3. He avoids prolonged conversation with you because he has a "rational expectation" that you're an idiot since you chose the middle seat</div>
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4. But he offers to trade his aisle seat for yours in a competitive auction with the woman sitting behind you</div>
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5. He plonks his elbow on the armrest because space has a "higher marginal utility" for him than for you</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
6. When he elbows you in the ribs, he says he is simply trying to "nudge" you into better behavior</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
7. When he opens the overhead locker, a copy of Thomas Piketty's "Capital in the 21st century" falls out and hits you on the head</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
8. But then he uses the book as a footrest</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
9. He only relaxes when the plane reaches 35,000 feet because then it's in "general equilibrium."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
10. Spends all the flight scribbling Greek letters into a notebook. Turns out it's not a series of equations; he's part of the IMF negotiating team en route to Athens.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
11. Adds an extra point to a "top 10 list" because he believes in "quantitative reasoning."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
__________________________________________</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. His first day, he meets someone and asks, "What's your IQ?</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"145</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"Wonderful, we can talk about physics."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
The next day, Einstein meets someone else and asks their IQ.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"100"</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"Wonderful, we can talk about music and the arts."</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
The next day, Einstein meets someone else and ask.</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"85"</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
"What do you think interest rates are going to do?"</div>
<div class="ui_qtext_para" style="color: #333333; font-family: q_serif, Georgia, Times, "Times New Roman", "Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro", Meiryo, serif; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px;">
__________________________________________</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-20198106207131416582018-12-18T09:12:00.002+05:302018-12-18T09:12:57.246+05:30Funny Corny Jokes You'll Love Reading<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
Enjoy our funniest collection of corny jokes</h2>
<br />
Q-What do you call an elephant that is unimportant?<br />
-<br />
A-An Irrelephant.<br />
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<br />
What do you call an alligator detective?<br />
<br />
An investi-gator.<br />
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
A father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by Stating,</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
"God bless Mommy; God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."</div>
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The next day grandpa died.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Several months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers that went like this,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."</div>
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<br /></div>
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The next day the grandmother died.</div>
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"Holy crap," thought the father," this child is in contact with the other side."</div>
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<div>
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."</div>
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<div>
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.</div>
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<div>
He was nervous as a cat all day had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be fine.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day, he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When he got home, his wife said,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"I've never seen you work so late. What is the matter?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He said, "I do not want to discuss it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She said, "You think you had a bad day, you will never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting.</div>
</div>
<div>
----------------------------------------------------------------------</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-184076024790639752018-02-06T11:47:00.001+05:302021-05-29T15:48:12.501+05:30100+ Funny Whatsapp Status - You Should Not Miss This Collection<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Hey There, Here you will get best funny whatsapp status...So be prepared to troll your friends ;)</h3>
<div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw24dfGO7E9g9bjdabmuy0KlDKLz1XG4jOwB-piIcI2hSdn3JUesHBxnwqT9OpTQJQ5aMWpBkdA1UNHJMUt_eEt1MJogPnFK_pFPV86LX1-LhGl_kyjktQs6CL2Oe7kuCz0wbRQoSDgps/s1600/Funny+Whatsapp+Status.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="funny whatsapp status" border="0" data-original-height="1056" data-original-width="816" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw24dfGO7E9g9bjdabmuy0KlDKLz1XG4jOwB-piIcI2hSdn3JUesHBxnwqT9OpTQJQ5aMWpBkdA1UNHJMUt_eEt1MJogPnFK_pFPV86LX1-LhGl_kyjktQs6CL2Oe7kuCz0wbRQoSDgps/s640/Funny+Whatsapp+Status.png" title="funny whatsapp status" width="494" /></a></div>
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<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>I will marry the girl, who looks pretty in her Voter id.</li>
<li>God is indeed creative, I mean.. just look at me! :)</li>
<li>We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.</li>
<li>Single but not available ;)</li>
<li>Three mistakes of my life are WTF; WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.</li>
<li>A jealous woman does better research than FBI.</li>
<li>Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one @ss h0le at a time</li>
<li>Whenever I think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think</li>
</ul>
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<br /></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Love is like a fart. If you force it, It’s probably shit</li>
<li>I told cashier- I want to open a joint account with anyone who has lots of money.</li>
<li>Changed my iPhone name to titanic it’s syncing now.</li>
<li>All girls are my sisters except you.</li>
<li> I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.</li>
<li>The only thing I gained so far in 2018 is weight.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>(-_-) x 1.3 Billion people = China</li>
<li>Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.</li>
<li>My damn phone doesn’t allow me a text or call due to the low battery, but it has enough battery to keep screaming, “Low battery, Low battery…</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>A relationship is made for two, but some b!tches are bad in math.</li>
<li>People have become very naughty on whatsapp. Even married women have put their status as AVAILABLE.</li>
<li>You're not entirely useless. You can always serve as a bad example.</li>
<li>My handwriting is not bad, it's just that I have my unique writing font.</li>
</ul>
<h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Funny Whatsapp Status</b></h3></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>“who said nothing is impossible… I have been doing nothing for years.”</li>
<li>“My friend had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from a local zoo.”</li>
<li>“I once had a dog that really believed he was man’s best friend. He kept on borrowing money from me.”</li>
<li>“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad.”</li>
<li>“Regular naps prevent aging, especially if you take them while driving.”</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Scratch here ================ to reveal my status! Thank You.</li>
</ul>
<div>
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</div>
<div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Someone on his status "Sleeping" since 3 days. He's probably dead.</li>
<li>Someone is "Driving" since 5 days! I guess he hasn't reached Dubai!</li>
<li>Someone's status is "Happy" since 1 month. Living in Paradise I guess?</li>
<li>Someone is always "Available".How free are you?</li>
<li>From the first day their status is, "Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp" I Know, that's why you're on my list!</li>
<li>Someone writes "Urgent calls only". Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service?</li>
<li>Someone says, "Can't talk, WhatsApp only". dude then throw away your phone, you're not using the phone's primary function.</li>
<li>Someone is "At the movies" for the past 6 weeks. Either he owns the theater or sells popcorn there, just guessing</li>
<li>Someone's own "At school". What the f##k are we gonna do about your being in school, save us the story, it's all yours not for us.</li>
<li>Someone puts "Busy" for 2 months and a week. She must be very busy probably "picking beans" or breaking melons</li>
<li>This pisses off most, "Battery about to die" for 3 consecutive months. Should we contact PHCN concerning the power situation of your house or buy you new generator?</li>
<li>How can someone be "At the gym" for 4 months?Is he preparing himself for a race against Usain Bolt or he/she want a fight with JOHN CENA?</li>
<li>You're always "In a meeting" then focus on the meeting and quit WhatsApp, or Is WhatsApp the venue for the meeting?</li>
</ul>
<div>
Also, Read</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/02/funny-chain-messages-for-whatsapp.html" target="_blank">Funny Chain Messages To Forward On Whatsapp</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-30423409039254464782018-01-19T09:45:00.001+05:302018-01-19T09:45:43.165+05:30Jokes On Padmavati+Witty Quotes,Tweets,Pictures,Trolls<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Here are the funniest jokes, tweets, memes on Padmavati and Karni sena :)</h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3jza-BL63N2TEisBt_2XC3X-PB0rXUHNtKwsyF4DSZGHcBL6j33hxROHgPePrkM0b4LzLnfNGERyP6aukOXm-nEL1CSLwwYG3835n9UravfDeqgtlXkjZJoMjxemM_iulXy1nTTe5pYU/s1600/jokes+on+padmavati.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="jokes on padmavati" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3jza-BL63N2TEisBt_2XC3X-PB0rXUHNtKwsyF4DSZGHcBL6j33hxROHgPePrkM0b4LzLnfNGERyP6aukOXm-nEL1CSLwwYG3835n9UravfDeqgtlXkjZJoMjxemM_iulXy1nTTe5pYU/s1600/jokes+on+padmavati.png" title="jokes on padmavati" /></a></div>
<br />
Deepika Padukone height is 1.74m, but Rani Padmavati height was 1.75 m. Bhansali is destroying history so<br />
#WeBoycottPadmavati<br />
________________________________________<br />
<br />
Deepika padukone coughs in padmavati movie<br />
<br />
Rajputs: Bhansali destroyed history of rajputs.rani padmavati aise nahi muh par haath rakhke khaansti thi, todo theatre bc.<br />
________________________________________<br />
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Sanjay Leela Bhansali: I will mix shit in food in my restaurant.</div>
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<br /></div>
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People: We boycott it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Smart People : At least taste it before boycotting</div>
</div>
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________________________________________</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Karni Sena basically just wants to watch Padmavati for free. #PadmavatiControversy</div>
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________________________________________</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Who are we?</div>
<div>
Rajput Karni Sena</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What do we want?</div>
<div>
To protect a woman's honour</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
How do we do it?</div>
<div>
By threatening to behead another woman#Padmavati </div>
</div>
<div>
________________________________________</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Deepika " come over, I am alone "</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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Ranveer " will be there in 5 mins"</div>
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<br /></div>
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Karni Sena " Rani saa ke aas paas bhi mat dikhiyo khilji "</div>
</div>
<div>
________________________________________</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Karni Sena: "Hum Deepika ka naak kaat denge"</div>
<div>
Bharni Sena: "Hum bhi"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Karni Sena: "Hum theatre jala denge"</div>
<div>
Bharni Sena: "Hum bhi"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Karni Sena: "Hum Bhansali aur Deepika ka sar kaat denge"</div>
<div>
Bharni Sena: "Hum bhi"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
[Moral of the story]</div>
<div>
Jaisi Karni, waisi Bharni.</div>
</div>
<div>
________________________________________</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Where was the Karni Sena when Premiere Padmini was distorting history? We all know that Rani Padmini wasn't allowed to drive.</div>
<div>
________________________________________</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div>
*Bhansali directing a movie*</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Bhansali: lights camera ACTION</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Karni sena: Maarooo</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Bhansali: Cut Cut</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Karni Sena: saale hamara dialogue churata hai....aur maaro</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
________________________________________</div>
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<br /></div>
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<div>
Dear SL Bhansali,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Please don't distort historical facts which we know nothing about.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yours truly,</div>
<div>
Karni Sena</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
________________________________________</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-6147300160824542342017-12-24T14:56:00.001+05:302018-02-06T11:57:42.482+05:30Here Are Witty Bitcoin Jokes To Tease Your Bitcoin Investor Friends<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Here are some of the most refreshing bitcoin jokes, bitcoin humor & memes</h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwhf0FaULBv-UJx34vxogZWHZCTeLJNuk-4cGRZUh6A9fKy5bA_oj4e83nK-bHo5NVofOJ9pzYBgaNIT_ONxmH46nHMk0T-c5bFifEhpFCqAyKZ48f2VFFqMCA7T1j-S_p-h7bAsWmpWI/s1600/bitcoin+jokes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="bitcoin jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwhf0FaULBv-UJx34vxogZWHZCTeLJNuk-4cGRZUh6A9fKy5bA_oj4e83nK-bHo5NVofOJ9pzYBgaNIT_ONxmH46nHMk0T-c5bFifEhpFCqAyKZ48f2VFFqMCA7T1j-S_p-h7bAsWmpWI/s1600/bitcoin+jokes.png" title="bitcoin jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Colleague: "Had you spent $5000 back when Bitcoin's worth was $100, you'd have 50 Bitcoins. Put all of your money in Bitcoin guy, it is the future"<br />
<br />
Cigarette tapri man: "Maalik pichle hafte ka 72 rupaye udhaar bacha hai"<br />
<br />
Colleague: "Kal doonga pakka god guarantee"<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
Want to Learn about<br />
<br />
BITCOIN?<br />
<br />
A businessman came to a village to buy monkeys.<br />
<br />
He announced he'll purchase the monkeys @ $100 each.<br />
<br />
The villagers believed that this guy is mad.<br />
<br />
They believed how someone can buy stray monkeys at $100 each?<br />
<br />
This information spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and marketed it to the retailer.<br />
<br />
After a couple of days, the retailer announced he'll purchase monkeys @ 200 each.<br />
<br />
The idle villagers also conducted around to catch the rest of the monkeys!<br />
<br />
Then the retailer announced he'll purchase monkeys @ 500 each!<br />
<br />
The villagers begin to shed sleep!<br />
<br />
The villagers were waiting patiently for another announcement.<br />
<br />
Then the retailer announced that he's going home for a week. When he returns, he'll buy reptiles @ 1000 each!<br />
<br />
He asked his worker to look after the monkeys he purchased.<br />
<br />
Then the worker told them that he'll sell some monkeys @ 700 each covertly.<br />
<br />
Since the retailer purchases fighter @ 1000 each, there's a 300 gain for each plane.<br />
<br />
The following day, villagers made a queue close to the monkey cage.<br />
<br />
The worker sold all of the monkeys at 700 each. The wealthy bought reptiles in large lots. The bad borrowed money from money lenders and also purchased monkeys!<br />
<br />
The villagers took good care of the monkeys & waited for the retailer to return.<br />
<br />
... Then they ran to the worker...<br />
<br />
But he's already left too!<br />
<br />
The villagers then realized they've purchased the unworthy stray monkeys @ 700 each and not able to sell them!<br />
The Bitcoin is another monkey business<br />
<br />
That' how it'll work<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Don't Miss The <a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2017/12/stock-market-jokes.html" target="_blank">Stock Market Jokes</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-70111363064889458312017-12-01T18:04:00.000+05:302018-02-06T11:56:39.085+05:30Funniest Humor About Stock Market & Stockbrokers + Witty Quotes,Stories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Seeking stock market jokes? Here you will get the funniest humor about share market & stockbroker with stories, quotes</h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirncrv5dnEV1bTTXITEQxpgZS29JPrRn6_ReFkG3Z_9Ijp-Fo9zQ6FEcjJDlvLj5771nfNR3O19oTYTLNon_Qg8TFo7IzZK2a9cuY6PIvSFXq8vdx-gBOgfrQGlmcm_PiVVCPXYhEEBvk/s1600/stock+market+stockbroker+funny+jokes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="stock market stockbroker funny jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirncrv5dnEV1bTTXITEQxpgZS29JPrRn6_ReFkG3Z_9Ijp-Fo9zQ6FEcjJDlvLj5771nfNR3O19oTYTLNon_Qg8TFo7IzZK2a9cuY6PIvSFXq8vdx-gBOgfrQGlmcm_PiVVCPXYhEEBvk/s1600/stock+market+stockbroker+funny+jokes.png" title="stock market stockbroker funny jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
Stockbroker: What are a million years like to you?<br />
God: Like one second.<br />
<br />
Stockbroker: What are a million dollars like to you?<br />
God: Like one penny.<br />
<br />
Stockbroker: Could I have a penny?<br />
God: Just a second<br />
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<div>
<br /></div>
A brand new investor came to observe a stockbroker.<br />
<br />
"Can you inform me just how much you charge?" said the investor.<br />
<br />
"Of course," the stockbroker replied, "I usually charge 1000 mBTC per question."<br />
<br />
"Well that is a bit steep, isn't it?" Requested that the investor "Yes it is," said the stockbroker, "And what is your 3rd question?<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
The very first rule of investing is not to eliminate money. The principle is not to overlook the first law!<br />
<br />
The current market is weird. Every time one man sells, yet another one purchases and they think they are smart.<br />
<br />
Sometimes your best investments would be the ones which you do not make.<br />
<br />
Profit merely is made after all of your positions are closed.<br />
<br />
Money is apparently there, but the pockets change.<br />
<br />
Bear Market is a six to eighteen month period once the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband has no sex.<br />
<br />
The most effective way to double your money is to fold it and place it in your pocket.<br />
Consistently play with other people's money!<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
BROKER: The person that you trust to assist you to make critical financial decisions. Please note that the first five letters of this word spell "Broke."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
BULL: What your stockbroker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the previous quarter.</div>
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<br /></div>
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MARGIN: It is Where you scribble the latest quotes when you are supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.</div>
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<br /></div>
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SHORT POSITION: a kind of trade where, in theory, an individual sells stocks he does not possess. Since this also only ever works in a trick, a short position is what an individual usually ends being in (i.e., "The rent, sir? Hahaha, well, I'm a little short this month.").</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
COMMISSION: The only safest way to generate money on the stock exchange, which is why your broker charges you one.</div>
</div>
<div>
___________________________________________________</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Once upon a time in a village that a man appeared who declared to the villagers that he'd purchase monkeys to get Rs. 10. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The villagers seeing that there were monkeys went outside in the woods and began catching them. Tens of thousands were bought by the guy at 10 and as distribution began to diminish, and villagers began to stop their attempt he declared that he'd purchase at 20 rupees. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The distribution diminished even farther, and people began going back to their farms. The offer speed increased to 25 and also the source of monkeys became that it was an attempt to even find a fighter let alone grab it. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
The man declared that he'd purchase monkeys! But since he needed to go to the city on a small business his assistant would buy on behalf of this guy. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I will sell them to you at thirty-five, and if the guy comes back, it's possible to sell it to him for 50." </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
The villagers squeezed up with each of their savings and bought the monkeys. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
They never watched the man nor his assistant, just monkeys everywhere!</div>
</div>
<div>
___________________________________________________</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I didn't know about the stock exchange until becoming a senior in school. Here is what happened. There was this guy in my dormitory that the entire four decades of college. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He had been the genius kind with less than perfect eyesight. He had these thick coke-bottle eyeglasses and never went to class, but he always got A. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Instead of going to class, he sat in his room and studied the stock exchange. He'd stock charts all and even had a computer before you could buy them in a shop! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Upon reaching my next year, I realized it was time to get serious about making a living, that I would have to head out and earn some money. So I went down to Speak to Ed. "I'll work as hard as I need to. Inform me how I could wind up with one million bucks in the stock exchange."</div>
<div>
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2017/12/bitcoin-jokes.html" target="_blank">Jokes On Bitcoin</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-70546004597390904602017-07-25T15:18:00.000+05:302017-07-25T15:18:03.081+05:30Funny Knock Knock Jokes ;) Tell Me A Knock Knock Joke<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
In this article we collected a lot of Knock-knock jokes.You will die laughing on this knock knock humor😁</h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq9hBIJ2Lred6-m2NCtK0_dztOE22Ryt0NqkHX3Vl2z_vWY9vXILIdsOgd5Mlv3teXZ1vUmJQ5NScSy-mTx7rtbor1QrFM8-c7RESwEBCOyOsQ_-9cv56z6u_wj6NxSZZTvuSOLpbwYBw/s1600/knock+knock+jokes.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="knock knock jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq9hBIJ2Lred6-m2NCtK0_dztOE22Ryt0NqkHX3Vl2z_vWY9vXILIdsOgd5Mlv3teXZ1vUmJQ5NScSy-mTx7rtbor1QrFM8-c7RESwEBCOyOsQ_-9cv56z6u_wj6NxSZZTvuSOLpbwYBw/s1600/knock+knock+jokes.png" title="knock knock jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Knock knock. Who’s there? An <a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/05/alien-jokes.html" target="_blank">extraterrestrial</a>. Extraterrestrial who? What – how many extra-terrestrials do you know?<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who's there? Beats. Beats who? Beats me.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? The interrupting cow. Interrupting cow whMoooooo!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock.<br />
Who’s there? The door .<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Double. Double who? W!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Iva. Iva who? Iva craving for cookie. Get baking!<br />
<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Yoda lady. Yoda lady who? Good job yodeling!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Why did the chicken cross the road? To hunt somebody down. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Yah! Yah who? Well, no thanks, I’m more of a Google person.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? The interrupting doctor. The interr… You've got cancer.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock
knock. Who’s there? Mark. Mark who? Oh come on, I'm Mark, your… (Mark
breaks up crying over the extent of his dad’s Alzheimer .)<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Urine. Urine who? Urine trouble if you don’t open the door.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No you idiot, cows go mooo!<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there?<br />
Grandpa. Oh my gosh! Somebody open the coffin quick!!!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? Um, no thanks.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock Knock! Who's there? Interrupting raven. Interrupt...<br />
CAAWW!!!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Pavlov. He’d have rung the bell.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock, knock Who's there? Kanga Kanga who? Actually, it’s kangaroo!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Knock. Knock who? Knock Knock.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there?<br />
Aaahh. Aaahh who? A big bad wolf, apparently.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me comin’, dey runnin’.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock! Who's there? Hawaii. Hawaii who?<br />
I'm very well, thank you so much, and Hawaii you?<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock
knock. Who’s there? Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh who? No seriously,
Winnie the Pooh right now, let us in or it lands on your doormat!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Somebody who thinks you should fix your darn doorbell!<br />
<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? No, it should always be “to whom”.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who's there? Doris. Doris who? The Doris locked, why do you think I'm knocking?<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? Yes! I've always known you were a bit nutty!<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Major. Major who? Major day with this joke, haven’t I?<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mavis. Mavis who? Mavis be a warning to you, watch out of silly jokes!<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Freeze. Freeze who? Freeze a jolly good fellow, freeze a jolly good fellow…<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock! Who's there? I got up. I got up who? Best go to the toilet then.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? You see me, do you need glasses or something?<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Armageddon. Armageddon who? Armageddon a little bored. Let’s go out.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Accordion. Accordion who? Accordion to the scientists, it is healthy to offer your friends money.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Ira. Ira who? Ira gret I don’t know better jokes.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Ira. Ira who? Ira gret I don’t know better jokes.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there?<br />
Surgeon. Surgeon who? Surgeon thou shalt find.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Barbie. Barbie who? Let’s Barbie Q!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Moustache! Moustache who?<br />
I thought I moustache you a question, but I can shave it for tomorrow.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Pistachio.
Pistachio who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pistachio. Pistachio who?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? AND ORANGE YOU HAPPY I
DIDN’T SAY PISTACHIO!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock, knock. Who's there? The judge's hammer . You are hereby sentenced to five years of forced labour .<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighbourhood, mind if I come in for a chat?<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Control freak. Co… You should say “Control freak who” now.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Value. Value who? Value be mine to cherish and to hold?<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Lena. Lena who? Lena bit closer and I will show you.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita little love and understanding.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there?<br />
Maia. Maia who? Maiabilities are too great for such stupid jokes.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who's there? Any. Any who? Anybody there?<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Irish.<br />
Irish who? Irish you a nice day.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock
knock. Who’s there? Ho-ho. Ho-ho who? Um, no, you still need to
practice a bit more if you want to be Santa at the mall this year.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Snow.<br />
Snow who? Snow point pretending you don’t know me.<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good place to eat tonight? My treat!<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Dozen.<br />
Dozen who? Dozen all this knocking bother you already?<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? 9/11. 9/11 who? OMG. You said you will never forget.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
Knock knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who?<br />
Ben hoping I can come in.</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-20599192320308166962017-07-24T11:22:00.000+05:302017-07-24T11:22:25.222+05:30Shravan Month Jokes,Shravan Mahina Comedy Puns With Pictures<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZm4TmWRheeSFSvhcQJV3dDlB6ajddru_RDUf0g61OIMEgTBPjrSvMYLQDMZp_ZyfGF0Zv9YbC0j1NFHBVq-ozdS_mCgMP_FlvJClPWiKugwU7CAu88jy4vZMwsC9dGRZSpB7CWYMecDU/s1600/shravan+month+jokes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="shravan month jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZm4TmWRheeSFSvhcQJV3dDlB6ajddru_RDUf0g61OIMEgTBPjrSvMYLQDMZp_ZyfGF0Zv9YbC0j1NFHBVq-ozdS_mCgMP_FlvJClPWiKugwU7CAu88jy4vZMwsC9dGRZSpB7CWYMecDU/s1600/shravan+month+jokes.png" title="shravan month jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
Height of advertisement - Shravan Mahina Humor<br />
<br />
Wife-"Aaj nahi plz, aaj mera vrat hai"<br />
<br />
background voice . .<br />
<br />
MANFORCE COND0M SABU-DANA FLAVOUR.<br />
<br />
Only 4 fasting days, "Ab UPVAAS MEIN BHI BUJHAYE PYAAS.<br />
_____________________________________<br />
<br />
Girl- Shravan mahina hai. Aaj main tumhare liye fast karungi<br />
Boy- Darling, isski kya jaroorat hai...room toh tumhara hi hai...slowly slowly karenge.......<br />
Girl - Get out haramkhor <br />
_____________________________________<br />
<br />
She: Shravan mein bhi Daaru peete ho , disgusting ..!!<br />
Me: Hum Bhagwan ko Dil mein rakhte hai,Liver mein nahi<br />
_____________________________________<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/02/sharabi-jokes-funny-shayari.html">Sharabi Comedy Shayari & Jokes</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-57016334408711455732017-07-23T10:33:00.001+05:302022-07-17T23:49:20.420+05:30Funny Jokes About Rappers, Rap Music Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><h1 style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Get funny rapper jokes, puns about rap music, diss jokes</h1></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnnHpS6F6e4RWdRE-CcBaF-0xxNp93hgNiBvc-AITuJ7jri9ehN4_Ly08HrKFv8d1LrwM1UVFp6APskcHLNYYQhdGVqc5V0SiBqPBxLyl6tEIO3sgBi6KybRPK6h7IMbPKYqia-bI_YvU/s1600/funny+jokes+about+rappers+rap+music.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="funny jokes about rappers rap music" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnnHpS6F6e4RWdRE-CcBaF-0xxNp93hgNiBvc-AITuJ7jri9ehN4_Ly08HrKFv8d1LrwM1UVFp6APskcHLNYYQhdGVqc5V0SiBqPBxLyl6tEIO3sgBi6KybRPK6h7IMbPKYqia-bI_YvU/s1600/funny+jokes+about+rappers+rap+music.png" title="funny jokes about rappers rap music" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">Rapper jokes</h3>Eminem- I am Rap God</div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Chotu at dhaba- DaalmakhaniDaalFryAaloParvalAaloLaukiAaloBainganAaloMatarpaneerShahiPaneerHandiLolRapGodBitchPlz</div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
_________________________________________<br />
<br />
"When life gives you Singh , make it Arijit Singh not Honey Singh"<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<br />
People with blue eyes now want to donate their eyes<br />
<br />
THANK YOU HONEY SING<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<br />
Love Dose Rap:-<br />
Honey Singh on phone: Uncle, Hai ghar, hai<br />
paisa hai gadi... 2 jodi me ladki bhejo, ladki<br />
hui humari..<br />
<br />
Uncle: hai gun hai talwaar hai aari, dubaara<br />
phone kiya to ma ch*@ denge tumhari..<br />
Honey singh: ok bye<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<h3>
Funny Rapping Jokes </h3>
<br />
Honey singh LOVE DOSE rap new version..<br />
Yo yo<br />
<br />
Yeh gandd sa roshan chehra..<br />
jhaato ka rang sunehra..<br />
kaise dekhu tera bhosd@..<br />
bh0sde pe jhaato ka pehra...<br />
Iss jhaato ko hata do..<br />
Bhosde ko dikha do..<br />
Bh0sde ke nashile jaam..<br />
L@ude ko pila do..😋<br />
<br />
Lagta hai pehle yaha bahut lund ghuse ya nahi mujhe nahi mallum..<br />
Idhar udhar kya deti..<br />
Girl I am fuck!ng 2 you..<br />
Ab bh0sde se hataya jhaate..<br />
L@vde ko ghussao ji..<br />
<br />
Duniya wale Jo bhi soche..<br />
Humse Hi chudva0 ji..<br />
Ab L#nd ko uthao ji..<br />
Aur g@nd mei ghusao ji..<br />
Unko bhi future mei chodne wale L@vde se milao ji..<br />
Hello uncle..<br />
<br />
Na masti,chalo kaam ki baat pe aate hai..<br />
Ab aap ye puchoge ki Aap kitna time lagate hai..⌚<br />
Bas jitna aapki ki beti ek mahine mei chudv@ti hai..<br />
Ek hafte mei mera l@uda..<br />
Utne shot lagata hai..😎<br />
<br />
Hai L#nd..<br />
Hai condom..<br />
Hai jh#ate..<br />
Tum nangi apni ladki bhejo ladki ko hum lagate<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<br />
Eminem God of Rap<br />
2pac king of Rap<br />
Lil Wayne prince of Rap<br />
Honey Singh dog of rap oh sorry Crap<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<br />
<br />
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?<br />
<br />
Fo' drizzle.<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
What does Snoop Dogg use to wash his clothes?<br />
<br />
Bleatch<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
What's brown and rhymes with snoop? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Dr Dre!<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Tupac wrote the book of rap, Eminem finished it, and Lil' Wayne still can't read it.<br />
_________________________________________</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-27081963011189292332017-07-09T13:10:00.000+05:302017-07-09T13:10:13.778+05:30Flipkart Jokes,Trolls,Tweets On Flipkarts,Hilarious Reviews + Pictures<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
How can we forget our beloved flipkart & their services :) So enjoy some of the hilarious <b>flipkart jokes,tweets,trolls</b> and much more.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqeRT9DfJvM1qcj7O9ugfO-mTQPADOjJZ5Ab23wbNorGz4nItejwnWyGAfqTORoAJBOu1mrqYpc_qtUMcLH5yYpppIDU6H4xFx6ixccK1IDzwG00IkilciYVOJSpukH_JOn2NzLld5KZo/s1600/flipkart+jokes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="flipkart jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqeRT9DfJvM1qcj7O9ugfO-mTQPADOjJZ5Ab23wbNorGz4nItejwnWyGAfqTORoAJBOu1mrqYpc_qtUMcLH5yYpppIDU6H4xFx6ixccK1IDzwG00IkilciYVOJSpukH_JOn2NzLld5KZo/s1600/flipkart+jokes.jpg" title="flipkart jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
If flipkart starts matrimonial services....they will become the no 1 matrimony site....<br />
Because they have a 30 day return policy<br />
_________________________________________<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
Flipkart Vs Amazon Jokes</h4>
Interview at Flipkart.<br />
<br />
Interviewer : Why should I hire you ?<br />
<br />
Candidate : My uncle bought a smartphone from Flipkart. It was used. He returned it and ordered for another one. It was also used. His money was wasted. Then he ordered the same mobile on Amazon. A brand new smartphone came. After 6 months, battery was draining fast. Informed Amazon. Got a replacement of the whole mobile. If you want to change these bad sides of Flipkart, let me in or your other option is to become inferior to Amazon forever.<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/03/Funny-Interview-Jokes-One-Liners-Questions-Answers-Pictures.html" target="_blank">Funny Interview Jokes</a></li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqB8FLwJ9Cb6NS7QsYVm54lMCeadvbPV28aGzaWFZdyVPnFNqGEgUqhriAAh-rpypS7xFkilynOQrGzxli9JcIl-4wXP1fYUgJOfYtn7lHK3m8QZ5lDa7kRdVz5mszY7jj3yC40l4oVyY/s1600/flipkart+vs+snapdeal+jokes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="flipkart vs snapdeal jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqB8FLwJ9Cb6NS7QsYVm54lMCeadvbPV28aGzaWFZdyVPnFNqGEgUqhriAAh-rpypS7xFkilynOQrGzxli9JcIl-4wXP1fYUgJOfYtn7lHK3m8QZ5lDa7kRdVz5mszY7jj3yC40l4oVyY/s1600/flipkart+vs+snapdeal+jokes.jpg" title="flipkart vs snapdeal jokes" /></a></div>
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__________________________________________________<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Funny Tweets On Flipkart</h3>
<div>
<div>
Flipkart sale playing more hard to get than that ex girlfrnd who suddnly turned hot right aftr u dumped her #bigbillionday @Flipkart — Kushal Thakkar (@i_kushal) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Year 2020: People buy everything online. Upset mall owners run a #BigBillionDay campaign. Shoppers killing each other. Blood everywhere.</div>
<div>
— Akshar (@AksharPathak) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Kejriwal:I have empirical evidence that all FlipKart,Amazon,Snapdeal,Myntra requests go 2 the same server.Sab mile hue hain. #BigBillionDay — Sixth Sense (@cuck00call1ng) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Twinkle twinkle Flipkart Can’t find the products in my cart Fed up seeing OUT OF STOCK Is this all some MOCK? #flipkart #BigBillionDay</div>
<div>
— THE BACK BENCHERS (@Dbackbenchers) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So how many people got caught in their offices shopping on flipkart?. #bigbillionday. — Krishna (@Krizanand) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Flipkart: EID SPECIAL SALE!! HEAVY DISCOUNTS!! HURRY UP!! Me: Can’t find products with discounts printed in the ads Flipkart: LOL! Goat you!</div>
<div>
— The Bad Doctor (@doctoratlarge) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Raghuram Rajan lauds Flipkart for doing its bit to fight inflation #BigBillionDay — The UnReal Times (@TheUnRealTimes) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Xth board: 404 not found JEE results: 404 not found CAT reslts: 404 not found Flipkart sale: 404 not found Life is a quest to find 404</div>
<div>
— GabbbarSingh (@GabbbarSingh) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, Flipkart is giving 44% off on Half Girlfriend. Which of course makes it just slightly over a Quarter Girlfriend. — Ramesh Srivats (@rameshsrivats) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
‘Sold out’ is to Flipkart what “Please try again later” is to IRCTC. #BigBillionDay</div>
<div>
— Gautam (@gautamverma23) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Wtf. What kind of math is that! :/ #bigbillionday pic.twitter.com/ao7kycJS34 — Dushyant Rao (@DushyantRaoC) October 6, 2014</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Flipkart’s #BigBillionDay – A sale where u cannot buy what u want to buy.! @Flipkart</div>
<div>
— Anant Sinha (@AnantSinha67) October 6, 2014</div>
</div>
<div>
__________________________________________________</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-83396716503009450782017-06-30T21:52:00.000+05:302017-06-30T21:52:01.444+05:30Hilarious GST Jokes,GST Funny Quotes,Fullforms,Trolls,Pictures 😁<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
GST ! Yeah ... So hot topic now a days. Whole India is having a talk about it.Some are worried, Some are excited.But my duty is to make you people laugh , So I'm here to share some of the funniest GST jokes,GST funny quotes,funny GST fullforms,shayari & all humorous stuff related to GST.</h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh94xPyJaXWXrO1H5cvLygOqzkXI9zNmmmH6zo4ig0ENftna9vO28nxFfAI2UCRbACdvAoKl_EicCi7y48GR4UiBPHt1wqx2UPYdkncGUZMNKpSCzuU6BZEnTWbYE0636a_tMcpCfHw_uc/s1600/gst+jokes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="gst jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh94xPyJaXWXrO1H5cvLygOqzkXI9zNmmmH6zo4ig0ENftna9vO28nxFfAI2UCRbACdvAoKl_EicCi7y48GR4UiBPHt1wqx2UPYdkncGUZMNKpSCzuU6BZEnTWbYE0636a_tMcpCfHw_uc/s1600/gst+jokes.jpg" title="gst jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
kisi vyapari ne rahul gandhi se pucha... GST kya hai ?<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
woh bola -<br />
Goodnight , SweetDreams , Takecare.<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
On a lighter Note,<br />
<br />
GST is lot like a wife :<br />
<br />
- you've to report everything you do,<br />
<br />
- Will keep you busy & Won't let you do any other stuff apart from herself,<br />
<br />
- You've to remember dates, failure of which will lead you into problems,<br />
<br />
- You had many girlfriends previously like VAT, Service Tax, Excise. Now you've to deal with only 1 - GST<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
Lord Krishna's Advice to Arjun in Mahabharat<br />
Quote:<br />
"My dear Partha,<br />
Change is the rule of this world!<br />
<br />
What we called as Sales Tax till yesterday became VAT today and will be called as GST from tomorrow<br />
There is no need to cry since you haven't lost anything!<br />
Whatever you got,you got it from your customer!<br />
<br />
Whatever you earned you gave it to the govt and whatever left out you gave it to your wife!<br />
You never had anything of your own nor are you going to have anything in future!<br />
Then why be worried or afraid of GST"<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
Please do not send any GST related jokes, mobile battery automatically goes down by 28%.<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
Only way BJP can pass GST bill in this session is..<br />
.<br />
.<br />
by renaming it RGST(Rajiv Gandhi Service Tax).<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
Please do not send any GST related jokes, mobile battery automatically goes down by 28%.<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
Latest Good news...<br />
<br />
GST will be 0% on Your smile...!<br />
<br />
So keep smiling always...!!<br />
___________________________________________<br />
<br />
A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for<br />
weeks, but nothing happened.<br />
<br />
Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.<br />
<br />
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA, they decided to forward<br />
it to the President of India as a joke.<br />
<br />
The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.<br />
<br />
The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy,<br />
and he did not want to spoil the kid.<br />
<br />
The little boy was delighted with Rs...20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,<br />
which read:<br />
<br />
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.<br />
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan(President House) in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax<br />
___________________________________________</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-33074478343670749022017-06-25T12:45:00.000+05:302017-06-25T12:45:21.688+05:30Funny 911 Jokes,911 Prank Calls With Images,Conversation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK7XW3Rv86Us5n90XaIdQL9heIQsF9OB2O5mZUTtvzCjtSp_I016KvJ_oa7z8aMaJtPY2P8iVi9P-FkUMltPkuFA7Gr7s0VxBGIbqRBaYGG9GfgETuEnTG2OALOrmNGfCOpI1GaP5rAtQ/s1600/funny+911+jokes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="funny 911 jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK7XW3Rv86Us5n90XaIdQL9heIQsF9OB2O5mZUTtvzCjtSp_I016KvJ_oa7z8aMaJtPY2P8iVi9P-FkUMltPkuFA7Gr7s0VxBGIbqRBaYGG9GfgETuEnTG2OALOrmNGfCOpI1GaP5rAtQ/s1600/funny+911+jokes.jpg" title="funny 911 jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Humorous 911 jokes with funny conversations,pranks,pictures,quotes and lot more </h3>
<br />
Boy: ( calls 911 ) hello 911 i need your help!<br />
911: alright what is it?<br />
Boy: 2 girls are fighting over me!<br />
911: -.- so whats the problem about that?<br />
Boy: the ugly one is winning.<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/06/call-centre-jokes-quotes-one-liners-stories-conversation.html" target="_blank">Call Centre Puns</a></li>
</ul>
<br />
_________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A guy calls 911 in panic.<br />
<br />
Guy - "My wife is having a baby ! Her contractions are only one minute apart !<br />
<br />
911 Operator - Calm Down. Is this her first child ?<br />
<br />
Guy - No you idiot , this is her husband<br />
<br />
_________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Funny(Real) 911 Calls<br />
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?<br />
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.<br />
<br />
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.<br />
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one<br />
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.<br />
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.<br />
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?<br />
<br />
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.<br />
Dispatcher: Excuse me?<br />
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.<br />
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?<br />
<br />
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it<br />
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?<br />
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?<br />
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?<br />
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.<br />
<br />
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?<br />
Caller: Fire, I guess.<br />
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?<br />
Caller: I was wondering...does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?<br />
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?<br />
<br />
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?<br />
Dispatcher: Help you what?<br />
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!<br />
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?<br />
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.<br />
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?<br />
<br />
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!<br />
And the winner is...<br />
Dispatcher: 9-1-1<br />
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.<br />
<br />
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?<br />
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.<br />
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?<br />
Caller: No<br />
<br />
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?<br />
Caller: Running from the Police.<br />
<br />
_________________________________________________</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-72902295386059711562017-06-20T16:24:00.000+05:302017-06-20T16:24:10.339+05:3012+ Funny Biker Jokes,Motorcycle Humor With One Liners+Quotes & Sayings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Funny Collections Of Bikers Jokes, Pick Up Lines , Images, Puns On Bikes - Bikers Will Surely Love </h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN3efDYyfmMtNmU59kmL51ZKGTCM7hofvn8_4DkABKVtIP2Q3E_Enfrk1fwMhu8wVqPCLKz0mkP_aEXqDeLs62Kg47xY_kqqhe1YHCw-zLKCscZdZ-5ncZEds1Wz5k-z4MTXzPfqwLc0E/s1600/biker+jokes+motorcycle+humor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="biker jokes motorcycle humor" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN3efDYyfmMtNmU59kmL51ZKGTCM7hofvn8_4DkABKVtIP2Q3E_Enfrk1fwMhu8wVqPCLKz0mkP_aEXqDeLs62Kg47xY_kqqhe1YHCw-zLKCscZdZ-5ncZEds1Wz5k-z4MTXzPfqwLc0E/s1600/biker+jokes+motorcycle+humor.jpg" title="biker jokes motorcycle humor" /></a></div>
<br />
Some of the hilarious<br />
A biker stops at a young girl who's just about to jump off a bridge..<br />
He asks her: do you mind giving me the final kiss before u jump? She quietly accepted and gave him one of the deepest kiss ever...<br />
<br />
When she's finished, the man said "wow! That is the best kiss i ever had! That's a real talent your wasting! So, why are u committing a suicide?"<br />
she replied: my parents dont like me dressing up like a girl.<br />
By the way my name is John!...<br />
Hahaha eeewwwww<br />
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<br />
Two fleas are sitting on the beach in Daytona. It's the middle of February. One flea has this bad cold, he's sneezing, sniffling, and carrying on.<br />
<br />
The fleas introduce themselves and the other flea asks the first how he got such an awful cold.<br />
The first flea says "Oh it was terrible, I rode down here on the mustache of a guy riding a motorcycle. It was cold, wet and windy. Then it started raining and I got this damn cold."<br />
<br />
The other flea says "That's a rough way to get here, you should do what I do. I go to the airport, find the stewardess lounge, go in the bathroom and hop on a stewardess. It's a quick and comfortable way to travel.<br />
<br />
One year later, same beach, same two fleas. The same flea has the same bad cold. He's sneezing, sniffling, and carrying on.<br />
The other flea says to him "Didn't I meet you here last year and you had that same awful cold?"<br />
The first flea says "Yeah, that was me and I did just what you said. I went to the airport, found the stewardess lounge, went to the bathroom and jumped on this beautiful stewardess. She was so nice and warm and soft that I fell asleep and when I woke up ... I was on the mustache of a guy riding a motorcycle!"<br />
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Funny Bikers Quotes</h3>
A guy riding a honda pulls up to a toll booth. The attendant says, "Two dollars." The guy on the honda says, "SOLD!"<br />
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<h4 style="text-align: left;">
harley davidson one liners</h4>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What do you call a guy riding a honda next too a harley. He is called a hardley.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
A duded-up city rider walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis, SD. He sits at the bar and notices a grizzled old biker with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.</div>
<div>
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the newby rider bravely asks the old biker, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The old veteran of a thousand rides slowly turns his head toward the young pup and says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Eagerly, the guy wearing the shiny new leather fashions reaches over and slides the bowl into his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfed up the chili back into the bowl.</div>
<div>
The old biker quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'</div>
</div>
<div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
A biker wearing all his leathers, chain wallet and tall boots is sitting at the bar.</div>
<div>
A cute girl walks in and sits next to him and says “are you are real biker?”</div>
<div>
He said “well, I build what I ride, I ride over 25,000 miles a year and am not afraid to wrench it when it needs it, I guess that makes me a real biker. He said, “would you like a ride?”</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She said, “I don't ride with guys, I am a lesbian.”</div>
<div>
He said, “How do you know you are a lesbian”?</div>
<div>
She said “When I wake up, I think about women, when I go to the park, I think about women, when I go to sleep I am thinking about women.”</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After finishing her drink she left. Soon after, a couple walks in and sits down next to him and asks “are you a real biker?”</div>
<div>
He said, “I used to think I was, but now I think I am a lesbian.”</div>
</div>
<div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A nasty old biker named "TAZ" walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I said I want to open a damn checking account now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to the window and the manager asks the old biker, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 50 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see", says the manager, "and is this b!tch giving you a hard time?"</div>
<div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A little guy is sitting in a bar staring at his drink for over an hour. A big ugly biker walks up to the bar, takes the little guys drink and gulps it down. Then looks at the little guy as if to say now what you going to do about it. The little guy starts to cry. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The big guy say's," Ah now I didn't mean to make you cry, I hate to see a man cry." The little guy starts to explain,"I woke up late this morning missed an important meeting, my boss fired me. Went to the parking lot to find somebody stole my car, had no Insurance. Left my wallet in the cab I took home, found my wife in bed with another man, and my dog bit me. I came in here trying to get up the courage to kill myself, and now you went and drank the damn poison."</div>
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<div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
harley davidson puns</h3>
</div>
<div>
<div>
An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.</div>
<div>
'Fred,' he replies.</div>
<div>
'Fred what?' the officer asks.</div>
<div>
'Just Fred,' the man responds.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.</div>
<div>
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.</div>
<div>
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.</div>
<div>
"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.</div>
<div>
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."</div>
<div>
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.</div>
</div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"</div>
<div>
The old timer said, "I'm a dirt biker and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight on Sundays and out sliding around corners, "shootin" sand washes and riding up and down the steepest, gnarliest hills I can find at the crack of dawn."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"</div>
<div>
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The old timer said, "He's 99 years old and, in fact, he went riding with me this Sunday, and that's why he's still alive... he's a dirt biker."</div>
<div>
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"</div>
<div>
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"</div>
<div>
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"</div>
<div>
The old timer said, "He's 117 years old."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went dirt bikin' with you this Sunday too?"</div>
<div>
The old timer said, "No... Grandpa couldn't go this week because he got married."</div>
<div>
The Doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Good Lord!!! Why would a 117-year-old guy want to get married?"</div>
<div>
The old timer said, "Who said he wanted to?"</div>
</div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?</div>
<div>
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.</div>
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• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?</div>
<div>
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.</div>
<div>
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.</div>
<div>
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?</div>
<div>
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I took it off the dude who owns this bike, along with his dope, both are in the saddle bags.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?</div>
<div>
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:</div>
<div>
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?</div>
<div>
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.</div>
<div>
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?</div>
<div>
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?</div>
<div>
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.</div>
<div>
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.</div>
<div>
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.</div>
<div>
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.</div>
<div>
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. </div>
<div>
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. </div>
<div>
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" </div>
<div>
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says, </div>
<div>
"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk.</div>
</div>
<div>
_______________________________________________</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-10472217024529639722017-06-11T13:14:00.003+05:302020-10-13T16:28:29.287+05:30Narendra Modi Funny Jokes,Speeches,Trolls,Cartoons,Shayari & Lot More 😄<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguOitDIc_8SxK10R1NwPpu8252EcieV_BLufJEHj99q0SF4PUC_qjTwkIbf1mroGPd4U-MJSDGvBpxDN0gZSBZ6L3tgAK0F2bvPFvcgLIalI0wN6Jx_sE1dtGUhjjdmiiFf1jR3jZPnaw/s1600/narendra+modi+funny+jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="narendra modi funny jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguOitDIc_8SxK10R1NwPpu8252EcieV_BLufJEHj99q0SF4PUC_qjTwkIbf1mroGPd4U-MJSDGvBpxDN0gZSBZ6L3tgAK0F2bvPFvcgLIalI0wN6Jx_sE1dtGUhjjdmiiFf1jR3jZPnaw/s1600/narendra+modi+funny+jokes.jpg" title="narendra modi funny jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
jabse Narendra Modi "NaMo" bne hai, Rahul Gandhi "RaGa", Sushil Modi bne "SuMo". Jabse netao ke nam ki short form aane lagi hai mere do mitro "Harish Goel" or "Mukesh Tomar" ne rajneeti hi chhod di.<br />
inka to thik hai par "Chobelal Dubey" ne to suicide hi kar liya.<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/01/rahul-gandhi-jokes.html" target="_blank">Hilarious Jokes On Rahul Gandhi</a></li>
</ul>
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<br />
Modi aur Trump flight se kahi jaa rahe the<br />
Trump : agar mai yaha se ek crore rupees gira doon to ek crore log mujhe dua denge<br />
Modi: agar mai 100 rupees gira doon to 100 crore log mujhe dua denge<br />
<br />
Pilot ye dono ki baatein sunn raha tha aur bola<br />
Poilt : agar mai tum dono ko yahan se gira doon to puri duniya mujhe dua degi<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitrhiaGLM2iAa2j8BGQBUB57VPNHWHCvnwvXpxbJUPZ-BEdE8-CsfBg1nJPZP9xNxb7peyvxhlKaH2yyitXSkD59R6525jwVowkIXgrXmWc0G0pc-pQ56iwTK7Gr62tM6qGoD0HQr7loA/s1600/narendra+modi+foreign+trips+jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="narendra modi foreign trips jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitrhiaGLM2iAa2j8BGQBUB57VPNHWHCvnwvXpxbJUPZ-BEdE8-CsfBg1nJPZP9xNxb7peyvxhlKaH2yyitXSkD59R6525jwVowkIXgrXmWc0G0pc-pQ56iwTK7Gr62tM6qGoD0HQr7loA/s1600/narendra+modi+foreign+trips+jokes.jpg" title="narendra modi foreign trips jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
Murgi: 120rs/kg<br />
Daal: 120/kg<br />
Modi bharat ke pahle prime minister jinhone 'ghar ki murgi daal barabar' kahawat sach saabit kr di..!!<br />
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<div>
Nawaz Sharif: Modi Ji, how can we improve relations.</div>
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Modi: By exchange programs. We'll send Mayavati to Pak, you send Hina Rabbani to India."</div>
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<br />
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Funny Speech Jokes By Narendra Modi</h3>
</div>
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<div>
Modi:l- Mitron, ek joke suniye...</div>
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Mayawati- sunaiye</div>
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Modi- Seats.</div>
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Mayawati- I didnt get it.....</div>
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Modi- Exactly</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;"><b>Funny Jokes About Arvind Kejriwal & Narendra Modi</b></h3>
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Kejriwal wife: When is modi's birthday?</div>
<div>
Kejriwal : 17 september, but why?</div>
<div>
*She starts beating him*</div>
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Kejriwal : Why are you beating me?</div>
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Kejriwal's Wife: Yesterday was my Birthday!!</div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
There was 1 horse in a room full of donkeys.</div>
<div>
Obama, Putin & Modi were called for a competition to find and bring out the horse.</div>
<div>
Obama entered the room and came out of the room after 1 hour but empty handed.</div>
<div>
Next Putin entered the room and came out of the room after 2 hours but empty handed.</div>
<div>
Then our Modi Ji entered the room </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Within 5 minutes picked up the horse.</div>
<div>
Times Now-wala Arnab Goswami triumphantly interviewed him and said..</div>
<div>
"The nation wants to know how you managed to pull off this incomparable feat..."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Modi replied </div>
<div>
"I entered the room & said</div>
<div>
"Achhe Din ane wale hain..."</div>
<div>
Then, all the Donkeys started dancing...</div>
<div>
"So it was easy to identify the Horse !!!"</div>
</div>
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<div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Narendra Modi & Rahul Gandhi Jokes</h3>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<br />
Once Rahul & Narendra Modi, happen to be lost in a desert,</div>
<div>
After days of walking without any water or food, They noticed a Mosque.</div>
<div>
Rahul Said 2 Modi- "I will walk in saying that my name is Mohammad & You say that your name is Ahmad,</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
This way we will get some food. I have done this before too.</div>
<div>
We can easily fool them.</div>
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Modi- No, i am Hindu Nationalist, I won't change my name, I will stick with my name.</div>
<div>
They walked in.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Maulavi asked: Who are you?????</div>
<div>
Rahul- My name is Mohammad.</div>
<div>
Modi- I am Narendra Damordardas Modi.</div>
<div>
Maulavi- Modi ji ko Pani dijiye aur Khana Khilayiye.</div>
<div>
Aur Mohammad Miya,</div>
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Aapko Ramzan Mubarak</div>
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<div>
If u rearrange the letters "Narendra Modi" you get "Rare Diamond" but If you rearrange the letters "Sonia Gandhi" you get "Doshi Naagin"</div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"I don't believe in NASA, ISRO, I want to travel around the world and prove myself that earth is spherical"-Narendra Modi.<br />
_____________________________________________________<br />
<br />
Modi's tour of Bihar completed. PM back on his foregin visit to UK.<br />
_____________________________________________________<br />
<br />
There are two types of countries in this world<br />
a) Modi visited<br />
b) Modi not visited.</div>
<div>
_____________________________________________________<br />
<br />
2014:<br />
<br />
What does a Gujarati do when America denies him a Visa?<br />
_____________________________________________________</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpkiAnvt3RR-9vWBAykfnLysACUrzkJqaXE4kQOd1JsZIfMTnMQMr2y2ZnBlQ8B9MXEyevi4sFwm7Tc4qtymHaJ84t4aU-kiTFZgoSGsw1awBz7qtnfUWo_btJied4sc-O7IWEECOQpy4/s665/narendra+modi+water+wind+turbine+joke.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="narendra modi water wind turbine joke" border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="665" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpkiAnvt3RR-9vWBAykfnLysACUrzkJqaXE4kQOd1JsZIfMTnMQMr2y2ZnBlQ8B9MXEyevi4sFwm7Tc4qtymHaJ84t4aU-kiTFZgoSGsw1awBz7qtnfUWo_btJied4sc-O7IWEECOQpy4/w320-h240/narendra+modi+water+wind+turbine+joke.jpg" title="narendra modi water wind turbine joke" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br />
<br /></div>
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Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-88969424668738466752017-05-28T14:28:00.002+05:302022-07-17T14:06:36.373+05:30Funny Exam Result Jokes,Status,Quotes,Sayings,Shayari & Lot More<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h1 style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Hello Students ! In tension of results? Don't worry , Tapori Baba is here to tell you some funny result puns,hilarious quotes,status,shayari and much more humor related to the exam results.</h1>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZLpDKGREq-kAVHFUvIORe5myP7XkMfa7jZHAMWPeTbl6b43gJ1nfCfvn-JyLuZEZVNESXGmE1xBoBH9F87M2RVWkuGPvTm2QF7MsR4ydZUVfe-VmBnP-j-okNvwhySdwExLly_Yz-dMY/s1600/funny+exam+result+jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="funny exam result jokes" border="0" data-original-height="292" data-original-width="560" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZLpDKGREq-kAVHFUvIORe5myP7XkMfa7jZHAMWPeTbl6b43gJ1nfCfvn-JyLuZEZVNESXGmE1xBoBH9F87M2RVWkuGPvTm2QF7MsR4ydZUVfe-VmBnP-j-okNvwhySdwExLly_Yz-dMY/s1600/funny+exam+result+jokes.jpg" title="funny exam result jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
After Result : PASS<br />
<br />
Teacher: arey akhir padhaya kisne tha!<br />
<br />
Mom: Sab hanuman ji ki kripa hai<br />
<br />
Papa: Arey beta kiska hai<br />
<br />
True Friend: wah yaar... chal ek sutta pi ke aate hai..<br />
<br />
But of Result : FAIL<br />
<br />
Teacher: I knew that, arey class me koi response hi nahi deta tha<br />
<br />
Mom: Sab uss mobile ki wajah se hai, bhagwan ne buddhi to di nahi hai<br />
<br />
Papa: tumhara hi beta hai, aur laad pyar karo, sar par baithao..<br />
<br />
sab badalte hain but<br />
<br />
Friend: Koi nahi yaar, chal ek sutta pi ke aate hai 😀<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/04/Funny-Examination-Jokes-Answers-Quotes-One-Liners-Hilarious-Pictures.html">Here are some hilarious exam jokes</a></li>
</ul>
<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
Funny Exam Result Quotes</h3>
RESULT AA GAYA..<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
. .<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
. .<br />
Ye 3 Words, Haste Khelte Insaan Ki Ek Pal Mai<br />
Duniya Ujaad Sakte Hain..<br />
Agree ?<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
After Result - Girls Reaction :'(<br />
Ladki 1 (Rote Huve) - phir sesirf 91%<br />
<br />
Ladki 2 (Bahot Rote huve) - 5baar revise karne k Baad Bhisirf 93% kaisa Aa sakte hai Number<br />
<br />
Ladki 3 (Bahot Jada Rote huve) - Mai mummy ko kya Mu Dikhaungi In 92% Number ke saath ,,,<br />
<br />
Ladki 4 (Bahot Bahot Jada Rote huve) -<br />
sirf 94%?? kahan kami rahgayi ,, :'(<br />
<br />
After Result - Boys Reaction ;)<br />
Boy 1 - Tere bhai ne fod diya is baar..poray 66 % hain..ha ha ha<br />
<br />
Boy 2 - Papa to Naach Uthenge Jab Unhe Pata Chalega ki mai pass ho gaya by grace .. hahahahaha<br />
<br />
Boy 3 - Wo to sir ne Copy karne di jo 45 % aa gaye ...warna To band bajj gaya tha..hahahahaha<br />
<br />
Boy 4 - Main to baal baal bacha .. Border pe pass ho gaya pure 35%aaye hai na 1mark jadana 1 mark kam,<br />
Muje to yakin hi nhi ho raha ki mepass ho gaya,,<br />
paper check karne wala devta tha Devta.. hahaha<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
College Campus:<br />
<br />
Student 1: Results are out, come we'll go & see<br />
<br />
Student 2: I'm with my dad. U see mine & please msg me. If fail in one subject say "Good morning to U" If 2 subjects then say "Good morning to u & ur dad"<br />
Later,<br />
<br />
Student 1:<br />
Good morning to u & u r family & neighbours also<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
Class 10: "Beta, bas iss saal mehnat kar le phir saari zindagi aaraam karna."<br />
class 11:<br />
<br />
"Beta, do saal theek se padhai kar le phir aaram se rehna."<br />
<br />
Graduation: "Beta, bus degree achhi tarah puri kar le, phir aaraam rahega."<br />
<br />
after graduation:<br />
"Beta, post graduation kar le, phir maze karna."<br />
<br />
after post graduation:<br />
"Nalayak, yahan pada aaraam kar raha hai, kaam pe kaun jayega tera baap..<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
Dad:result ka kya hua<br />
<br />
Son: Dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news<br />
<br />
Dad:good news bata.<br />
<br />
Son : mai pass ho gya.<br />
<br />
Dad : great, aur bad news.<br />
<br />
Son:good news galat hai.<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
Father:- Tumhare Result Ka Kya Hua?<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
SoN:- Headmaster Ka Beta Fail Ho Gaya,<br />
.<br />
Father:- Aur Tum?<br />
.<br />
Son:- Doctor Ka Beta Bhi Fail Ho Gaya<br />
.<br />
Father: Aur Tumhara result Kesa Aya?<br />
.<br />
Son:- Wo Vakeel Ka Beta Bhi Fail Ho gaya<br />
.<br />
Father: Kamine me tera Puch Raha Hun??.<br />
.<br />
Son: To Tum Konse Obama Ho..?<br />
Tumhara Beta B Fail Ho gaya..<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
[After result]<br />
<br />
Me: Lo papa report card pe sign kardo<br />
Dad: Angutha lagane waali ink ki dabbi le ke aana.<br />
<br />
Me: Aap to padhe likhe ho fir angutha kyu?<br />
Dad: Tere marks dekhkar teacher ko nahi lagna chahiye ki tera baap padha likha hai..<br />
___________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
funny exam result status shayari</h4>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Keep Calm & Ratta Maar</li>
</ul>
<div>
___________________________________________________</div>
</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-5236404133440649822017-05-18T12:20:00.000+05:302017-05-18T12:20:29.480+05:30Funny Nuclear Bomb Puns-Beware Your Device May Explode 😁<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAJA5k3QYGMKFTArbhpHix7_QJqJXZagoogAH2kikMOPoHGS2ZYWmNXgBq7tMnzuO1RxOtz12t7YOixAqh9RQOI77BpsreAbMQTJ7wDVoTYUYnS6Ld1uBTFx7_Lrq8iJWoMrbkPZKKW1c/s1600/funny+nuclear+bomb+jokes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="funny nuclear bomb jokes" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAJA5k3QYGMKFTArbhpHix7_QJqJXZagoogAH2kikMOPoHGS2ZYWmNXgBq7tMnzuO1RxOtz12t7YOixAqh9RQOI77BpsreAbMQTJ7wDVoTYUYnS6Ld1uBTFx7_Lrq8iJWoMrbkPZKKW1c/s1600/funny+nuclear+bomb+jokes.jpg" title="funny nuclear bomb jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
<h3>
Hello Friends,Here You Will Get Crazy Jokes About Nukes And Humor Relating To Nuclear Bomb</h3>
4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb:<br />
1. Wife's Smile<br />
2. Wife's Tear<br />
3. Wife's Looks<br />
& the most dangerous,<br />
4. Wife's Missed Call.!<br />
______________________________________________<br />
<br />
The Neighbor's have a nuclear family.<br />
.<br />
Their daughter is a Nuclear Bomb.<br />
______________________________________________<br />
<br />
The plane is carrying a nuclear bomb along with an Greek, a Turk, a Russian and an Italian. The pilot comes out and says that the plain is to heavy so the Russian says "I do this for my country" and he jumps off the plane.<br />
<br />
The pilot comes out again and says the same thing so the Italian says "I do this for my country" and he jumps off the plane. The pilot comes and says again the same thing so the Greek says "I do this for my country" and pushes the Turk off the plane.<br />
______________________________________________<br />
<br />
Rajnikant at crackers shop<br />
.<br />
1 Nuclear bomb dena !<br />
______________________________________________<br />
<br />
Instead of Burning a Pataka(crackers) .....<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
,<br />
Date a Pataka...!!!<br />
💥<br />
Have an Eco- Friendly Diwali..<br />
Applicable to Bachelors ONLY !!!<br />
Coz Married People already living with Nuclear Bomb<br />
______________________________________________<br />
<br />
A Tribute to HILLARIOUS CLINTON Knowledge:<br />
A Woman who never knew that MONICA was in her bed.<br />
But do know that Iran is developing a nuclear bomb.<br />
______________________________________________<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
india pakistan nuclear war jokes</h4>
Real Situation for India- Pak nuclear war! During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.<br />
That was their scenario.<br />
<br />
Now India Vs Pakistan Scenario<br />
If there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan. The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.<br />
<br />
Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.<br />
<br />
But they need permission from the Government of India.<br />
They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned and adjourned indefinitely.<br />
<br />
The President asks for a quick decision. In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a re- launch are still on.<br />
Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support withdraws it.<br />
<br />
The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week. As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed. The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.<br />
<br />
A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission. The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.<br />
<br />
Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM. Fortunately, there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.<br />
<br />
In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight. The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA.The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting. This time all the parties agree. Its three months since the army had sought permission.<br />
<br />
But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision. Human chains are formed and Rasta Rokos organised. In California ...and .....Washington , endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government, mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".<br />
<br />
On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan. Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fish.<br />
<br />
A missile (smuggled by Pakistan from USA) is pressed into service. Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it therefore hits its original destination: Russia.<br />
<br />
Russia successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad. The missile hits the target and creates havoc. Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits to Pakistan.<br />
<br />
Thus India never gets to launch the missile.<br />
Pakistan never gets it right.<br />
And we live happily since!<br />
______________________________________________<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/12/funny-donald-trump-jokes.html">Jokes On Trump</a></li>
</ul>
<div>
______________________________________________</div>
</div>
Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8311785336823496529.post-79653552972420922492017-04-14T15:29:00.001+05:302018-02-06T11:55:22.463+05:30China Jokes,One Liners,Made In China Puns,India Vs China Humor & Much More ;)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh39aXgRiUQ2poytf5wCOT7W7bZ8FjajXfDaadvN4Q-paHPrfZQgJSKSLaSH7T9aEEAncldBv1YteWftya1kJE1nzhWAu2LTN0HdnOQ4fIvefLcTEsMYC_AVXlbcHpeP5-nkoJ5m8YX1DI/s1600/chinese+jokes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="chinese jokes" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh39aXgRiUQ2poytf5wCOT7W7bZ8FjajXfDaadvN4Q-paHPrfZQgJSKSLaSH7T9aEEAncldBv1YteWftya1kJE1nzhWAu2LTN0HdnOQ4fIvefLcTEsMYC_AVXlbcHpeP5-nkoJ5m8YX1DI/s1600/chinese+jokes.jpg" title="chinese jokes" /></a></div>
<br />
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
In this post, I'm going to share some funny jokes on china,chinese one liners,India China Jokes,Made in china puns and much more 😀</h3>
</div>
Santa: Tum Chinese jaisi kyu dikhti ho!<br />
Girl: Mere dad Chinese the.<br />
Santa: Wo kaha hai!<br />
Girl: Mar gaye.<br />
Santa: Oh! Aakhir China ka maal tha, chalta bhi kitna!<br />
<div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
TIPS TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS A CHINA PHONE </div>
<div>
1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2. The phone has TV, Torch, Nail cutter,fireligh tr etc.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
3. Text message can be written with a toothpick.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
4. There are some spelling mistakes e.g NokLa,blackderr y, i-porn, samswag etc. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
5. When an aeroplane passes; it records one missed call.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
6. When big truck hoots; it records charger connected.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
7. Wen a china man passes u it says one bluetooth device found</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
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</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Ek Baar america, china or India ki Police me baat hui ke dekhte hai teeno me sabse Tez kaun hai...???</div>
<div>
Uske Baad Ek Khargosh jungle me chora gaya..</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
America police ne Khargosh ko 2 din me Dhund liya.. Fir China ki Police ne khargosh kodhundne me 1 hafta Laga diya..</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Ab India ki Police ki baari aayi Khargosh jungle me chora gaya or Indian Police 2 Mahine tak wapis nai aayi.</div>
<div>
Log unko dhundne pahuche to dekha Indian Police bandar ko ulta latka kar buri tarah Peet rahi thi or Bol rai thi Kabool kar saale tu hi khargosh hai.</div>
<div>
kabool kar.😀</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
--------------------------------------------------------</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Man hires a Chinese Private Investigator, Chen Lee, to watch his wife.</div>
<div>
A few days later he gets this report : Sir.</div>
<div>
I watch house.</div>
<div>
You leave house.</div>
<div>
He came to house.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He and she leave house.</div>
<div>
I follow.</div>
<div>
He and she go hotel.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I climb tree and look in window.</div>
<div>
He kiss she.</div>
<div>
She kiss he.</div>
<div>
He strip.</div>
<div>
She strip.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He play with she.</div>
<div>
She play with he.</div>
<div>
I play with me.</div>
<div>
I fall out tree.</div>
<div>
I not see.</div>
<div>
No fee.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Chen Lee.</div>
<div>
Very Sollee</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
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</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You're so fake, even China denied that they made you.</div>
<div>
<div>
--------------------------------------------------------</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
A Chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk at a bar. Spielberg suddenly slapped the Chinese..</div>
<div>
Chinese: why?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Spielberg: Because you bombed Pearl Habour! My father died there! </div>
<div>
Chinese: But I'm Chinese, not Japanese.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Spielberg: You fool, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Tiwanese, you are all the same.</div>
<div>
Chinese punched Spielberg.</div>
<div>
Chinese: That's for sinking Titanic.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Spielberg: But Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, stupid!</div>
<div>
Chinese: Iceberg, carlsberg, spielberg, you are all the same!</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
--------------------------------------------------------</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
5 Chinese Chu, Bu, Hu, Fu and Su decided to immigrate to the US .</div>
<div>
In order to get a visathey had to adapt their names to American standards.</div>
<div>
Chu became Chuck</div>
<div>
Bu became Buck</div>
<div>
Hu became Huck</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Fu and Su decided to stay in China</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
A Ugandan teacher was sent to China to teach. The first day he entered class, he began by roll-</div>
<div>
calling. He said "Sheng."A student said, "Present."<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
He called the second name, "ChuMuon."Another student said, "Present."</div>
<div>
Suddenly, he sneezed,"Hatchia!"One student seated at the corner stood up and said,"Present.<br />
"</div>
<div>
He then exclaimed and said,</div>
<div>
"hmmmm..."</div>
<div>
All the student shouted, "Absent."</div>
<div>
He got confused and said, "Shaa..."</div>
<div>
Three students stood up and said,</div>
<div>
"Which of us?"<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
The teacher became more confused and he asked, "What is wrong?"</div>
<div>
A student stood up and he said,"Sir, I'm not Wrong, I'm called Wong."<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
The teacher now laughed, "Hahaha!"</div>
<div>
A girl said, "Present sir."The teacher came closer to find out what was going on, as he moved</div>
<div>
his pen fell on the table and made the sound,<br />
"Ping chung chong!"<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
A certain boy said, "Present sir."<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
The teacher now more confused and annoyed, decided to move out.As he was moving out, a group of</div>
<div>
around 15 students stood up and shouted, "Teacher, what about us?</div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
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</div>
<div>
Pastor to Chinese man - Do You Know Jesus?<br />
China-man: Bring Sample I make for you quick quick.<br />
<br />
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
2 chinese men break into a distillery, one turns to the other and says, is this whisky, the other replies, yes, but not as whisky as wobbing a bank.</div>
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Cjec, Tito and John decided to go to China for vacation. Since they were new to the place they had to stay in a hotel. And their room was on the 60th floor. The policy of the hotel was that at midnight</div>
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the elevators were shut down. The next day, the guys rented a car and explored the city. </div>
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They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the hotel after midnight. The elevators were shut down. There was no other way to get to their room but to climb the stairs all the way to the 60th floor. John said,</div>
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”’for the first 20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going. Then Tito can say wise stories for the next 20 floors and lastly, we will cover the final 20 floors with sad stories from Cjec.” So,John started with jokes.</div>
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With laughs and joy, they soon reached the 20th floor. Tito started saying stories full of wisdom. They</div>
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learned a lot before they reached the 40th floor. Now it was time for sad stories. </div>
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So,</div>
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Cjec started: ‘My first sad story is that I left our room key in the car’.’😆</div>
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During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."</div>
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Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.</div>
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When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!" </div>
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This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! </div>
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When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got." </div>
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The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!" </div>
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This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications! </div>
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After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.</div>
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This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!</div>
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The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month." </div>
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This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.</div>
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The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!" </div>
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This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!" </div>
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The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery. </div>
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This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks! </div>
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So who are the real robbers here? </div>
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A Chinese man married an African woman and they had a baby, After two months the child passed away, at the funeral, the African woman kept sobbing and crying saying:</div>
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I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!! So a family member pulled her aside and ask her, what did you know? She replied; Chinese products don't last long.</div>
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Also have a look at<br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://www.taporibaba.com/2016/01/funny-jokes-on-pakistan-in-hindi.html" target="_blank">Jokes On Pakistani Army,Cricket Team</a></li>
</ul>
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Tapori Babahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14189808480296160685noreply@blogger.com